Love is blind

As she watches her life flash before her eyes, she wonders what went wrong. How did this person that she loved become so violent or was he like that all along? How could her love have been so blind?

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It had been a beautiful spring day. The flowers all in bloom and the tea olive bushes smelled like breathtaking honeysuckle. Every life cycle was starting over, except for the human cycle of love. Alicia was feeling a little down because this man that she had had a brief relationship with disappointed her. But that was nothing new for Alicia, she had dated guys in the past and even gotten married. All of her relationships had ended badly, and her marriage was the worst.

As she sat in her bubbly, relaxing bubble bath contemplating yet another failed relationship with a man, she receives a message. It was from a guy on a dating site and though he seemed nice and intelligent, she was not physically attracted to him based on the pictures he had posted of himself. Yes, he was very well educated like her and successful in his government career, but he was not Alicia’s usual type of guy. Their conversation started like any other conversation in the dating world. The simple “getting to know one another” type of conversation. But Alicia was skeptical and didn’t want to reveal too much about herself too soon for fear of being humiliated or disappointed again. Then she took a chance and sent him her phone number to text her outside of the dating site……What was Alicia thinking? Was she making another huge mistake?

Then she receives a text message. It’s from him, Will. This is the newest guy from a long list of admirers that had sent Alicia messages, most of which she ignored for many reasons. Their messages are interesting enough between two intelligent adults and to Alicia’s surprise she is developing an interest in talking to Will. Then he takes a huge risk and sends her a recent picture of himself and requests one from her as well.

No, Will is not her usual type of guy. He’s not unattractive, but he’s not like one of these handsome lookers that she’s dated in the past. Will is tall, but not physically fit. He doesn’t have a muscular physique or the body of guy trying to attract a mate.

After several messages back and forth and the usual exchange of pictures, Will calls Alicia. She answers the phone with disappointment and a pattern of unfulfilled romantic endeavors from her past. Even though Alicia and Will are conversing and getting to know the people in the pictures, she is still wondering why she is talking to him. He from her romantic history patterns, doesn’t appear to be the right kind of man for her. But there is this nagging voice inside her head, telling her that this person is different and maybe these differences will be what makes him the right partner for her.

At the end of their conversation, Alicia agrees to meet Will at Starbucks for a brief encounter. What is the harm in meeting him briefly so if she gets bad vibes about him, she can just leave? Besides, she would be meeting him in a small, public place so he couldn’t do anything weird or dishonest. A woman can’t be too careful in today’s society. What if he turned out to be a weirdo or he tried to force her to do something, she wasn’t ready for? Alicia just couldn’t deal with those kinds of odds, so she decided to play it safe.

Will pulls up to Starbucks in this terrible, green truck. It was awful! Yes, he definitely was not her usual pick. But she decided to go ahead with the meeting to prove to herself that she had tried everything before she officially decided to give up on love.

Then she saw him. He was dressed professionally, and he was tall which was a plus for her. But she wasn’t attracted to him physically. She knew it right away and couldn’t deny that there wasn’t a physical attraction or chemistry for her.

They shook hands which felt a little awkward for her, but maybe he was just being polite. It was hard for Alicia to stop the negative voices inside her head. These voices kept telling her to give up and not to let this thing go any further with Will. But for whatever reason, she sat down with him after ordering her favorite drink, a chai tea latte. Much to her surprise, she enjoyed being in his presence. Will was interesting, had a good personality, and made her laugh. After about an hour or so, she decided it was time to leave. She wanted to process their meeting and analyze the past and present to see if she wanted to move forward. Then it happened. He asked her out to dinner. What was Alicia going to do? Would she take a chance or let him down easily?

Much to her surprise, Alicia accepted his invitation and told him to call her so they could work out the details. Both of them were single parents and she would have to have a babysitter in order to go out on a date with him. They both left without any awkward physical contact, no kiss or hug which was nice for a change. Why push things or get too involved too quickly?

