Daring to '2' When Love is Measured in '3's

It was eight weeks ago when Joshua chose to end his marriage to his husband Kyle and his wife, the famous newscaster: Kelly Kluth. (See Part 1.) After he'd asked them for a divorce, Kelly left the room, barely saying a word. Kyle was angry and accusatory.

Then Jemma gently clutched Joshua's arm and urged him to "Ask him."

Kyle growled, “Ask me what?”

Joshua sighed. “I wanted to ask you and Kelly at the same time..." He took a quick drink before continuing, "...but maybe this is for the best. Maybe you can convince her once I convince you.”

Kyle gnashed, “Convince me of what?”

“How would you like to make television history?”

⚡

The Present, October 14, 2016—

Sitting in darkness in the NNC Situation Station, a single spotlight on her flawless face, Kelly Kluth confides to her spellbound fans: “After Josh asked Kyle and I for a divorce, Jemma Slade asked her spouses for a divorce. Riley and Shelby Slade took it badly. They were unabashedly angry.

“Both marriages were dissolved in less than a week. Our home state of New York makes filing for divorce especially easy through an automated e-filing system online.

“People have naturally assumed that Joshua and Jemma were having an affair, but this reporter doesn't believe that to be true. I'm certain they were physically attracted to each other," she shrugged, "but they also had this bizarre belief that they should wait until after they were married to ‘consummate’ their union.

“The interviews that this reporter would eventually conduct with them— that was actually Jemma’s idea, as was the idea of broadcasting their wedding live. On September 18th, we began filming our documentary about Joshua and Jemma’s unconventional decision to legally marry without a third spouse. Never in American history had a binary marriage been televised… and neither had any religious wedding.

“The unprecedented event was set for October 9th, 2016, last Sunday. Joshua and Jemma insisted they be married on a Sunday.

“The interviews I conducted were brutal. This reporter pulled no punches. I brought up every stereotype associated with couplings: small hearts, perverted minds, rebellious wills, narcissistic egos. Once I had pummeled them on the issue of dual marriage, I then attacked their arcane spiritual beliefs. I brought up every stereotype associated with religious fanatics. I accused them of being haughty, judgmental, cruel, and hypocritical. When Joshua quietly suggested that those adjectives suited me more-so than him, I had that footage cut.

“Repeatedly, of course, over and over I accused Joshua and Jemma of being stupid— the most common cliché that atheists believe about believers— even though I knew from our years together that both of them were highly intelligent.

“Looking back on the experience, I’m not proud of the way I handled those interviews. I didn’t realize then how bitter I was about Josh divorcing Kyle and me.

“Death grants painful perspective.

“Over the course of three weeks, the documentary came together.

“Meanwhile, the election heated up, with talk of the Supreme Court decision dominating every political event— both orange and purple.

"Violence against Christians continued to escalate. In Tennessee, teenagers kidnapped a heterosexual couple and took them into the Smokey Mountains to be crucified. In Maine, an old-fashioned Bible-burning ended with two openly Christian men being torched to death.

“During those same September weeks, Joshua and Jemma found a small group of like-minded people—other believers in an Almighty Creator. Only a year ago, the Church of the Newly Awakened first began regular worship services at a secret location here in Manhattan. The group grew slowly. While Christianity was the main focus, eastern philosophy also heavily influenced their ethos. Reincarnation and the law of karma were seen as complimentary to their Gnosticism.

“On the very last day of my interviews with Joshua and Jemma, the news broke that the orange party Presidential candidate had somehow learned of NNC’s intention to broadcast a live religious wedding ceremony. Here at The Kelly Kluth Show, we are still conducting our own internal investigation to determine the source of that leak.

“This reporter was in the studio with Joshua and Jemma when the Presidential frontrunner made his statement at a rally in Dallas, Texas….”

🎦⚡🎦

The scene switched from a live Kelly to a prerecorded orange party candidate standing before a wall of supporters waving signs. Among the placards on display were...

• MAKE AMERICA BI AGAIN!
• MARRIAGE IS A TEAM & A TEAM ISN'T TWO!
• THREEWAYS OR NO WAY!

As always, of course, there was the party's Gold Standard...

• DIVERSITY IS A CODE WORD FOR WHITE GENOCIDE!!

“This is unbelievable,” said the man center stage, “just unbelievable how irresponsible the media is. They’re actually going to televise a religious wedding between a heterosexual couple! Can you believe it?” The crowd booed and hissed and groused. The candidate held out both palms, saying, “I know, right? I mean, what’s next? Snuff films? Celebrity worship tapes? Are they going to start running documentaries on bestiality and call that news too? Where does this madness end?

