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My Filthy Mind

Yes, you have one, I have one, we all have one!

By Carol TownendPublished 3 years ago 9 min read
2
My Filthy Mind
Photo by Guido Fuà on Unsplash

Before I start, don't dare tell me that you don't have a dirty mind. Yes...I mean you, standing by the fridge and thinking "That cucumber is thicker than my mans dick!" or "My female crushes nipples taste as good as those cherries look." You cant tell me that you people who write the filthiest stories have not been there, because in order to write a filthy story in the first place, one must have a filthy imagination, and please, do excuse me (or not!), but I do have a very filthy mind when it comes to both men and women, and to you embarrassed to read this, I stick my tongue out and say "Nah! nah! nah! I'm too hot to handle for you!"

The Banana Story

Right lets get to the serious stuff, starting with the banana story first. I remember my high school really well, and myself and some of my oh so innocent friends (You know thats bollocks! ha!) were sat in the Cafeteria together eating lunch. We had just had sex education in class, and after the long session which seemed to drone on for an eternity, we were all curious. This particular banana was very long, curvy and very mellow yellow (oooh....ahhh!), so it wasn't long before the jokes started.

"Biting this is softer than biting my dick!" A male friend said to me.

"You've never bitten your own dick!" I said

"May be he's bendable and can get his head between his legs, or his dick could be 12 inches long and flexible!" another friend said.

I sat at that table thinking and looking at my friends in some very puzzling ways. It really did not help that my male friend was very hot and I had a huge crush on him, and yet here we were having this conversation about a banana and relating it to his dick! Talk about heated cheeks! I had many images of his dick looking like a massive yellow banana in my head, then I decided it should be green and unripe, because a soft yellow could never get a hard on!

We carried on this observation in silence, until my friend took another bite, and comes out with.

"You girls wanna suck my dick and find out if it melts in your mouth like this banana melts in mine?"

One of the girls laughed at him and said

"I don't need to suck your dick to find that out, as you are aware I did that last night. It sure was mellow yellow and soft down there!"

"Or maybe, green and ripe! A big softie won't give you a hard on. You'll need a big greenie for that!" I threw back at him, appreciating my paying him back for the embarrassment he had caused me.

I breathed a sigh of relief and cracked a laugh as my male friend turned a lovely colour of scarlet and left the table. We sat at that table alone for hours, making some crazy jokes about his dick! Thats what they call banana fun!

The Tapioca Story

Have you ever woken up with a filthy mind, to a point where your thinking of a man or woman who you totally fancy the knickers or undies off? Well, yes, you know you have! You can't deny it!

I woke up a this morning thinking about Tapioca. Yes! That wonderful stuff that we called 'frog-spawn' at school that was commonly served to us as dessert. Now while I'm obsessed with thinking about it this morning, I seem to be strictly reserved to thinking about it in sexual ways. Suddenly I turn to my man and say:

"I wonder if Tapioca tastes like your sperm!"

He says.

"I've never tasted my own sperm!" even though I was actually asking wether it would taste like Tapioca for myself.

As this conversation goes on, my filthy over thinking brain starts thinking about adding the sticky honey, or jam to it and lathering it around my mans dick. Now when it comes to sex, the thought of sex with other women always comes into play, and that boils down to the steamy bisexual female that I am. So, as a result, female sex comes to mind, and I wonder if I can add the jam and the honey together to lather all over a females pussy and just lick it off! (Yes, if you have had female to female sex, you'll know that does out of this world things when bringing on that big-O!)

Me and my partner start to talk about this, and he says

"Maybe you could try it on both of us, and then maybe we both could try it on her!"

Yes this is where 2 definately become 1 I think; thinking suddenly about my friend Lindsay Rae Brown who changed the way in which I see this spice girl song forever! See this article to understand why! https://vocal.media/filthy/a-lyric-analysis-of-the-song-2-become-1-by-the-spice-girls

He decides then that both of us females should try it on him! Ahh! if only he had the courage to do that one for real, I'm sure myself and my female friend wouldn't say no!

So as you can see, Tapioca now has a different meaning in the world of sex!

Watermelons, watermelons!

Now don't get me wrong. I do love those beautiful bouncy, soft, touchable juiciest breasts, and no matter what size they are. I love sucking those cherry nipples while massaging the beautiful squishy super soft fruits that they are attached to. However this debate took place with a friend.

