I was in the middle of the market place where I was hanging 4 traitors to my glorious empire. “You 4 were scene stealing from the treasury, assisting the Australian federation and worst of all water theft , how do you plead?” “I plead innocent you emporer Alo have subjugated the citizens, separated families, caused wars that have claimed countless lives. Yet you stand accusingly at us for giving freedom back to the people” at that I ordered the guards to bind their mouths and have them feathered and tarred, I then had them hung and I personally lit them on fire with a torch as they were hanging. The citizens seeing this were enraged and a arrow shot me in the back as I collapsed.
When people are born some say that god created a new soul other day your a old soul in a new body. For me though it’s the latter. Before I died I had it all power, control, woman, money & respect. I conquered country after country and forced them to my will, I’ve killed many a king both righteous and evil. I believed that by taking land from my enemies was the right thing to do, but now I’m on deaths door I can see my atrocities laid bare. Through out my reign I committed genocide 5 different times, I lied and spread propaganda against my political rivals and kingdoms. Through my command the sons of the former United States were just pigs to slaughter as they cried for their lives as the marksmen shot them 1 by 1. The women and children were kept alive to be absorbed by the empire.
As I lay dying I see the souls of all I have trampled and maimed waiting for me. I deserve this for those who cause immense suffering deserve suffering in life or in death. May the devil take my wretched soul and those i have ruined May they find salvation as I sink into darkness.
Just as my soul was fading a beam of light showered over me. The multiple colors so mesmerizing so peaceful that I barely noticed the faint hardly noticed the soft yet deep voice call out my name “Alo Tomu emporer of the Maya-Aztec empire you have committed murder, theft, arson, abuse, nepotism, and worst of all murder of one’s own kin but you repent for what you have done. If you truly feel guilty for what you have done then you must live as they did, you must work from the sweat of your brow and pay respect to the empire. Failure to do so and you will be cast into the deepest layer of hell” I do not see I feel the presence of god even though I persecuted and burned his followers he is willing to give me a second chance I whisper “oh lord why do you show a man such as myself mercy?”
Within a instant I was surrounded by darkness and I hear a man say in a rushed tone “push” a woman screams then I feel a hard snack on my backside i then go to tell who ever hit me that I’ll have their head but it came out like a babies cry. I was then washed on water and wrapped in a cloth the first thing I see one of the women I captured who’s husband I had burned at the steak. The guilt was so heavy on my heart I begin to cry but my sobbing was smothered by her breasts and I fell asleep feeling safe for the moment.
Comments (1)
Wow, nice work! I like the setting, and seeing the end of one life as the beginning of another is an interesting concept for the start of a book. As a critique I would suggest rereading your work back to yourself, it will help with the spelling and punctuation which sometimes jumps out a bit. As a literary advice, I'd suggest, given that this is a 1st person POV, add colourful emotional language. For example a "gut wrenching realization" or maybe "a lingering bitterness welled up inside him as he thought of..."