“It’s insane, this whole idea that a bunch of superstitious mumbo jumbo can substitute for a proper wedding ceremony!" He leaned into the microphone to bellow, "Well, I will certainly put a stop to blasphemies like this when I’m President! I guarantee you that!

“Our current President— who wasn’t even born in this country by the way— he won’t even say ‘radical Christianity.’ But I’ll say it!” He pointed at the ceiling. “We have a radical Christianity problem in this country that’s getting worse and worse every single day! And I’m the only one who can fix it!” His white alliance bellowed their agreement.

The orange candidate kept it moving. “These religious losers think they can shove their pussy talk about love and brotherhood down our throats? Well, I say: fuck 'em! We’re not going to stand for it!”

After two minutes of cacophonous applause, an idea seemed to occur spontaneously to the frontrunner and he blurted it out. “You know what? I’m not going to even wait until November! I’m taking a stance right now! At the same time this sham-wedding takes place, I’m calling for a protest rally! Anyone who believes in the sanctity of a proper bisexual marriage should plan on coming to Manhattan to make their voices heard! We’ll show these ignorant bums what atheist America is all about!”

🎦⚡🎦

Kelly reappears on screen, saying, “After they watched that tirade from the frontrunner, I asked Joshua and Jemma for their reaction.”

Images of the famous/infamous couple are again broadcast. 🎦 Off camera, Kelly asked, “What do you think when you see that? Don’t you think, considering the circumstances, that it might be wise to cancel the wedding? Or at least postpone it?”

“Absolutely not,” Joshua said emphatically. “We will not be intimidated! We won’t let these harriers win. This protest— the staging of it, the when and where of it, it’s the action of a bully, cheered on by other bullies!”

Jemma was quick to add, “They aren’t bad people. They just make mistakes because they don’t understand God.”

Bemused, Kelly asked them, “Do you two understand God?”

Joshua answered for both of them. “No. No one truly does. But we understand the message of Jesus— one of Brotherly Love— and by following in His footsteps, we believe we find favor with God. When we are compassionate and peaceful and forgiving, we grow.”

🎦⚡🎦

Kelly reappears on her lonely, blue-lit stage to continue her story. “They proceeded with the wedding as planned. Joshua knew both Kyle and I would be covering the event from the Situation Station. Jemma invited her ex-spouses, but they didn’t attend. There were only eighteen people inside the church, besides our three-man NNC news crew. Over one-hundred-thirty million people watched live on television.

“Simultaneously, almost 90,000 people gathered in Central Park for the orange candidate’s protest rally.

“At the top of this broadcast (Part 1). I began tonight’s special edition of The Kelly Kluth Show by calling the events of October 9th a ‘disaster’. I consciously chose the word ‘disaster’ because it was exactly that to me.

"I haven’t slept a night since without having nightmares.

“Here now, again, is the unedited footage from last Sunday afternoon….”

🎦⚡🎦

3pm EST, Sunday, October 9th, 2016—

The organist played Here Comes the Bride, a tune traditionally used in male-centric threeway marriages. Jemma looked resplendent in her elegant white gown with its long lacy train. She wore white carnations in her hair. A white veil hid her face. Normally it would be the father (or fathers) of the bride who would give her away, but in this instance, Jemma walked down the aisle alone. Sadly, all three of her parents had disowned her because of her ‘unconventional lifestyle.’

The configuration of this so-called ‘church’ seemed odd to average Americans, with its middle aisle splitting apart only two sections, a side for a single groom’s family, and a side reserved for a single bride’s loved ones. Neither section was color-coded, like in a conventional wedding hall. There were just five people on the groom’s side and only nine in the bride’s section, including one bisexual trio.

Kelly whispered over the organ music, “And now, inside the Newly Awakened Church, a Christian leader called a ‘minister’ is about to perform this unorthodox wedding ceremony.”

The CNN announcer voice warned...

"Parental Discretion is advised!"

Joshua and Jemma beamed at each other, ecstatic in their love. The minister was a square-jawed golden-haired fellow wearing a snazzy black suit. In a resounding voice, he proclaimed, “Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today in the sight of God to add our best wishes and blessings to the words which shall unite Joshua and Jemma in holy matrimony.

“Marriage is a sublime adventure, the beginning of a new life, a mutual opportunity for great personal and spiritual growth. It is love that brought Joshua and Jemma together today. It will be love that will make this a glorious union that will forever endure.

“In acknowledgement of his Holy purpose, let us pray.”

“‘Prayer’,” Kelly whispered to her largely clueless audience, “is when people think they are talking directly to God.”

