My search for a sub

So the BDSM community isn't bad, neither are some of the people that I encountered. I also don't want my story to scare any Doms out there. I am not naming names so I can't get sued. I also don't know real names, only screen names. I won't go through all the people that I encountered on my journey, it would be boring. I also can't remember all of them. I only remember recent ones, crazy ones, rude ones or ones that have made me mad/confused.

I started off my BDSM journey as a bottom type but I then morphed into a switch. I really wanted to discover my dom side and let her come out to play. I have been this Lena/Eva sub charter this whole time and now I wanted my Mistress alter ego to come out. I don't have a name for her yet.

A few years ago I started my journey finding a female and/ or a sub. I found a young lady who was a sub that I was interested in. I messaged her and we started to talk then something happened and well one of us dropped the ball and we moved on. I also think she blocked me at some point. We reconnected on tinder and after we realized where we first originally found each other I mentioned how I was waiting to get my strap on. I never said who I wanted to use it on but she told me I was to sexual and blocked me. People like this are too sensitive for the lifestyle.

So after her I took a break from trying to find a female in the lifestyle. So when I started my look again it was just a basic search. The only problem I couldn't find a woman who wanted to be with women who wanted to meet with me. I also think me being listed as the mentor to a someone that was a guy threw off some women. It didn't stop guys at all but of course not a lot stops men. I kept having to say no because at this time I wasn't looking for men. My partner was allowing me to have women but didn't realize that if a sub crossed any boundary including a no sex boundary they could be dismissed. So when he found this out he allowed me to start searching for a male sub.

So I went on to try to find a sub of any gender. Male subs are a whole other creature, hell men in general are different creatures. I kept getting guys who were listed as a dom. I told them I don't care what you claim to be I care about what you are listed as. They don't realize how shady that looks. Are you are dom claiming to be a sub then when you hook me you're going to try to dom me? Plus how stupid do you think women are? I don't think there are many women who are going to fall for the whole "I'm a sub but I'm listed as a dom" bullshit. One of the last ones I got was a guy who claimed to be a daddy submissive. First I thought was maybe I just thought I hadn't been informed about this but then I realized no this isn't a thing this guy may just want to be with a kinky chick or he could just be confused. I am leaning toward him just thinking (or hoping) that I was stupid.

A lot of guys prey on the naïve women of the world. Or they hope and pray that all women are stupid or naïve. They know they will find a woman who isn't naïve at some point but I think there's a part of them that are disappointed that they have found a smart woman. Ladies don't apologies for being smart own that shit.

I also found a lot of men who wanted sex and play without a relationship. These guys aren't bad but they aren't what I'm looking for. I want a relationship not just kinky sex or play. I think the lifestyle is full of people only looking for kink sex or play and people like me who want a relationship. I think more and more people are entering this lifestyle for the sex and play which I don't mind. I just want everyone to do this lifestyle the right way.

So I had one woman who I knew would be problematic. I reached out to her and she wasn't interested because I was in a relationship even though the only relationship that was listed was my mentorship with a friend. I then explained that to her and reached out when I didn't hear from her in a while. She later blocked me for being a rude person just because I was nice but honest.

I have had several people block me for stupid reasons like I'm plus sized, they didn't respect a boundary. I had one guy who sent me a friend request even though it says not to on my profile unless I know the person. He asked me how he can meet me and I said no since he couldn't respect my boundary he called me a crazy fuck and blocked me. It's like these people think I will bug people who aren't interested in me or I'm not interested in myself.

Then there was the guy who asked me if there was a preference I had when it came to my sub. I said no and he responded that he didn't think that we wanted the same thing. I didn't know how that was true because I just don't have a preference in what they look like or what their hobbies are.

There was others that were male switches or into cross dressing or feminization. These people aren't bad I just have a preference. With any switches I would want them to have a low desire to be a dom. I feel like male switches are more dom leaning then their female counterparts. If I'm going to be with a switch I want them to be more submissive. With cross dressing and feminization I'm more into people who live full time as the gender they identify as. I'm not attracted into overly fem guys just like I'm not attracted to overly butch or masculine women.

So I hope you enjoyed this article. If there is any other stories I will write more.