Where are you eating tonight?

The sad thing about winter?

Picnics are hanging out with the bears and the groundhogs. Five months of slumber party, without the party. And a long five months it is.

Summer however... who does not appreciate a warm summer day, right? As soon as it hits 5℃, my wife and I are OUT. Indeed, we are out of the closet, though that has nothing to do with the weather. But also out on our garden chairs sipping on a blonde, patiently waiting for the snow to melt. Because picnics.

Picnics are on top of the list when it comes to summer. I rarely get excited, but picnics awake the dusty enthusiasm within me.

First, because it involves food.

Second, because the outdoors makes the said food taste so much better. I don't know, there is something about sitting rather uncomfortably on that ragged Pocahontas blanket while ants raid your improvised dining spot to get to the crispy squares that makes the whole eating thing all the more delightful.

If you are not familiar with the word picnic (may I ask, where have you been?), it is essentially a meal that is packed and taken on an adventure before being enjoyed rather than dropped on a table and eaten inside the oh-so-exciting dining room.

First things first.

Where are you eating?

The answer to this might affect your menu selection.

If you can handle eating in less-than-desirable conditions, any place can be turned into a picnic patch — at the top of a mountain, lost in the woods, in the back of a pickup truck, on a lake, by a lake, in a backyard, at a park, on a trampoline, in a bathroom stall at a Wal-Mart... allow yourself to eat wherever, get out of your comfort zone!

Food wise, possibilities are endless.

And by endless, I mean infinite options are available.

Just think of salads. How many different salads can you make with romaine lettuce as the main ingredient? Orzo? Lentils? Carrots?

I told you.

Endless. Countless.

The world is your oyster.

The sky's the limit.

You get the point.



"What are we eating?"

Oh, the depressing question has shown up yet again.

"I'm terrible at making decisions."

I hear you.

Really. If I had to qualify myself as an expert in a particular field, poor decision-making would be it.

But I did my homework, and here I am to help you in the process. I narrowed the list down. Just a tiny bit.

Easy snacks :

• Potato chips. A piece of cake indeed.

• Fruit jumble. Dice any fruits and toss into a bowl. Throw a fistful of chocolate chips on top. Guaranteed to satisfy the healthiest of sweet tooth.
• Cheese curds. Best eaten fresh, cheese curds are embarrassingly moist, and they will relentlessly squeak and squeak and squeak between your fingers and teeth. I agree, there is nothing fancy about them, not even their name. One more reason for a bag to be part of your next picnic outing!

• Fried chicken. Fried chicken with a side of radioactive green coleslaw eaten with useless plastic cutlery. If I could give you one advice – do not forget to pack the baby wipes.

• Stuffed eggs, also know as deviled eggs. While they do stink, they are also a classic for any party including Christmas celebrations, post-funeral receptions... and picnics. Dust the halves with smoked paprika, it makes them look fancier.

• Corn on the cob. If you have access to a fire pit, try elevating your corn on the cob experience. You might forget boiled water ever existed.

Elaborate snacks :

• Short on time and want to keep it simple? Sandwiches are the answer.

And no, I am not referring to the vintage orange-crusted mock chicken trapped in sticky white bread slices smeared with cheap yellow mustard, maybe topped with a leaf or two of floppy lettuce if your chef felt wildly healthy (or a slice of processed cheese product if they felt wildly unhealthy).

Downright outrageous.

Let me introduce you to Italian sandwiches. They will make you think twice about sharing. Don't believe me? Put your baloney aside and give these garnished breads the praise they deserve.

• Your taste buds are begging for Mexican food?

Homemade tortillas are a staple! Add sweet BBQ sauce to a batch of pulled jackfruit, top with pickled onions, carrots and cabbage, sprinkle a few cilantro leaves… yes, my mouth is watering too!

Another Mexican favorite : tortillas chips and my own twist on pico de gallo. Ripe tomatoes, dry shallots, garlic, apple cider vinegar, Himalayan salt, black pepper and a bag of thin tortilla chips.

Add a side of guacamole and you will soon be in heaven.

• How about tapas night?

Tapa is the Spanish word for appetizer or snack. It can be cold, warm or hot, but is typically salty.

Patatas bravas. This is a fun one to vocalize, patatas bravas. Say it with me! PA-TA-TASSS BRA-VAASSS. As my wife would say, this is like the Spanish version of a poutine. But really, they're fried potatoes with spicy sauce and garlic mayonnaise and it sounds as good as a poutine.

Try focaccia bread lathered with olive tapenade, pan con tomate (tomato spread on bread) or prosciutto e melone (cantaloupe wrapped in Italian ham). If you want to make it a classic night in Spain, treat yourself to a Fino sherry.

• Not a great cook or simply don't want to bother making a few nibbles? Make a quick stop at a take-out place and bring a drink or two along.

Our go-to? Good old pizza and beer.

Next, head to the nearest beach and make yourself at home.

I agree that some of these can be quite messy.

But really, what is life without a bit of a mess?

What to pack, you ask me?

Here are a few of the basics for a great picnic experience.

• Something to sit on, wether it be camping chairs or a blanket. If you are heading to a place where rocks or tables are available, I would not even bother.
• Metal cutlery. Skip the plastic forks and knives – they are a pain and an enemy of the environment. Also, bamboo plates are trendy, but reusable plastic one will do the job just fine.
• Paper towels and wet wipes. These are always handy, especially if kids are present to the party.
• A plastic bag to bring your garbage bag if there is no bin available.
• Beverages. Inebriant or not, I would suggest to avoid any glass containers for this kind of activity as they are quite heavy and fragile. Consider using stainless steel or BPA-free plastic bottles to transfer the liquids in. If that is too much of a hassle, splurge on some canned drinks!
• Food. Clearly. Whatever you do, do not forget to pack the food.

Now I think you have enough of a lead to make the most out of your picnic outing, and it is time for us to part ways – my backpack is home to a container of vegan cheeses and a bottle of Parés Baltà, and my wife is waiting for me holding a French baguette right on the front porch.

Bon appétit friends!