“Gracious Lord,” said the minister, his eyes shut, “Spirit of Life and Love, we ask that you bless this union of Joshua and Jemma. Help them to find a haven together, a sacred place where their hearts will flourish. Bind their souls together with love, on this joyous occasion when two become one! Let the radiant light of their love shine bright on all those around them, today and forevermore! Be with us all, our Lord, these witnesses, as we rejoice in what is said and seen here.

“We ask this in Jesus’ name…”

Eighteen said as one, “AMEN.”

“And now,” whispered Kelly in a voice-over, “Joshua and Jemma will recite what they call ‘vows’, which is essentially an antiquated word for ‘promises.’”

The happy couple took each other’s hands as Joshua recited, “I, Joshua, take you, Jemma, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do we part, according to God’s holy ordinance.”

Then Jemma declared the same, beginning with, “I, Jemma, take you, Joshua, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do we part, according to God’s holy ordinance."

The square-jawed golden-haired minister was smiling with unbridled delight as Joshua and Jemma exchanged vows. Now he said, “The Bible tells us, in 1 Corinthians 13 that, ‘Love is patient, love is kind. It…’”

A second shrunken scene appeared, a picture within the picture. The smaller screen showed an outside live feed from the streets of Manhattan, where a group of thirty or forty people were marching en masse, several armed with tire irons. A few more carried modified baseball bats; the sawed-off heads of other bats had been strapped on with barbed wire to create crosses.

Kelly reported, “This second shot is of a group of protestors that have apparently left the orange candidate’s rally in Central Park. They are approaching Columbus Avenue, headed west down 107th Street toward the undisclosed location of our live remote broadcast! As you can see, many of these people are armed with barbaric handmade weapons.

“The location of this wedding has been kept a well-guarded secret. How these protestors cracked that secret is anybody’s guess at this point.

“And now, yes, we have confirmed from our reporter at the ceremony that the New York City police contingent that was assigned there today is currently headed toward this mob. Hopefully, they will be able disperse them, or at least delay them until this ceremony is over and the participants can be shuttled away.

“Now let’s go back inside the Newly Awakened Church where, I believe, this bizarre ritual is about to wrap up… not a moment too soon.”

The golden-haired square-jawed minister joyfully announced, “In accordance with the law of the state of New York, by the authority committed unto me as a Minister of the Newly Awakened Church, I declare that Joshua and Jemma are now husband and wife!

"Whom therefore God has joined together, let no one put asunder!

“The grace of Christ attend you, and the love of God surround you, the Holy Spirit keep you, that you may live in faith, abound in hope, and grow in love, both now and forevermore. Amen!

“You may kiss the bride!”

Joshua did exactly that on one side of a split screen. On the other side, police and protestors clashed. Seeing the cops were equipped with riot gear, including shields, some of the mob broke away and fled. Others began screaming angrily. Law enforcement advanced slowly. Bricks and bottles were thrown.

Just as police fired the first tear gas canisters into a worsening situation, just as the minister was about to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Martin to the world for the first time, an explosion could be heard off camera. People screamed. Smoke billowed. The reporter on the scene shouted as if he couldn’t hear himself: “The front doors of this building have just been blown to bits by some kind of detonation!”

As several women continued to screech, a group of masked men burst into the sanctuary. The leader seemed to be a burly man in a black hoodie who wore a half-mask over his upper-face, like a Batman cowl. He was the only invader carrying a gun and it was a big one: a .357 magnum. He pointed the enormous weapon first at the reporter, shouting, “You shut up,” and then he pointed it at the cameraman, yelling, “And you keep shooting!”

Joshua and Jemma were clutching each other tight, as were other couples who were witnesses. “All of you,” shouted the gunslinger, “get up against the wall!”

More thugs rushed forward to knock down the minister’s podium, spilling a Bible onto the floor. Nearly a dozen goons crowded into the chapel, all of them wearing hooded masks, black attire, and leather gloves.

Back in the Situation Station, Kelly Kluth struggled not to panic. “Somebody needs to call the police! The police need to get back there right now!”

Off camera, one of Kelly’s staffers could be heard to say, “The circuits are overloaded! We can’t get through!”

The police who had been at the church were now all distracted by the mob filling the intersection of Amsterdam Avenue and 107th Street. Meanwhile, less than a block away, inside the Church of the Newly Awakened, the faithful were being lined up along a wall. Kelly and the rest of America seemed to simultaneously become aware that all the hooded ruffians were wearing backpacks as they slung them off their shoulders and unzipped them. The usually unflappable Ms. Kluth rasped, “Oh, no, no, no! They’ve got more guns!”

