In a world of Fifty Shades of Grey, we all now like to think ourselves as open minded. But this open mindedness is often suppressed and rarely allowed out to play. It's a secret side to our personality that we don't let most people see—only those who we are closest to and in these types of relationships with.
It won't come as a surprise that the notorious Fifty Shades had something to do with me discovering my kinky side. I haven't even read the whole book yet, and already its intrigued me enough to investigate more about my sexuality. This along with reading erotic fanfiction written by my partner. What he wrote was incredibly detailed and pretty darn kinky, and it made me want to know more about how I can please him as well as how I can use that to get pleasure myself.
Being transgender, it's often believed (wrongly so) that I likely don't have a sex life to think of. But just because I dislike the body I was born with and go to great lengths to make myself more comfortable, that doesn't mean I'm not open to great sex and exploring new things with my partner. Sure, things may be the wrong way around for us currently, but why should that stop us having a bit of fun and being totally vulnerable yet comfortable with each other?
Having a "daddy" type relationship with my partner in the bedroom is something that I find really sexy. There's a level of rawness and naughtiness to it that just gets all the right juices pumping. We're both pretty versatile, so we're able to switch roles with ease. One moment he's the dominant and telling me what I absolutely must do or face punishment, and the next I'm spanking him and issuing my commands. It's this flexibility in our roles that makes things all the more fun and interesting.
We haven't had chance to do much of what we'd like yet, but based on what we've discussed through numerous sexting sessions—we both have pretty unexplored kinks that will be oh so much fun to try out for real. We're open with each other and trust each other with our bodies, and that is what I find satisfying about our kinky side.
Being kinky isn't all about being "taboo" and a little strangely outcast from society purely because of what you enjoy in the bedroom. It's about exploring each other's bodies and seeing what you like in a safe and trusting environment. It's about two people who love each other finding out what makes their partner tick, and having the trust to do that without hurting or upsetting them.
For us, being kinky is about exploring each others limits and knowing instinctively which ones we can and cannot push. It's about role playing our fantasies and getting satisfaction from what we've always dreamed about. It's ultimately about having the fuck of our lives and the greatest climaxes of all time.
We both have emotional baggage that can make things difficult at times. But this hasn't stopped us from having a good time so far. Exploring kinks within a relationship should be a safe and fun time, and it can be used to increase trust between two (or more) people.
Don't hide away your kinky side just to appease societal norms and expectations. Unite with your partners and tell them what you'd like to experiment with—the results may just surprise you.