Company Policy
A Chat Fiction Written From Experience With A Bit Of Licence
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Customer Service: "Hello, How Can I Help"
Customer: "My phone has stopped working, I've only had it for two weeks, it's the latest model, and it has just stopped. I need a replacement, NOW"
Customer Service: "I'm so sorry, can you tell me what happened"
Customer: "I went to sleep last night and I use it as my alarm. In fact, I use it for everything, banking, news, watching videos and listening to music, oh and phone calls and texts as well"
Customer Service: "Well according to my screen you are calling us from the number on your phone. Are you sure it's not working?"
Customer: "I took the SIM out and put it into an old Nokia so I could call you"
Customer Service: "You do know that taking the SIM out of your phone invalidates the guarantee"
Customer: "That is bullshit, I can use the SIM in any phone I want. The SIM is a separate entity. The phone is just a device for sending and receiving communications via the SIM"
Customer Service: "Did you not read the Terms and Conditions when you took out your contract that included the phone? Page seven 7.10 states 'Removal of the SIM removes all your rights on this contract'"
Customer: "No I didn't read it, and I am a solicitor, and that clause is actually illegal. It needs to be reasonable and all you are doing with that is cheating the customer. If you do not send me a replacement phone, then you will be receiving a summons and newspapers will be informed"
Customer Service: "I will speak to my manager and arrange a new handset for you on their authorisation"
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Manager: "You arranged a replacement handset? Our handsets cannot be seen to fail. He must have broken it. Your response was not acceptable and your employment is terminated"
Customer Service: "But the phone was a brick, we may be on the end of a court case if we don't replace it. Also, you cannot sack me for doing my job, that is illegal, and if you do you will be getting a summons from me"
Manager: "You misunderstand, it's not just your employment that is terminated, you are to be terminated as well. And when you have been executed our man will visit the customer and deal with him in the same way. This company can never be seen to fail for any reason, and tomorrow you and the customer will never have existed.
Security, remove and dispose of the Custome Service person, then take the same action with the customer who rang in to complain."
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About the Creator
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Comments (5)
I believe I've dealt with this company before. Which would explain one of my favorite responses to the question, "How are you?" "I'm not. I don't exist. I'm a figment of your imagination. Boy, do you have a lousy imagination! This is the best you could do????"
Whoaaaaa, what kinda phone company is this? It's sooooo scary!
It can feel that way!
Fantastic and Relatable π―β₯οΈβοΈπππ
Like the twist