Cragfast
For the Snow Micro Challenge
They say the mountain can send you loopy. The air is thinner, the terrain is uncertain. It does something to your head.
The trouble is there is a certainty lurking between rocks and down drops, and it dogs your every step.
That's why Danny is frozen to the spot. He can't go on, and he can't go back. He's overcome with impending doom in all directions. This is the only relative safe spot, so he keeps it, scanning the grey and white vista for signs of help approaching.
Cold seeps through his expensive gear.
When I start to feel warm, that's when I'll know I'm a goner.
He should've been back at a normal altitude long since, but he got separated from the group. Were they still pushing on? Surely they'd noticed his absence. Had they stopped to look for him? Or gone back for help? Maybe they'd abandoned the ascent in the face of the snowstorm.
He hunches over to hold warmth in. Thinks of his cosy bones, deep inside his body. It doesn't stop his teeth chattering.
How long has it been?
He hums a tune, but it sounds funereal so he stops. He beats his arms about his torso, and is overcome with a panic that the movement will set off an avalanche, so he stops that, too.
The sun-glare off the snow hurts his eyes and burns his face.
Sleepy, he removes his coat and lies down on the soft white blanket.
Just for a moment.
About the Creator
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Comments (16)
Another "Everest" vignette. (The movie continues to haunt me.)
So we'll executed! Loved it
Uh oh, I don’t think it was going to be good for him in the end. Love these descriptions, how when he feels warm, that’s when he’s done. This was so good, so scary, felt real, felt cold, excellent job!
I watched a rescue show the other week and it talked about how folk got stuck in the mountains unable to move up or down. I hadn’t heard the expression cragfast until then. I’d have just said paralyzed with fear!! You did a great job with this.
Compelling story beautifully told. Well done
Just for a moment.
This is excellent, and terrifying. Well done.
The moment that lasts longer than you can imagine
Very nice! You have a wonderful talent! ❤️
Oh bother. Nicely done. Your writing is so effortless as a reader.
Nice word, by the way.
Great story! And I learned a new word!
Good stuff. I hope he gets rescued. The only view someone wants at the top of a mountain is peaks, not someone past theirs. Sorry. That was flippant and a bit cruel.
A worthy competitor for ‘To Light a Fire’ by Jack London. Although I do not have any experience with altitude sickness, I have a lot of experience with severe, cold weather. His circumstances feel authentic and dire. Well done!
Wow, I really enjoyed this. You wrote this in such a way that I was the one trapped and waiting for rescue or death. Then you punch me with the finale
a/n: "cragfast" is when you are stuck, unable to go up and unable to go back. This is listed in some dictionaries as being literally physically stuck, but it can also be psychological; a type of shock. Thank you for reading!