Perry and the Shark

Let’s tell a story about a pear that will eat up 600 words. Once upon time there was pear named Perry from Perrington, who came from a pear tree. Perry loved the beach and went there every evening after work. The water at Fruit Beach was always clear, cool, and when Perry was underwater there was always fish. Perry loved the fish more than anything and this was the whole reason Perry would walk or waddle or however pears locomote to the beach. Perry had a lot of friends at the beach. Mrs. Apple, who was really a gourd, Mr. Zucchini, the eggplant twins, Carter the tree, Denise the banana, and more. Perry was happy at the beach.

One evening when Perry went to Fruit Beach there was a massive fin sticking out of the water. This terrified Perry briefly until Perry remembered that even if the fin belonged to a shark, sharks do not eat fruit. Let’s be real here, sharks don’t even find humans as an actual food source and great white sharks would much rather eat seals, sea lions, dolphins, small whales. Perry the pear is a rather smart pear so Perry understands more so than most humans that the odds of being bitten (using the phrase attacked by a shark is outdated in the author’s opinion as to use the word attack infers the shark planned on eating the person being bitten when really the bite was probably the result of mistaken identity or curiosity) by a shark is rare.

Anyway, Perry gets into the water and yup…Perry finds that the fin belonged to none other than a bull shark. The bull shark introduced herself as Maggie and Maggie and Perry had a long conversation about being born a pear and being born a shark. Keep in mind some sharks are viparous meaning they lay eggs and some are viviparous meaning they just give straight up live birth. Perry really liked Maggie and Maggie really liked Perry so Maggie invited Perry for a stroll around the ocean. From the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific and all the way to the Arctic Ocean, Maggie took Perry every where (in reality bull sharks don’t travel to the Arctic and are mainly a coastal species found throughout the world, but this is a story about an animated pear that swims with sharks so yeah).

Perry loved visiting the deepest parts of the ocean with Maggie and found that the traditionally scariest creatures of the ocean were actually quite wonderful. Mrs. Giant Squid, for example, was super kind and made the best tea while Mr. Elbow Squid (no for real, look this kid up) always had a nice story to tell. Of course, the hardest part about traveling around the oceans was the trash. Lots of trashy, trash made by horrible, horrible humans who can’t even dispose of their gum wrappers properly so why are we surprised when scientist finds a license plate in the stomach of tiger shark (true fact, by the way). Perry wanted to do something about all the trash so Perry organized a massive ocean cleanup and every animal from the zebra fish to the Cuvier’s beaked whales (deepest diving mammal in the world, don’t believe me consult google) helped out.

Well, what do you know! Perry cleaned the entire ocean with the help of friends. The ocean from coast to coast was clean and so the ocean, Maggie, and Perry lived happily every after.

I have a few more words until I reach 600 so here I go. Pear tree, pear tree, pear tree, pear tree, pear tree, pear tree….this reminds me of that episode of The Office when Dwight kept typing his name over and over because he hit his head really hard.