The lion that sleeps in the heart

　Trace and I have been partners together for almost eight years. And today, finally, she as a writer and I as a producer, we have established a brand new relationship. This relationship, though weak under my unbreakable friendship with her, seems too fresh without time to accumulate, yet it almost overturned my heart's perception of her, or rather, the perception I once had of her, as just a part of her life.

　　 She restored us all to be too real. If you think about it, she writes about us, whether I, Lok Lok, Di An, Anthony, etc., are all iconic writers who are calling the shots in the hearts of young readers today, and we live in the pampering of readers all year round, wearing a rainbow halo. Yet Trace comes out and tells everyone in a small but firm voice: "They are fragile, they are bummed out, they have low self-esteem, they are ordinary."

　　 With her calm and precise writing, Trace stripped the sequins from our shells bit by bit, leaving us changed into our pajamas and out of our heavy makeup, as if a boiled and peeled egg, tender and fragile, on the table. After reading the part about me, I questioned her indignantly at one point, "Why are you exposing me so nakedly? I'm the company's business brand."

　　 Reading the chapters about me in The Trace was like riding backward in a time machine. The things we experienced together were like countless flash negatives whistling past our ears, and although they lost their color, they still awakened countless fragments sleeping in the depths of our hearts at every moment when they suddenly hit us as if a carp at the bottom of the lake swung and stirred up countless shiny scales in the mud that had already settled.

　　 The memory is no longer the way I subjectively embellished, the past is no longer the teen idol, no longer inspirational no longer moving, in the memory of Trace, I and any adolescent teenager as ordinary and fragile, sensitive and self.

　　 Do I quarrel with Trace?

　　 Of course, we did.

　　 The most recent time we had a big fight, because of a few trivial things, I was so angry. It boiled down to the simple fact that she and Liang had a dinner date with other friends and forgot to call me. As a person with a strong desire to dominate, I can hardly tolerate any friend more important than me in A-Liang and her mind. I got angry and thus went to dinner alone, turned off my cell phone, and took the car home by myself after eating, and the driver said to me, "Trace keeps calling your phone, saying he can't find you." I said to the driver, "Don't pay any attention to her, just take me home."

When the car arrived at the bottom of the block, I saw her and Liang waiting for me at the entrance of the block carrying the huge teddy bear from the reader in the company meeting room. (Later I laughed at them, "How childish are you two?") They both patted my car window with smiles on their faces and made all kinds of movements with their hands holding the bear. I could see through the glass window that Trace's mouth was saying "Don't be angry," but I just indifferently told the driver to keep driving, without stopping. I saw her lost and nervous face in the car window disappearing behind my eyes. Then I even let her ring the doorbell at my door and I didn't open the door. I opened the door half an hour later and found her sitting against the wall on the hallway carpet. She didn't slam the door, she didn't freak out, she didn't die ringing the doorbell, she just stood up shakily when she saw me open the door and didn't say a word, just a tear falling gently down her face.

　　 You see, most of the time, she is so nearly unprincipled to give way to me. I think a lot of my bad habits are, in a sense, spoiled by three women. My mom, Liang, and Trace.

　　 But it was only in front of her (and A-Liang, that's another story) that I would so hysterically expose my childish and brutal side. Because I knew in my heart, and she knew in her heart, that no matter how badly we argued, we would always get back together. We are convinced of this, so we dare in front of each other, not to hide our weaknesses. Perhaps she and I to each other, are very few in the world, even if they expose more shortcomings in front of each other, but still not the slightest hate each other people.