Will did call almost every day. The more Alicia talked to him, the more she began to like him and slowly she let her guard down. She met him for dinner at a nice restaurant and they talked for hours. In fact, they both lost track of time. Then he asked her out again. She agreed and then the kiss happened. It was just a small, innocent kiss but it stirred some chemistry and feelings inside of her. Something she hadn’t felt in a long time.

Their second date was a little more nerve wracking for her because he wanted her to meet all of his friends that worked with him in his office. At first, Alicia was a little taken back by these people that were strangers to her, but friends to him. They were warm and inviting, but it was obvious that they were not her friends, and she didn’t feel comfortable around them. But I suppose she passed his test with his friends with flying colors. Alicia was also quite charming and knew how to mingle. At the end of their date, Will walked her out to her car and the second kiss happened. This time it was more intense and passionate. It stirred more feelings inside of her. He told her that he would call her and wanted to see her again.

Over time this thing with Will became a constant in Alicia’s life. He had slowly worked his way in her life and things were going well for them. Alicia let her guard down and began to fall for Will. It wasn’t what she had planned at the time, but it was happening all the same.

He invited her to his church for a Sunday service. Much to her surprise, Will was quite popular in this church. He had formed many friendships with people in the congregation and they all said positive things about his character as a man, as a Christian, and as a father. Alicia was taken in by these comments and how supportive his church members were of him, and she believed their bond was so strong that they were like family.

She began to go with him to this church, not just for Sunday services but also for other events. Alicia began to blend into this environment and to parts of his life. It became a “we” relationship and it wasn’t just about her and her child, family, or friends anymore.

Alicia and Will lived thirty minutes apart from each other and the thought of living together wasn’t part of their plans. They both enjoyed their space and time apart, but their lives were blending together still the same. They had some disagreements as all couples do that have dated, divorced, or been through parts of life that could be messy. But for the most part, Will and Alicia were getting along and falling in love with each other.

Then Will planned a special weekend for just him and Alicia. She was excited about it because she needed a break from her rigorous working schedule and her life. Besides, she had not been on a romantic getaway in a long, long time. She was looking forward to whatever special events he had planned. Will had been especially secretive about their weekend. He wouldn’t give her any details on where they were going or how to dress for their weekend getaway. So, Alicia packed everything except the kitchen sink. She packed casual clothes and fancy clothes in case he planned on taking her to any nice, fancy places.

Finally, it was the day they were supposed to start this exciting, romantic weekend. Will came to pick up Alicia and decided to blindfold her so she couldn’t see anything about where they were going. It was difficult riding with someone with a blindfold on and no details about where you are going but there was some adventure about this trip as well. Alicia knew she wasn’t getting on an airplane or flying anywhere tropical, but she knew that Will had something special planned.

They arrived at their destination. Will had arranged for the people who worked in this destination to help him with the luggage and surprise of this special occasion. They helped Alicia out of the car and even helped them carry all of their luggage into their room. Then he removed her blindfold. She was in this beautiful, elegant winery and spa resort.

Alicia was surrounded by wine vineyards and beauty and their resort was absolutely breathtaking. She had never been to a winery before and was trying to take in the beauty that this resort had to offer both inside and outside of the resort. The concierge met with them to reveal all the details of their weekend. Much to her surprise, Will had planned a romantic walk through the vineyard, a massage and spa session for both of them together, elegant dinners, and time doing physical activities such as walking, playing tennis, and biking.

Alicia was analyzing all of this and began to think that Will had planned this weekend with something else in mind. She had this stirring feeling in the pit of her stomach that Will was thinking about becoming a family and that he might possibly pop the question over the weekend. Why had he had planned all of this extravagance and romance? Alicia had not been exposed to this in her former relationships and she felt that Will was trying to woo her.

So, Alicia decided not to overanalyze the situation and just wait and see what happened. What was the harm in indulging a romantic, relaxing weekend with a man that she had fallen in love with?

