My Heavy Heart

This morning I took my heart out, and left it on my night stand. Deep red, firm, vital.

It was too heavy, see. I thought I'd go a day without it. One day.

I washed the sticky redness off my hands and went to work. I felt light. It was easy to paste an empty smile on my face. People told me I was looking well.

Now I sit here, my teeth scrubbed and my pyjamas on, and I know I should put it back. But it'll hurt. All the more so because I've had these blessed hours without it. Should I leave it a little longer? One good night's sleep. Who can begrudge me that?

I sleep like the dead. When morning comes, it's a relief not to wake up to the pain in my chest.

I have an important meeting today. I'll leave it a little longer. I know, somehow, that the longer I leave it the worse it will be. I also know that I have to put it back eventually. Why, though? a little voice inside me whispers. Maybe that's social convention, and nothing more. You can get by without it.

I compromise. I tell myself (I believe it, too): I'll pop home at lunchtime and put it back then.

Of course the meeting runs long, and then I'm actually quite hungry (how nice, to have an appetite!) So I put it off.

It's been days, and the thought of putting it back is crippling. I know, if when I do, it will knock me off my feet. I have so many things to do! I have my niece's birthday party to go to, I want to be okay for that. I move it from the night stand where it seems to glare at me, all judgement, and put it in a drawer instead.

Has it been months? Years? I went looking for something today, and I found it in the drawer. Grey and flabby and hollow.

I look back on the time I had without it, and I can't really remember much. It was easier, at the time, but it's all colourless and dull.

I know what I have to do.

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Word count (excluding note): 366 words

Submitted on 17th February at 05:55

*Quick Author's Note*

As always, thank you so much for reading! I do my best to reciprocate all reads, so please do leave a comment to make that easy for me. If you enjoyed this story, the best compliment you can give me is to share it, or read another 😁

The story behind the story: This one popped into my head this morning at 4am.

A Year of Stories: I'm writing a story every day this year. This one makes a 48 day streak. I am into week seven, with no sign of stopping or slowing down! You can find all of them in my Index post, which I do my best to update once or twice a week at least. It's also pinned to the top of my profile.

If you'd like to read another, here's my recommendation: I was pleased with this one. What do you think?

If you're joining me on this "story every day" madne adventure, please leave a link to yours in the comments! Whether you're on a creative bent like me, or if you have your own self-imposed criteria, I'd love to see what you come up with for today.