"I hate my breasts. One is bigger than the other, and finding a shop that stocks my bra size is impossible." I told her

"Oh! Have you seen mine, smaller than a blueberry. I want some of what you have!" My friend says.

"You love watermelons then?" I ask

"Watermelons, watermelons everywhere! Great to taste and won't splatter unless your pregnant!' she says.

"Can I touch your breasts?" she asks

I find this woman so hot, that this is an offer that is irresistible. However we were in college, and getting caught in a rendezvous of passionate touching was so easy here! We decided to use the principles office. We managed to come up with a flimsy excuse, grab the key and we went further than bursting watermelons! We were in a deep thrall of passionate sex on the principles desk. This started with our filthy minds! It seems we both had the fantasy of touching each other up and then having mad sex in the principles office without getting caught. However, we decided we wanted taste, so we got the squirty cream out and had fun licking it off each others breasts, and we even ended up taking it all the way down to a point where we made each other orgasm loudly! After this session, we got close, and we had fun measuring our 'watermelons' to see how big they grew with each other, except these sessions always ended up with us in a raunchy session! Well at least there is one thing out of this, we both know breasts are beautiful and just how filthy they can make us! My husband will more likely read this confession in shock!!

Oh and before I end this watermelon story. Only the cherries on the melons get hard!

Three in a Bed!

Yes you read that, and no I'm not ashamed. Sexual role play is important to me in the bedroom, and that role play often involves fantasies of my husband watching me have sex with a woman or a woman having sex with both of us. These are things I have done with men and women before I married and I did find it hot. I have a very deep emotional and sexual attraction to women, despite being married to a man, and before you criticise me, let me just say he fucking loves it!

My favourite fantasy often involves a woman going down on me while he is inside me, or my husband watching her lick my pussy out. I would never do these things for real unless my husband consented, however, I do know they really steam me up, and they certainly add spice and massive orgasms to our sex-life.

I've had fantasies of being blind-folded while my husband and another woman set lose on me, being tied up while they both do intense sexual things like rubbing me while he is inside or chewing my nipples together while touching each other, and making me come by both masturbating me.

A woman once tied me to the bed and blindfolded me so I couldn't see what she was doing. She let herself savour my entire body and she was so damn gentle with me. Gentle bondage is the way to really turn me on, do it rough and I'll boot you straight off the bed! We had a session stood up, where she tied my hands behind my back, then made me come. A word of safety advice here: If you try this, use soft ribbon as rope tends to cut in and gash the wrists and ankles. However, go ahead and try it, whether with a male, female or even both if you fancy that. I'm telling you this can be very mind-blowing! We were singing orgasms all night (and no I won't sing the horny song for you, I'm sure you can all sing that after you all come yourselves! However, remember the Tapioca and please clean the sheets!)

Wanna play with my Kiwi?

This was started by an ex girlfriend who decided to liken a woman's vagina to that of a Kiwi fruit. Apparently, we are rough around the edges, squishy and juicy inside, and the pips are the dessert!

Think about it this way, we have curls around our vagina, so 'rough around the edges.' Playing with a woman's vagina is so lush, it feels like squishing satin between our legs, and if you have ever done it on satin sheets you'll know what I mean - 'squishy.' Have you ever felt the inside of a woman when she is about to come. I love that feeling, especially on my tongue. To me its like tasting a creamy bailies except with the added and natural buzz of a sex trip!

Conclusion.

By now you'll know I'm not shy when it comes to sex with men or women. I have been through a lot, but I can tell you one thing. I love my naughty, sexy side best, and its here to stay forever.

If you liked this article which I wrote when I had sex on the brain, which is always because I am a hot blooded woman who loves devouring bodies. Hearts keep my heart warm, and tips bring out the sexy in me, so feel free to leave one or both. The choice is yours.

Also, are you thinking of writing for Vocal, then please visit here: https://vocal.media/vocal-plus?via=carol

Other stories you might like are below:

https://vocal.media/filthy/the-other-woman-wqp6wf0euk

https://vocal.media/filthy/karen-and-helen

https://vocal.media/filthy/romancing-the-wild

https://vocal.media/filthy/triangles-of-love

https://vocal.media/horror/lust-the-vampires-story

comedy
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About the Creator

Carol Townend

Fiction, Horror, Sex, Love, Mental Health, Children's fiction and more. You'll find many stories in my profile. I don't believe in sticking with one Niche! I write, but I also read a lot too.

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