In fact, they were not packing more guns. They were carrying rocks.

The man-with-the-magnum shouted, “So where’s your God today, Joshua?” Kelly gasped audibly. “Where is He? Let’s see how capable He is of protecting you now!”

As the world watched, Joshua tried to be a human bulwark for Jemma, turning his back to their attackers, wrapping his beloved in his arms, shielding her with his body. A rock was thrown that hit him hard in the right kidney. He shrieked. An instant later, a speeding rock broke his right shoulder and he shrieked again.

“Hey, hey, hey!” The leader turned on his compatriots, shouting, “Cut that shit out! I said he was mine!” After shoving his gun into his belt, he rolled up his sleeves before proceeding, taking his time. Bulging muscles writhing with snakes and skittering with scorpions, the burly man in the black hoodie looked directly into the camera and smiled.

“Oh sweet Darwin!” Kelly was clutching her throat as if she was being strangled. “I know who that is! I know who that—!”

Kyle killed Kelly’s microphone, cutting her off mid-scream.

The murder weapon that Riley Slade pulled out of his hoodie pouch was as big as a softball and almost as round. As Jemma began to pray and Joshua whimpered from pain, Riley wound up the pitch like a major league wannabe.

He threw the basalt with all his strength, bashing in the back of Joshua’s skull.

That was the signal for the other hoods to join in.

The concepts within the Bible were new to most Americans, no more familiar than those in the Koran or the Bhagavad Gita. In recent months, the atheist citizens of the United States had learned about the horrors of crucifixions. Now, on live television, they bore witness as fourteen people were stoned to death.

It took just one minute and six seconds to murder them all.

Joshua fell on top of Jemma, as if even his corpse was trying to shelter her. Jemma screamed and other people were screaming too. Blood splattered and pooled.

Even after their victims fell, the jeering mob continued to pelt them with rocks.

“That’ll teach you scumbags! That’ll teach you twisted hetero bastards!”

“Heteros are an abomination!”

“Make America Bi Again!”

Suddenly a hooded fat man with a cinder block rushed up to where the bride lay weeping. Hugging Joshua’s body close, Jemma could barely be heard as she said, “Forgive them, Father. They know not what they do.”

The cinder block was heaved high over the fat man’s head and brought crashing down on Jemma’s face, ending her life. Raising his hands in victory, the fat man started dancing a wiggly jig, cackling uproariously. (Except for the stunned NNC news team), everyone still living in the church whooped and hooted and cheered.

That was when the live feed was terminated.

The screen was no longer split. It now only showed the intersection of Amsterdam Avenue and 107th Street, where New York City’s Finest seemed to have rapidly brought that situation under control.

The bottom scrawl now read: BREAKING NEWS: NUMEROUS PEOPLE STONED TO DEATH ON LIVE TV—NNC EXCLUSIVE!

⚡

The Here and Now—

“As you probably know,” said Kelly Kluth, “this reporter was absent for the rest of my show that terrible day. Rolf Kreeger filled in for me here in the Situation Station.

“This is my first time back on the air since the funerals.

“I will now make my one and only statement concerning Riley Slade…

“Riley Slade was my step-brother. For a brief time when I was a child, my parents split up, only to reconcile their differences a year later. During their break-up, Riley was born to my father’s mistress. I didn’t even learn of Riley’s existence until I was twenty-two-years-old, when my father revealed his secret to me on his deathbed.

“Riley was the college roommate of Kyle Pendleton and Joshua Martin, my future husbands. I think that’s what they call ‘fate.’

“Over the years, Riley and I had a tumultuous relationship. Politically, we were polar opposites. And over the course of this last year, this election kindled a fury in Riley that just kept growing hotter and hotter.

“But none of us who knew Riley— none of us ever suspected that my step-brother secretly harbored homicidal intentions.

“What Riley Slade did was a premediated act. He was the one that leaked information on Facebook to the crowd in Central Park, goading some of the more militant orangutans to provide him with the perfect distraction for the police.

“Riley knew I would be watching. He was counting on it! He knew I’d recognize him. He wore a half mask but then showed off his tattooed arms. He even smiled into the camera… right before he murdered my ex-husband.

“As he awaits trial, Riley has become a celebrity to a poisonous plethora of various hate groups. He’s become a hero to those who call for a violent solution to the Christian corruption of atheist American values. Riley is convinced that he won’t be convicted by a jury of his peers. And he knows if he is convicted, he’ll become a martyr. If you aren’t familiar with that word, look it up. You’ll appreciate the irony.