They went to their room and changed for dinner. Dinner was very nice and romantic. Will ordered Alicia’s favorite wine. He ordered her a Muscadine Moscato that was to die for! It added a perfect touch to their steak dinner. Everything was perfect!

The next morning was even better. They woke up early and went downstairs in casual clothes for their spa appointment. Alicia and Will met with their massage therapist and went over the details of their spa appointment. They would go to their separate areas, a special area for women and a special area for men. Then the couple would change their clothes and put on a robe and comfortable slides for a quiet breakfast of Mimosas, cheese, crackers, and fruit. They could sit in a quiet room and eat by a fire and enjoy some time in a sauna before their appointment. Both Alicia and Will would have forty-five minutes of quiet time before their couple’s appointment for a romantic massage.

Finally, it was time for the massage. They were placed next to each other, and the massage began. It was absolutely wonderful and what both of them desperately needed. Will had thought of everything to make the weekend special. After the massage, the couple showered and dressed to walk through the vineyard together. It was nice and quiet and also very relaxing to walk through all these Muscadine vineyards that would eventually be used to make wine. At some point on their journey, Will stopped Alicia and turned her to face him. He got down on his knee and pulled a small box out of his pocket. He opened the box and asked her to marry him. She was shocked, a little terrified, and thrilled with his plan to make the weekend very memorable for both of them. Alicia couldn’t speak for a few minutes, but eventually was able to compose herself to respond to his question. Of course, she said “yes”. He pulled the ring out of the box and slipped it on her finger.

Alicia was on top of the world. The weekend turned out to be romantic and memorable.

On Sunday night, the couple returned back to their homes. It felt surreal that Alicia was now engaged and would be marrying what she thought was a great guy who would love her, her child, and her pets forever. Had she finally found her forever man?

Planning for the wedding started right away. Alicia and Will decided to get married in the same place that Will had proposed to her. They decided on a date and began to start planning everything. They reserved the venue and reception area. After the details had all been planned, Alicia went and bought a beautiful, fitted champagne colored wedding gown. It was an ornate, nontraditional dress with beads, sequins, and pearls all over it. Then she found beautiful shoes that matched the ornate design of the dress and a veil that was long in the back and covered with pearls. She also found a beautiful pearl crown that the veil would attach to.

The plans for the wedding were coming together and the date was quickly approaching. Alicia and Will were spending so much time planning for the wedding that they left out the details of the importance of planning for the marriage.

Finally, the weekend for the wedding arrived. Alicia and Will were both excited and a little nervous. They had both endured long marriages before that didn’t work out. Would this marriage be any different?

The rehearsal with family and friends was tedious, but fun. It was a much-needed break from the seriousness of the next day and the nervousness of the union between two adults and the merging of their family units. The rehearsal dinner was a huge success! The meal was rich, delicious, and there was plenty of food to feed an entire army. Alicia and Will’s family and friends enjoyed their meal and their time together. Everyone was celebrating the union of these two special people.

The wedding celebration was magical! Most everything fell into place. Alicia felt like a beautiful bride again, but this time the marriage would be secure and not crumble like the first one. Alicia’s family had reservations about this marriage but prayed their instincts about Will were wrong. He was well educated and had a great career. He was definitely Alicia’s equal in almost every way, but they felt that something about him was still off. Will had never demonstrated any kind of negative behavior and he was very involved in the church. But her family still felt like something was not quite right about him.

However, they still showed their acceptance of their wedding and marriage.

The wedding and reception were beautiful. Then everyone left and the couple began their honeymoon at the resort. Everything seemed to be perfect for Alicia and Will. They spent time together as a couple and enjoyed the simple, candlelight meals, the outdoor activities, the time at the spa, and the time just being together.

Once the honeymoon was over, the real marriage began.

