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Pandemic Playfulness

Revisiting Risqué Divorcée - from September, 2020

By Allison RicePublished 3 years ago 2 min read
4
Artist credit: Jenn St-Onge (https://www.deviantart.com/hyacinth-zofia)

Nearly a decade ago, I went through a divorce and started dating for the first time as an adult. When friends suggested I write about my experiences, I started a blog. I have been "revisiting" some of my former exploits lately, and decided to share, using my real name, for the first time.

This piece was first published in September, 2020, at the height of the COVID-19 Pandemic. Edits have been made for clarity and continuity.

I started the day yesterday with a bit of a cry. I didn’t have any specific trigger, but just felt fear, anger, grief and anxiety bubbling up out of my chest. During these times of social seclusion, I find myself desperately missing people, but after looking at the news and social media? I’m also extremely disappointed with many people and feel a lot of rage. It’s possible to crave something and hate it at the same time. (Insert your own metaphor for unhealthy relationships here.)

Feeling weepy and sad, I told my partner that I wanted to escape to some water and let the sound of waves soothe me. He agreed that if I could find an Airbnb that I felt was safe enough, that we could get away for a few days. I forgot that it’s a holiday weekend. I was unsuccessful. But just the act of looking at soothing spaces was a comfort.

We spent another banal day in isolation. Cooking, video games, a little cleaning, social media, an inordinate amount of TV watching. We went to bed far later than we should have. Same ol’, same ol’.

We found each other in the muted light of dawn.

You’d think we were too old for fooling around at 4 am, but apparently not. (It used to be that when the hair tie went on, it was time for some serious action! Now, when that c-pap machine comes off, you know it’s time to get busy!)

Stroking, soothing, sucking, kissing, playing, teasing, comforting, loving. As my body responded and my heart swelled, I giggled. In the middle of a hungry, open-mouthed kiss, he stopped. Looked at me.

“What’s up, babe?”

Smiling, I shook my head, and we returned to each other.

I laughed again.

Concerned, he stopped and said “what’s wrong? Am I tickling you?”

I had to take a moment to think. A couple of heartbeats to consider. Then I responded.

“I’m just happy. I have so much love and joy inside me, that it’s bubbling out of my chest. I am so glad to be here, in this moment, with you, that I have to laugh at how lucky I am.”

“We’re both lucky” he agreed, before returning to taste and plunder.

Just as overwhelming grief had flooded me at the beginning of the day, overwhelming joy had done at the end. Yes, the world is in chaos, people are suffering and dying, many are facing financial devastation, and an unknown future. But in the wee hours of the morning, in the arms of a man that loves, adores, supports, and thrills me, I felt thankful. We have a roof over our heads, food and money enough to sustain us, and health insurance. Our family is safe and reasonably healthy, and we are together.

During these crazy times, sometimes there are tears, sometimes there is laughter, and sometimes they show up at the same time. Through it all, I can honestly say: thank God that dick still works! 🤣

Stay safe, friends!

😘

-RD

relationships
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About the Creator

Allison Rice

Finalist 2022 V+ Fiction Awards, Allison Rice is a work in progress! Author of 5 previous Top Story honors including “Immigrants Among Us” "Pandemic ABCs" and a piece about Inclusion, Alli is an avid reader, and always has a story to tell!

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