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Night-Flyers

A Story Every Day in 2024 9th Feb 40/366 - For the Snow Micro Challenge

By Rachel DeemingPublished 3 months ago 1 min read
9
Night-Flyers
Photo by Robert Katzki on Unsplash

Something in the night woke him. It was a hissing noise. Sky-water, he thought. But there was no drumming, no noise at all, the telltale indicator.

Treading carefully, not to wake the others, he went to the circular hole and looked up. Night-flyers, he thought. Moths made cocoons in the trees around the hut and if they didn't forage all of the caterpillars, night-flyers were released into the air.

He noticed the shift in noise too, like everything had been deadened. Something was very different. He grabbed his spear and went to the opening in the wall. The mammoth fur that served as a covering was heavier to reveal, like it was weighted down with something. He stepped back and thrust his spear at it. It met no resistance. He grunted and used the tip of the spear to pull it to one side.

The night was white. His heart raced, the fire continuing to hiss as flakes met their death mixed with the soft snores of his babies and mate. The sky was breaking, flaking to the ground. He prodded the white with his spear and wondered when it caved. On the tip, he had gathered some and brought it slowly and carefully to his face. He sniffed it. Nothing. Touched it. Cold.

Very gingerly, he stepped into the white. It yielded and scorched with its cold grasp. He gasped. It was coating him, piece by piece.

He was scared, confused. It was a sign.

The gods were angry.

Short StoryMysteryMicrofictionFantasyfamilyAdventure
9

About the Creator

Rachel Deeming

Storyteller. Poet. Reviewer. Traveller.

I love to write. Check me out in the many places where I pop up:

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Comments (11)

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  • Joe O’Connor3 months ago

    Love the original take for this challenge, and the origin of snow! "Very gingerly, he stepped into the white. It yielded and scorched with its cold grasp. He gasped. It was coating him, piece by piece." This is such a well-written bit, describing someone who has never experienced snow before.

  • I always wonder how was the experience of the humans that first doscover something. Like how did they feel when it first rained. Were they afraid? I never wondered about snow so this was a nice twist for me. Do you think you could write a story of the first discovery of death? Lol.

  • So we can blame the snow on him for his failure to slay that first snow!? Great take on the Challenge, Rachel!

  • Gerard DiLeo3 months ago

    The snow-naive lose their winter virginity. Wonderful story.

  • Cathy holmes3 months ago

    The first snowfall. That is such a creative take. Brilliant.

  • Lamar Wiggins3 months ago

    Very creative take on the challenge. I love how you went into the mind of the caveman to show us what it could have been like for him encountering snow. Loved it!

  • John Cox3 months ago

    The discovery of snow! I loved ‘sky

  • Natasha Collazo3 months ago

    Ooooo I loved the build up in this Rachel. 👏 you are such a good writer

  • Hannah Moore3 months ago

    This is brilliant. Not quite got the cognitive capacity to expand on that today, but there was definitely lots of stuff that was brilliant in this.

  • Alex H Mittelman 3 months ago

    Well written!

  • No, the gods weren't angry. They were having fun. Silly ole Grok!

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