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How to Improve Your Sex Life by Practicing Sensual Writing.

by Adriana M. MD, PhD. 11 months ago in sexual wellness · updated 9 months ago
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Let your imagination free and see what happens.

Image by my best in collections - see and press 👍🔖 from Pixabay

“Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.”

Marilyn Monroe.

Most of us dream of having a fantastic sex life. We sigh and eat chocolate while watching the sex scenes on Bridgerton or secretly browse the streaming services for classics like Secretary or Cruel Intentions. We double-check that our phone is playing through the earphones before pressing play on the audiobook app because we are listening to a steamy romance novel that is about to get very, very dirty. Then we come down crashing from the high because things are not nearly that hot in real life.

Is there a way to close the gap between the fantasy world and our world? The answer is yes. You can bring the heat of sensual movies and steamy books to your daily life. It doesn’t matter your partnering situation (or the absence thereof) because your sensuality does not depend on anyone else. It lives inside of you: it is yours to create, nurture, and enjoy. No one needs to know that you are implementing these simple steps. In fact, a little secrecy creates an aura of mystery that the world outside will notice, but no one will be able to pinpoint what is different about you. Here are some steps you can take to rekindle your sensuality through writing.

Step one: find your flavor.

One of the best ways to familiarize yourself with sensual writing is to know that other people are doing it too. And here is a big secret: most of us writers started by cheating. The hardest part of creating stories is to imagine characters from scratch. If you are a novice writer, that could put you in a pickle and cut you off before you even start. So take the easy way out: explore fanfiction.

Fanfiction is the art of reimagining stories and characters that are already published and making them yours. You can find thousands of these stories on free websites like or Archive of Our Own (also known as AO3). The people writing these stories cannot profit from them: they are doing it for its fun. And that makes it even more liberating: there is a whole battalion of explorers like you eager to create and share just for kicks and giggles easily, no strings attached. Just think about which books, movies, or tv shows you love the most, and you almost certainly will find stories reimagining those characters, many of them with a sensual twist.

Step two: ease into it.

If this is your first time, be gentle. Pun intended. If you are not used to highly charged sexual content, start with some innuendo type of reading and writing. This type of expression insinuates that a sexual encounter may occur or is happening without expressing it bluntly. Here are a couple of examples:

“It had all gone downhill for Elle since the day Tom took over the post of her security detail. When he said he would be very close at all times, he meant it. Tom was courteous, warm, considerate, always listening to her requests and needs. Every time he requested a meeting to go over the minutia of her security, it felt like he was laying himself bare for her to command.” You can read this short story here.

As you can see, no sex act occurs in this scene. Yet, there is a clear insinuation of desire and an expectation of nudity out of reach. Next, let’s explore an example of sex happening without saying it explicitly:

I don’t think I act. I move forward and touch his lips with mine. He cocoons me in his arms, deepening the kiss. My mind explodes in fireworks. In a blur, our clothes are off; his marvelous, intoxicating scent is filling every inch of my consciousness, and I lose myself in the most perfect of moments.” You can find this short story here.

Give it a try. Change the names, then explore ways to re-write these passages so they fit your tastes and desires. Keep it as clean or as dirty as you prefer, and if the innuendo turns into full-on groping and grabbing, more power to you!

Step three: up the ante.

When you are ready, experiment with some real dirt. Remember, this is a private exercise; no one needs to know or find out. You can do this using a notebook or create a pen name that makes you feel daring and writing directly on a website like or AO3. That way, your writing will only exist under your pen name, and you do not need to store copies on your personal computer. You can be a dirty birdie, and no one needs to find out. Now try filling in the blanks on the following passage:

“He sits down, pulling me in between his spread legs. I feel the ____ ____ hit my thighs. When I allow it to settle between them, I can feel how it palpitates. The King latches onto my _____, sucking and licking while he rolls his hips, rubbing the turgent ____ betwixt my thighs.” If you would like to read this story, you can find it here.

Step four: keep going and watch what happens.

If you keep doing these writing exercises, exploring new and different fantasies every time, soon enough, you will notice how your sensuality grows and exudes. No matter what is happening in the bedroom, if you are flying solo or interacting with a partner, after a few weeks of writing consistently, you will quickly and easily turn on your sexiest organ: the brain. Keeping your mind ignited with erotic thoughts will translate into more enjoyable real-life sex because you would have created a new habit of being easily cued for sensuality. The sexiest people are not the prettiest ones. The most satisfied are those that know how to turn on the most important sex organ: the brain.


sexual wellness

About the author

Adriana M. MD, PhD.

Neuroscientist, writer, renaissance woman .

instagram: @kindmindedadri

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