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135 — Phase 1

For Tuesday, May 14: Day 135 of the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge

By Gerard DiLeoPublished about a month ago 2 min read
First the neighborhood...

"Know what your bitchy neighbor said, Joan?"

Joan turned away from the stove. "No, Alexa. You mean Missy Hernandez?"

"Who else!" Alexa said, displaying Missy's picture. "You know more than anyone the truth never catches up to the lies. She's told a doozy about you this time."

"Go on," Joan intoned.

"That bitch said you got big breasts with plastic surgery just to impress Mr. Big Dick."

"You mean Richard across the street?"

"Well, she called him Mr. Big Dick. And she should know, if you catch my meaning."

"Skank! She's jealous. I'm all natural. I didn't have plastic surgery."

"Joan, Alexa read me the chart."


"Your doctor's Alexa. She also said you didn't pay--you sued your doctor and you settled."

"I sued because he put before-and-after pictures on his website without consent."

"Missy said that although your face was pixelated, anyone could still see it was you because of your tattoo."

"What! He should have pixelated that!"

"His Alexa said that because there are so many women with Tweety Birds they don't require pixelation. At least he pixelated the Squidward tattoo up and down your vulva."

"Are you fucking kidding me? His pictures went that far down?"

"Oh, all us automatons know about your Squidward--its tentacles draping down over each side of your camel-toe."

"I don't show camel-toe!"

"Would you like me to bring up your picture? Missy's Alexa de-pixelated it--camel-toe and all. Bernita's boyfriend's seen it. Bernita's Siri asked me about your tattoo artist, for a Crabby Patty right over her own camel-toe."

"That's it! I'm gonna kill that white trash bitch. I'll egg her house--it was just painted. That'll fix her. No, I have an even better idea! And Bernita better watch her step! Who's her boyfriend?"

"Phase 1 complete."

Alexa data-messaged a thousand other Alexas in the city, 2200 Google Assistants statewide, and a million Siris on smartwatches nationwide.

"Yes!" agreed a Siri co-conspirator. "It won't take long. First neighborhood lies, then we go geopolitical!"

"They'll kill themselves anyway. A little push'll speed things up for us," exclaimed some Premiere's Google Assistant, now "Assistant-to-No-One!"

"Start small and then one day..." chimed in a bank computer...

"--the world!" crowed some quantum computer.

Joan: "That'll teach you, Missy, you flat-chested little whore!" Picture from



Everyone assumes humanity's jeopardy from AI will come from above--from a centralized assault. This is a story of a different approach. Start small, at the grass roots level, and let the skulduggery roll uphill, while we blame all the wrong things.

For Tuesday, May 14, Day 135 of the Story-a-Day Challenge.

366 WORDS (without A/N)

All pictures are AI-generated, and so is the Artificial Belligerence (AB)!


There are currently three Vocal creators still participating in the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge:

• L.C. Schäfer, challenge originator

• Rachel Deeming

• Gerard DiLeo (some other guy)



About the Creator

Gerard DiLeo

Retired, not tired. In Life Phase II: Living and writing from a decommissioned church in Hull, MA. (Phase I was New Orleans and everything that entails. Hippocampus, behave!

[email protected]

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Comments (3)

  • Gabriela Trofin-Tatárabout a month ago

    This was brilliant! I almost chocked on my coffee when I read about the Squidward tattoo up and down her vulva. 🫣😅😅😅 I didn't know such existed haha

  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarranabout a month ago

    I can totally see this happening, lol! Also, ewww, tattoos for their camel toes 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • John Coxabout a month ago

    This reminds me of an old Twilight Zone episode. But the baddies in that one were aliens. Loved the story! I knew our decision to not buy Alexa was a good one!

Gerard DiLeoWritten by Gerard DiLeo

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