The Blue and the Grey

Grayson had just shit himself. This happens from time to time with young children who are potty training. Unfortunately for his mother the shit had erupted from his diapers and gotten into the carpet in his room. Little Grayson was crying, after all nobody wants to be walking around with crap in their pants. Mom was almost in tears too. Shit on her baby and all over the room. Young mothers have an incredible ability to multitask. It comes with the territory. She consoled and changed her crying son while simultaneously scrubbing and cleaning fecal matter out of the carpet. It was truly an incredible site to behold.

Blue and grey are two colors. Tell me something I don’t know master storyteller you are no doubt thinking. Bite me reader is what I am thinking but I digress. You see young Grayson, the kid who just shit his pants, has a special affinity for these colors. Grey, Grayson, a bit on the nose I know but as with many things it turns out this was just a happenstance, a coincidence if you will. Kid Grayson, the self shitter was slowly turning blue and grey. At this point you are probably thinking all of this is bullshit right? Once again I am thinking you can eat me but I will continue anyway.

Grayson’s head was slowly turning blue. From the neck down his body had begun to turn a shade of grey. No, it was not the shit staining him his skin, he was actually turning grey. Crazy right? Blue and grey don’t really match. At the precise point of intersection a line could be seen. The little dude was bi-colored, literally. His mom and dad tried to hide it at first. They dressed him up in turtleneck shirts and sweaters. Of course his blue head was still just a little bit odd but at least he matched.

Like all kids Grayson eventually grew up. His life was harder than most. He was taunted and teased, bullied and beaten for being different. He survived it though. Even went to college, got a degree in finance, and ended up working for a big multinational corporation. Affirmative action works it seems. When you are one of a kind the world is an awfully mean place but it can also be good, from time to time.

One day a ship appeared in the skies above the city where Grayson lived and worked. The people of earth panicked. Grayson smiled. The aliens on that ship looked just like him. Blue heads and grey bodies. They brought him in and left as suddenly as they had appeared. His mother and father cried.

When that ship appeared I shit myself too.

THE END.

Author's postscript: Here we go again with another ridiculous word count padding author's postscript. The story, which clocks in at right around four hundred and sixty words is perfectly good at that length and I refuse to adjust it to meet some ludicrous minimum word (the magical six hundred words) count bullshit requirement for publication. As of the end of that previous sentence I only stood at five hundred and eighteen words thus I am still typing away. Just piling on more and more crap to meet this dumbest of the dumb, totally arbitrary, and perfectly stupid six hundred word count minimum. I cannot even begin to tell you how pissed off I am right now that I am wasting my time typing this bullshit for no reason other than to meet a stupid minimum word count requirement. Really, really, pisses me off.