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My Heavy Heart

17th February, Story #48/366

By L.C. SchäferPublished 3 months ago 3 min read
21
A pale imitation by AI of what was in my brain (much darker and stickier)

This morning I took my heart out, and left it on my night stand. Deep red, firm, vital.

It was too heavy, see. I thought I'd go a day without it. One day.

I washed the sticky redness off my hands and went to work. I felt light. It was easy to paste an empty smile on my face. People told me I was looking well.

Now I sit here, my teeth scrubbed and my pyjamas on, and I know I should put it back. But it'll hurt. All the more so because I've had these blessed hours without it. Should I leave it a little longer? One good night's sleep. Who can begrudge me that?

I sleep like the dead. When morning comes, it's a relief not to wake up to the pain in my chest.

I have an important meeting today. I'll leave it a little longer. I know, somehow, that the longer I leave it the worse it will be. I also know that I have to put it back eventually. Why, though? a little voice inside me whispers. Maybe that's social convention, and nothing more. You can get by without it.

I compromise. I tell myself (I believe it, too): I'll pop home at lunchtime and put it back then.

Of course the meeting runs long, and then I'm actually quite hungry (how nice, to have an appetite!) So I put it off.

It's been days, and the thought of putting it back is crippling. I know, if when I do, it will knock me off my feet. I have so many things to do! I have my niece's birthday party to go to, I want to be okay for that. I move it from the night stand where it seems to glare at me, all judgement, and put it in a drawer instead.

Has it been months? Years? I went looking for something today, and I found it in the drawer. Grey and flabby and hollow.

I look back on the time I had without it, and I can't really remember much. It was easier, at the time, but it's all colourless and dull.

I know what I have to do.

++++++++++++

Word count (excluding note): 366 words

Submitted on 17th February at 05:55

*Quick Author's Note*

As always, thank you so much for reading! I do my best to reciprocate all reads, so please do leave a comment to make that easy for me. If you enjoyed this story, the best compliment you can give me is to share it, or read another 😁

The story behind the story: This one popped into my head this morning at 4am.

A Year of Stories: I'm writing a story every day this year. This one makes a 48 day streak. I am into week seven, with no sign of stopping or slowing down! You can find all of them in my Index post, which I do my best to update once or twice a week at least. It's also pinned to the top of my profile.

If you'd like to read another, here's my recommendation: I was pleased with this one. What do you think?

If you're joining me on this "story every day" madne adventure, please leave a link to yours in the comments! Whether you're on a creative bent like me, or if you have your own self-imposed criteria, I'd love to see what you come up with for today.

CONTENT WARNINGShort StoryMicrofiction
21

About the Creator

L.C. Schäfer

Book-baby is available on Kindle Unlimited

Flexing the writing muscle

Never so naked as I am on a page. Subscribe for nudes.

Here be micros

Twitter, Insta Facey

Sometimes writes under S.E.Holz

"I've read books. Well. Chewed books."

Reader insights

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Top insights

  1. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  2. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  3. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  1. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  2. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

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Comments (19)

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  • Rene Peters3 months ago

    Can I please live without my heart? It causes too much heartache. 😅

  • I don't have the heart to tell you this, L.C., but..., Now where did I put the dang thing?

  • Donna Fox (HKB)3 months ago

    This was great LC, I hate to say how relatable it but I think that's the best part about this story!! Great work!! Also, I had a fun idea for you!! Have you thought about organizing all these pieces into a book of short stories when you are done the year?? I feel like you could get a couple books out of it if you wanted!!

  • Oneg In The Arctic3 months ago

    I really liked the idea but also meaning behind this story. Sometimes it’s just easier not to feel, not to care- but do you live a life of memories and moments? Or just a life of stuff that got done

  • What an interesting and unusual story... But, I get it.

  • Caroline Craven3 months ago

    Gosh, wow. I think this might be one of my favorite stories of yours. Sometimes I think life would be a lot easier if you could just flatline through it, but I'm not sure I'd like to feel 'nothing'. This is so good.

  • Beautiful piece LC, tragic and sadly all too common in today's world.

  • Joe O’Connor3 months ago

    Brilliant concept, and such a clever way of tapping into the idea of how our emotions make us feel. “It was easier, at the time, but it's all colourless and dull.” says so much, and I like how its placement at the end indicates the changed attitude. Easier, but perhaps not as rich a life!

  • Tina D'Angelo3 months ago

    Oh, how I feel this in my bruised, wounded heart, wishing I could do the same. How many of us wish for the same? I have no words to express how perfect this story is.

  • Cathy holmes3 months ago

    Oh wow. What a concept. Would I want a day without mine, I wonder? Probably, but I wouldn't like the dull grey either. Hmmm

  • Ashley Shiflett3 months ago

    Wow. This is exceptional. I wonder if I would live without mine. ❤️ very nice work!!

  • Hannah Moore3 months ago

    So much. I want that day off so badly. I'm not sure I'd ever recover.

  • Sian N. Clutton3 months ago

    Awesome story. Simple, yet deep! Love it!

  • Mariann Carroll3 months ago

    Your stories are getting darker and darker. The details on how it felt like sticky. Some keep the heart beating when it left the body. It be interesting where this story goes….

  • I'd take easier, colourless and dull any day over whatever shit I'm experiencing now! If I could live without my heart, I'd rip it right out. Well not that I want to. Live, that is. So I might just rip it out. Hehehehehe. Loved your story!

  • Hayley Matto3 months ago

    Very clever, enjoyed this one greatly. Really captured how painful the mundane tasks/day to day stuff can be when your heart is hurting, or creating vulnerability.. made a subscriber outta me! Awesome work!

  • Phil Flannery3 months ago

    I get the appeal. Heartless people seem to cruise through life. The thing is they never knew what it was like to have one in the first place. I love the concept

  • Teresa Renton3 months ago

    I can’t keep up with all your stories, but when I do dive in, you don’t disappoint!

  • D. J. Reddall3 months ago

    Literalization can light things up with fresh strangeness so bloody well, no?

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