Alicia moved in with Will. At first, it was not what she was expecting. His home was so different from hers and she couldn’t let go of her home yet. That decision would have to be made at later time. She did move some of her belongings, but not everything.

The first month of their marriage was difficult to say the least. They were trying to learn each other as marriage partners and now roommates. Will began to get frustrated and then his frustration turned to anger and despair. Maybe this was not the marriage he thought he wanted, or Alicia and her son were not the family that he wanted. Something was happening deep inside Will’s conscience that others were not seeing, but they were feeling his discontent.

Will’s personality and happiness were changing. He seemed to always show frustration and anger over little things that most men in love would have ignored or learned to deal with. It was becoming more apparent each day how miserable Will was with Alicia and their marriage.

Alicia could see it and feel it in her being and she was unsure what to do. She found a marriage counselor for the couple to talk to and maybe the marriage counselor could help them. It was such a shame that she had not seen this side to Will before and she had taken vows to love and cherish him for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. Hopefully, the marriage counselor would see what was really going on between the couple and their family and would equip them with some tools for dealing with the difficulties in their marriage.

Finally, the day came for their appointment with the marriage counselor. Right before the appointment while Will and Alicia were waiting in the waiting room, he was very distant and cold towards her. She could sense his aggravation and annoyance with her. The counselor’s door opened, and the couple walked into her office. She was very warm and inviting. She started with some simple questions for the couple and wanted them to share how they fell in love with each other. Will abruptly changed the discussion from focusing on the positive and reminiscing about his love story with Alicia to everything that was wrong with her and her son. For the first time, he opened up about all of his feelings about her and their moving into his home. He was very cold, mean, and uncompassionate. It seemed as if Will absolutely hated her and wanted out of their marriage. As he continued to speak and show his anger towards her, the counselor asked him to take a breath and try to relax. She then asked Alicia about things that Will had shared. As she spoke, she was definitely the more sensible, loving one of the two. She explained every situation and how Will had handled things very poorly. Instead of speaking to her and her son in a respectful and compassionate way, he had been mean and cold-hearted. He demonstrated no tolerance for their need for love, forgiveness, or compassion.

The counselor listened to Alicia and then began to question Will. She asked why he hadn’t shown her or her son any compassion for the change of family and moving into his home. She confirmed his frustrations, but also told him that he should have been more understanding and helpful to his mate and his new family. It was something that Will could no longer stomach. He was done with this marriage. He stormed out of the counselor’s office, mumbling things under his breath.

He told Alicia that he would see her at home and they both got in their vehicles and drove away. The whole ride home, Alicia’s brain kept replaying their time with the counselor. She focused on not just Will’s words, but his body language and his tone. She had a feeling that things had just gone from bad to worse. When she arrived home, Will had gotten there before her. She opened up her door and heard him screaming at her son. She ran in the house and saw Will being violent with her son. He had pushed him into the door and had cornered him like a wounded animal. Alicia was horrified at the sight of all of this, and she ran to her son’s defense. She immediately separated them and stood in front of her son. While Will screamed at her and got in her face so that she could see his anger and hatred for her, she tried to diffuse the situation. Then his anger turned from emotional to physical and he grabbed her by her throat and pushed her into the wall.

While Will held her there, Alicia’s thoughts and life flashed before her eyes and she reflected on their love story. It was like for a few minutes her mind allowed her to leave her body and the fear of the situation she was now in. All of a sudden, she came back into her body and saw the evil of the man she once loved and realized that their marriage was over. She was able to free herself from him and went upstairs to pack all of their belongings. Will, now realizing the seriousness of this situation, went outside and began throwing outside furniture around the yard. He screamed and cussed and then he went into his shed and began throwing tools and other objects out into the yard. Alicia was upstairs with her son and could hear all of this noise from the yard, but she continued to pack. As she packed and cried, she told herself “no more”. No one would ever treat her or her son this way again. After a couple of nerve wrecking hours and with no sign of Will, Alicia held her head up high and walked out of his house.