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Distraction Game - it's all in the eyes

Originally published in the Poets community for the Dancing with Distraction Challenge, reworked for the Micro Heist Challenge.

By Donna ReneePublished 11 months ago 1 min read
Top Story - June 2023
52
Distraction Game - it's all in the eyes
Photo by Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash

Ready to play?

I cast a devilish smile from across the chaotic bar, towards you but not quite focused... enough to make you wonder if you are the target of my intentions tonight. Enough to give you hope.

In your direction now (you're sure) I wink, smile... and then I sashay, certainly toward you, it seems. Your heart pounds, then I turn aside just before I reach you and greet another hopeful, lonely soul instead. You watch as I place my hand in theirs, lean in close, and tacitly offer more.

As you sigh in sinking disappointment, I peek back over my shoulder, look you up and down, smirk, and bite my lip. Caught you looking again, or did you ever even look away? Don't lie. I know you didn't.

This will be easy, it's my favorite game and you are incapable of resisting. Just like they all are.

Of course, you never even noticed my friend, the forgettable one who bumped against you ever so gently while I held you in the gravity well of my eyes.

No matter, you'll figure it out when you go to close your tab after I disappear.

PsychologicalMicrofiction
52

About the Creator

Donna Renee

Hi! Thanks for reading! My hobbies include making coffee, drinking coffee, and starting to write a story and then rage-deleting it when I get the slightest bit frustrated.

Work in Progress: WOWH, cozy mystery (paranormal elements)

INSTAGRAM

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  2. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

  3. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  3. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  4. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  5. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

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Comments (41)

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  • Jay Kantor6 months ago

    Mz. D - Mizz U'z: fyi ~ Saw your Window-Eyes heading on someone elses story - hate when they do that to me. btw; Would really like to know if you relate to "Baby Mamas" Just 'j'

  • Poppy 10 months ago

    This is awesome. Really cleverly written

  • Jazzy 10 months ago

    Congrats on TS! I don't know how I missed this, but this was great, an I love that you rewrote it to fit the micro heist. It's funny I wrote for the micro heist one similar to this (yours was better!!)! I love that!!!!

  • Test11 months ago

    I'm catching up on some reading since I've been away for a bit. What a great story to come back to! Congrats on the top story! Both this and the original are great.

  • This was just as good as the original

  • Congratulations!

  • Dana Crandell11 months ago

    Congratulations, Donna!

  • We're still just so easy, even after you've pulled it on us once. Hope springs eternal. Chumps spring for nothing, though they might still try to find their wallet.

  • Holly Pheni11 months ago

    This is so well-written, I could envision the entire scene. A scandalous heist and a well-deserved top story! I will read the poem, too.

  • Gina C.11 months ago

    Oh, I love this version, Donna!! 😍😍 Brilliant; congrats on Top Story!! 🤗❤️❤️❤️

  • Ahna Lewis11 months ago

    Love it! Both versions are brilliant! Congrats on Top Story!!

  • Jazmin Fernandez11 months ago

    Beautiful. Congrats on your Top Story.

  • Leslie Writes11 months ago

    Ooh, nice rework! And congrats on the top story! 💖

  • Donna Fox (HKB)11 months ago

    Love the restructuring Donna, this was fun and maniacal. I love the narrative voice you chose, it really gave the story an interesting perspective! Overall a great read! Happy to congratulate you on another fabulous Top Story, love the roll you seem to be on!! 🎉

  • Ian Read11 months ago

    I loved this adaptation, a perfect rework!

  • Shane Dobbie11 months ago

    Where’s my wallet?

  • Dana Crandell11 months ago

    Oh, those clever little minxes and their tactics! Great story, Donna and congratulations!

  • Kelly Dickerson11 months ago

    Excellent🫶🏽 I was engaged and captivated to the end. Keep writing ✍🏽

  • Melissa Ingoldsby11 months ago

    Excellent 💕& very engrossing writing ❤️

  • Cathy holmes11 months ago

    See, it did work! Worked so well, I get to congratulate you. Well done.

  • Gerald Holmes11 months ago

    You had me from the first sentence. Loved it. Congrats on Top Story.

  • Heather Hubler11 months ago

    Congratulations on Top Story!

  • Congratulations on your excellent Top Story, well deserved

  • Paul Stewart11 months ago

    Congrats on Top Story - is the cover picture you from your pickpoketing days? lmao! Anyway, have a few donuts on the house - you deserve them for this gem!

  • Real Poetic11 months ago

    I was sucked into the story from the first line. Amazing job and congratulations on top story!

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