“Riley Slade is driven by a desire for publicity… which is why I am now forever done talking about him.”

Kelly turns to face a different direction, a different camera now shooting her somber face from a different angle. “Five days ago, a man I dearly loved, the woman he loved, and twelve other innocent people were stoned to death because of their beliefs. Four more good people were maimed for life. I’m now convinced they all suspected this might happen and yet they went ahead with their ceremony anyway.

“Listen again to my ex-husband in his own words…”

On tape, 🎦 Kelly said to Joshua, “Don’t you understand that the very idea of your wedding is infuriating to traditional mainstream Americans? People are incensed by your willingness to be so open about this. You seem unashamed to commit your love to just a single person. You are equally unabashed about believing in God. This brazenness of yours could get you hurt— physically hurt. You’ve received death threats.”

“Many,” interjected Joshua.

“Aren’t you concerned your stiff-necked pride will get you killed?”

“This has nothing to do with pride,” said Joshua. “We believe pride is a sin.” He grinned. “A ‘sin’ is a bad thing, in case you are unfamiliar with the term.”

The Kelly-of-the-past pressed them: “You didn’t answer the question! What purpose does any of this serve if it gets you killed?”

“God’s will be done,” said Jemma, a sentiment unfathomable to Kelly and her viewers.

Joshua clarified, “Of course, we’d like to live a long life together. We’re not suicidal. What we are is dedicated and unafraid!”

“Besides,” Jemma said with a smile, “if our time is cut short in this incarnation, there will be others. Our souls are eternal.”

Joshua seemed to be trying to appeal to the scientist in Kelly when he said, “Energy cannot be destroyed, only transformed…”

⚡

The Situation Station, Now—

“Joshua and I had a final moment together,” says Kelly Kluth, “after the interviews were done, after the cameras were shut off. What was said— I intend to keep it private. But I will confess that I never loved Josh more than I did that last time he hugged me.”

⚡

The Situation Station, A Lifetime Ago—

Joshua went up to Kelly, cornering her alone without Jemma and without Kyle. He was worried about her.

He told his ex-wife, the first woman he ever loved, “When this is over, if” when “something happens to us, they’ll accuse you of using us.”

Her brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“If” when “we’re killed, they’ll say this documentary was exploitative. They might even say you're responsible for getting us killed.”

She grabbed his arm, her eyes blazing. “Stop talking that way! You and Jemma are about to start a whole new life together! Why are you thinking about dying?”

“You aren’t using us,” he insisted. “In fact, we are using you to spread the gospel. And for all the grief that will cause you, and all the other grief I’ve caused you over the years, I am truly sorry.”

They hugged each other. Then, studying his face as if she was seeing it for the first time, she said, “You really aren’t afraid, are you?”

He smiled. “Nope. No matter what happens, Jemma and I will be together. So what’s there to be afraid of?”

As he left the NNC studios, he prayed that Kelly would one day seek God herself. To Joshua, that was the equivalent of hoping she would one day discover true happiness.

⚡

⚡

The Final Now—

Kelly Kluth gives the postscript to her special (personal) report...

“Throughout this interminably long year, so much of what we have heard has been fear-driven. People fear for their lives. People fear for their jobs. People fear for their property. People fear for their rights. People fear for their grandchildren’s future.” Kelly sighs.

“I didn’t realize how fearful I was until I witnessed true courage.

“During this special broadcast tonight, I have said ‘I’ more times than ever in my career. In the past, I have always hidden behind the phrase: ‘this reporter.’ That was purposeful. That was calculated. It was rooted in my own insecurities, my own fear. It was a way for me to maintain distance. Because that’s what I do: maintain my distance.

“Is it just me? Or do we all maintain our distance from our fellow man?

"Is it any wonder we are so divided?

“Well, you know what?” The camera comes in even closer, clearly showing the tears in the blonde reporter’s pretty eyes. “I am going to fight my fear, one day at a time! And I’ll start by openly saying a prayer tonight that others will also be inspired by these loving men and women who were always peaceful and brave, even when faced with violent bigotry.

“For NNC, I am Kelly Kluth.”

⚡

Three Months Later—

“Paparazzi shot these photographs today of Kelly Kluth entering the Second Newly Awakened Church on the Upper East Side of Manhattan where she presumably attended Christian services today! OLN— your foxy Old-Liner Network is bringing you all the deets on this shocking⚡ controversy…!”

🙏

I hope you enjoyed this jaunt to an alternate reality of strange bedfellows! ❤️, Subscribe, or Pledge if you are so inclined. All would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you kindly for your readership.

__________________Bolt ⚡