A Plumeria to Remember

I brought a plumeria with me today.

Sitting at the spot. You know the spot. Where we would sit. Where the sea air catches against the palms and filters down the long fronds and we would feel the chills course through our bodies. As I feel those chills flow through my body and shiver, I remember. I remember it like it was yesterday, the first time we sat there. The first time I reached over to you and pulled you in close to rest your head against my body. To warm you.

It was a short courtship really, by modern standards, but we knew. Didn't we?

That was the day I knew.

That day and that spot have always been important.

That was the first time you took the beautiful plumeria behind your right ear and placed it behind your left ear.

I brought a plumeria with me today.

The spot where we would look out to the sea. The spot where we would look out to the sea and imagine the adventures we could have. The adventures we should have had. Now, they are but memories, memories that are slowly disappearing from my slowly deteriorating mind.

I wish I could hold onto them forever.

You tamed me. I was a wild and uncontrollable thing before you came into my life. Full of anger, madness and uncertainty. You calmed me, claimed me and showed me love I did not know was possible. I had heard about it, read about it, but never really truly experienced it until I met you.

We had a good run, didn't we? It was a simple life, sure, but a good one. I know we both had our ups and downs and it was not always a bed of roses. Is anything in this life? When it came down to it, we were soulmates.

Perfect in its imperfection. While it's natural to have regrets about what we could have done and probably should have done, I am glad we shared this beautiful life together. Our life.

I brought a plumeria to remember.

The laughter and love we shared. Beautiful, raw and pure.

A life that is now memories in my mind. Memories I want to cling onto forever, but don't really know if I can.

That is why I am here at our spot, I think. That is what led me here. Thoughts of you. It's always that way. All paths lead back to you in my mind.

How many years has it been now? 10...15? I am not really sure, if I'm honest. Is that a terrible thing? Not remembering when the love of your life was cruelly snatched away from you by Death's crooked hands. Seems impolite at the very least. I am sure you'd laugh at that part. I miss your laughter. On the darkest days, that bright smile that could light up the world and beyond, is not there and it's so hard to go on.

So, I find myself at the spot. You know the spot. Our spot. At least I think it's our spot. My...memory is not what it used to be, I'm afraid. Seriously, I'm afraid that one day I will wake up and completely forget who I am. I fear it's already started. I want to cling on to the memories of you, us, myself.

That is why I brought a plumeria with me today.

Although I miss you terribly and know you would make me feel a million times better if you were here, I wouldn't want to burden you with what's on the horizon. No adventures in boats, no adventures across the sea. Only troubled waters lay ahead for me. In many ways, I'm glad you are shielded from it. I know you too well and know you would do every last thing in your power to ensure I was safe and well looked after.

This is a road I must take alone and I am, in many ways, happy you are at peace and do not have the trauma, the anxiety that I am now facing everyday.

I keep hold of this plumeria, to help me remember. I don't know how long I will be able to do it though.

I don't know how long it will be before I wake up and suddenly, the petals are blowing in the wind.

I brought a plumeria today to help me remember, but now, it has blown from my hand and is scattered in the wind.

*

Thanks for reading!

Author's Notes: 750 words on the dot. This is my (potentially first) entry into Mackenzie's latest challenge. You can find out more about it here:

I enjoyed this challenge and may well put forward another piece for it. The picture that Davina submitted and I was selected to take inspiration from, at first, flummoxed me a little. I am not one to back down from a challenge though, and wanted to play by the rules and stick with what I have.

I also decided to go against my usual thought process of murder and mayhem and stuff and wanted to try something gentler...but still unsettling...and sad in a different way.

As I didn't know too much about plumeria, I did some research and realised their significance and connections to Hawaiian and Polynesian traditions (among other things) so took inspiration from that.

Thank you to Mackenzie for the awesome challenge and thank you to Davina Zinn McKee for a beautiful picture to work with. I hope I did it at least some kind of justice.