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Summer at the Solstice

This is the first chapter of the challenge in question. I really hope to win this challenge in the first place.

By Louise Blake-Michael (Risen Phoenix)Published about a year ago 3 min read
13

Every night at midnight, the purple clouds came out to dance with the blushing sky.

I’m in a deep sleep hearing the soft words of the goddess Gaia, surrounded by light and darkness. Her words in the soft breeze speak to me.

When two become one...

That’s how things must be done…

Darkness looms, and the death of one closest to her may be true.

But with acceptance of who she is, a friend turns into a mate and lover

Is the goal.

Only true light and a journey complete with the greatest evil come to conquer the light.

With pure light and intent, the evil meets his sticky end.

Love and a true heart will bring forth the new prophecy at journey's end.

A journey that never ends.

As the words stitch into my soul like soft music playing in the background.

“Daughter, our enemies are often right in front of us.”

I am startled, shooting up like the devil got me. Scared out of my mind, with the voice of the goddess still in my mind I hear footsteps moving fast to reach my bedroom.

“What’s wrong!?”

“I’m sorry, my dream scared me, Mom.”

“Veronica Sapphire Belevoir you scared me half to death,” Mom said still breathing hard.

“I’m sorry, mom.” I shake looking up at her.

Her face turns into a frown, “Come downstairs, please. Breakfast is served for us. And Alina is coming over, tread carefully with her darling. I don't trust her.”

As mom turns around walking out she turns back around, “Please be careful okay.”

I look at her slightly confused as if Mom knows something I didn’t. Could she have had a vision of what was coming in the future? Something that I didn’t know.

“Ya, mom I will be careful.”

Mom always had a foresight of what was to come.

Living amongst humans is hidden because they are so blind to what’s in front of them.

I walk downstairs to the kitchen the aroma of breakfast smells so good. As I sit down she places chocolate chip hot cakes in front of me with extra chocolatey goodness. As I eat enjoy the chocolate melting down my throat the taste is too intense I couldn’t seem to get enough of it.

“The paperwork has been sent to Beaumont Academy sweetie. I know you deserve this more than anyone.”

I look at her with stars in my eyes, I am in awe as to how this is even possible for me.

My dedication to my studies, remembering all the hours practicing controlling my magic. Yet, I am still struggling with acceptance. I never had a normal life, not like the mortals I am around. The isle of Gaia has so much nevertheless we are in front of humans. We have to be wise to never be seen to use our magic.

I keep looking up at the morning purple sky, something good always happens when this happens. It is as if the Goddess is sending her blessing as a sign to the heavens.

It’s weird, as I finish my breakfast taking the plates to the sink to wash.

“Veronica!” she shouts from the other room.

I rush to the next room and notice she is reading my mail.

“Did I?”

“You did it babe you got in.”

I scream with excitement.

I was over the moon excited.

I just wondered did Tarren, Alina, and my friends get accepted as well. It would make things easier if they did.

There is a darkness here, on the isle something that is unseen to the humans but clear to us.

ExcerptFantasy
13

About the Creator

Louise Blake-Michael (Risen Phoenix)

LouLou maintains a boundary between her professional endeavors and personal life. She wears many hats as an author, blogger, and content creator. In various projects, each one a testament to her dedication and passion for storytelling.

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  2. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  3. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  4. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

  5. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

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Comments (20)

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  • Antoinette L Brey12 months ago

    Makes me wonder what comes next, a great first chapter

  • nice story! I would like to see more!

  • Lily Elleabout a year ago

    The story has some great potential. I like the world you are building, and for some reason kept picturing this as an anime!

  • Donna Reneeabout a year ago

    Very nice story! I like your ideas here.

  • J. S. Wadeabout a year ago

    Well done. Chapter 2? 🥰

  • This is excellent

  • Louis, I enjoyed reading your story. You have a talent for descriptive writing that really brings the reader into the scene. I particularly liked the way you described the protagonist's dream, and the way it seemed to blend with reality as she woke up. Your story also has a good sense of tension and mystery. I am intrigued by the hint of danger that the protagonist's mother warns her about, and the suggestion that there is a darkness on the isle that is not visible to humans. One area where I think you could improve is in developing the characters a bit more. I don't feel like I have a good sense of who Veronica is as a person, beyond the fact that she is a student with a talent for magic. I would love to see more of her personality and motivations come through in the story. Overall, though, I think you have a strong foundation for a story here, and I would be interested to see where you take it in future installments. Keep up the good work! If you feel like it, you can read my take on the challenge: https://vocal.media/fiction/the-purple-tempest

  • Rick Henry Christopher about a year ago

    Good descriptive writing. It ended so quick I was hoping to read more.

  • Babs Iversonabout a year ago

    Well done!!!

  • Gina C.about a year ago

    A wonderful first chapter, I am intrigued to read more!

  • Thank you everyone for your thoughts please tell me more your thoughts

  • Cathy holmesabout a year ago

    Nicely done

  • Ward Norcuttabout a year ago

    lots of VERY good stories do not win anything...consider the overwhelming amount the judges must read! Many times I have disgreed with theier findings - they get it wrong in my opinion (1st and second place should switch, for instance) be that as it may, some people submit lover 20 poems in challenges or multiple short stories. Writing is hard. It must be thoughtful and carefully done(in my opinion). It must be practiced with the intent of telling that story in the best way you can - to that end, look at your editing of this fantastical story; does it need any punctuation to help with clarity? Could you edit and tighten up your imagery and your description of action - especially with repetition- it is a very useful device. Are you using it intentionally? If you do not, it loses its efficacy. good luck on the challenge. I know there is a lot more to this story!

  • Loryne Andaweyabout a year ago

    A nice witchy entry. Well done :)

  • Gina C.about a year ago

    Wonderful story :)

  • Great take on the challenge

  • Cendrine Marrouatabout a year ago

    Thank you for sharing with us!

  • Antoinette L Breyabout a year ago

    thanks for sharing

  • Shane Harrington about a year ago

    I did like it;) great job

  • Alex H Mittelman about a year ago

    A great, entertaining read! Thank you for sharing and I hope you win!

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