The Perfect Feast

Admit it, the moment you read the challenge name, your mind most likely went either to chips or chicken wings. Even the description has spicy wings as an option, along with chips and dip! I know for certain that if anyone ever invites me over for a game day, they always have some form of chicken wings out for all to feast upon with a plethora of chips and dips on the side. With so many different options to chose from, you can never go wrong with either option. So, why not do both? Let us begin with our main course.

Whether you like them grilled, fried, or smothered in sauce, there is something about having wings and chips that always makes me feel more at home. Even if its during an intense game of 'who can hold the ball the longest' or 'keep the ball off the ground' that is aired on live television, these snacks always remind me of my friends and family. We share the savory smells and tastes together while smack talking those who are on the opposite team. We raise the half eaten mini drumstick in the air in victory when a touchdown is scored. Heck, if it really gets fierce, they become the fun-sized clubs we all have pretended them to be. However, in the end, each game day or get together always ends will full stomachs and smiling faces.

However, there are specifics to what I would consider "The Perfect Array" when it comes to game day feasts. First off, you must always have barbeque wings. I'm not talking simple lousy wings covered in barbeque sauce. No, I mean fresh off the grill, dripping with juice and sauce, filled with that smoky flavor barbeque wings. Three different seasonings as well! Hickory smoked, honey barbeque, and the ever so famous traditional with a sprinkle of brown sugar mixed in. With these three at the front of the line, you'll have every red-neck from the deep south-east end of Texas drooling at your front door (I can say that as my whole family has been born and raised down here, and they all agree).

Next in the line should be the next go-to wing choice. The infamous 'melt your face off' favorite: buffalo! You cannot have an official game day feast without a tray or two of these on the table. For unknown reasons, the human race has always had the urge to eat flaming hot objects, whether it be swords lit on fire or plants that make you feel like your throat is a raging inferno. Nothing has changed since then, and with the tangy, burning flavor of buffalo sauce, it has only entranced us more to the possibilities of other spicy flavors that have yet to be added to chicken.

Lastly, you have three options. Most would recommend only having one more flavor of wing, but I dare challenge that. So, here are your choices. One, you can add the all time classic lemon pepper to your array of wings, giving a zesty change to the flavors present. Two, you can throw in teriyaki to add a sweet twist to the darker flavors. Finally, number three, you can add both! Give your guests so many choices that you will be dubbed the King or Queen of game day, and that's only from the wings!

Once you have your poultry spread hot and ready to go, it is time for the second main course to this ensemble: chips and dip. While many I know will judge a Mexican restaurant by their chips and queso, those same people will judge a party based on the chips and dip provided. Despite the lovely arrangement of wings you have provided and the hours slaved over the grill to make them perfect, running out of chips and dip will ruin you. Not to mention having terrible choices! You must make sure it all flows smoothly, or everything will crumble down before you like your hopes and dreams did.

However, here is a simple guide to make sure that doesn't happen! Step one: always make sure you have an overabundance of cheese dip ready. I will always recommend any Tostitos brand dips, as they have always shown constant deliciousness every time I have bought them compared to other name brands and non-name brands. This does not mean you should just go and grab a random Tostitos dip and hope for the best! Inconceivable! You must chose wisely, or fall into the pit of 'bad-dip' choice. The two best choices for cheese dips will always be (in my opinion) Tostitos Salsa con Queso (medium) and their fabulous Blanco Queso dip (also medium). You can chose to also snag a few of their chunky salsas, but I would highly recommend grabbing a few jars of their spinach dip.

Now, now, hear me out! I can already feel many of you saying "Spinach dip? Are you serious? That is di-sgus-ting!" May I be so bold as to ask if you have ever truly tried it? If you have, and you dislike it, then I stand corrected and will acknowledge your opinion of it. If you have not tried it, I dare you to go out right after you finish reading this, buy a jar of it, and try it on a Lay's wavy potato chip. I know people who hate spinach with a burning passion, but they love this dip! It is one of my personal favorites, so even if I am the only one who enjoys it, I will never not have one at a party.

Now, once you have your dips sorted out, it is time for the chips. I always prefer to get the dips first, and then I know what kinds of chips to get. First and for most, make sure you have plenty of bags of Lay's Wavy potato chip. I have a strong opinion on the quality of their plain yellow bag potato chips, but I'll keep that to myself for now and just say do not get those chips for dipping! They are flimsy and break easily and are a waste of- I'm sorry! I almost couldn't catch myself there. Anyways, after you have secured your stash of wavy chips, go ahead and grab a couple bags of Tostito's scoops! These never fail to make a few people happy, and they honestly hold the perfect amount of dip (you know, when you can't tell there is a chip in your hand anymore? Perfect.).

Finally, the last few chips should be flavored! This is always important as many people enjoy a variety to chose from, and not all just want dip! I will always feel joy in my chest when I spot a bag of barbeque chips on a table at any party. Whether they are Lay's traditional barbeque chips, or their delectable wavy hickory barbeque chips, these will surely make anyone extremely delighted. And, if you somehow manage to snake your hands around the rare and delightful bag of Sweet Southern Heat Barbeque, be warned that I will find my way to your doorstep and demand that you hand it over. Granted, I will pay for them or beg that you tell me from where you obtained them.

Anyways! After you get your hands on those chips, be sure to grab at least one other flavor. Many of my friends would beg for Sour cream and onions to be on my list, or that dreaded wavy cheese chip in the white and blue bag, but I am not a fan of either. I will make sure I at least have a bag of each for the friends I know will like them, but my preferred flavored chip of choice after barbeque has been, and will always be, salt and vinegar. Ever since I was a young child, these were the ones that fried my mouth with the delicious acidic flavoring. These chips will chap your lips, but you will always find yourself reaching for more. Their flavor is one that simply cannot be described, but it is known by all who have ever let this chip touch their tongue. You may even be feeling your mouth tingle right now just at the thought of such a chip laying in your mouth and the salty sour flavor making your mouth crunch up.

Or, if you dare to go big, get one last chip flavor that has been fought over since your elementary days. One that has lost many friendships due to unfair trades for this cheesy deliciousness. The one, the only...

Cheetos.

Whether you love the burning sensation of the flaming hot flavor, or the tangy fire of the flaming lime, or the simple yet elegant crunch of those originals, Cheetos will always be a major game changer at any event. Whip out a few bags of these, and you will have the whole crowd cheering for your victory on your home turf.

Once you have secured and maintained all these amazing treats for your guests to enjoy, do not forget to make sure you have plenty of drink choices for them to quench their thirst or dilute the burning flame within. Whether you are Pepsi, Coca-Cola, or simply enjoy a refreshing drink of cold water, never neglect the drinks. And, if you happen to be down in my neck of the woods, never, ever, ever, forget the sweet tea. Make sure you have enough prepared, and many lemon wedges sliced and ready to go. Don't forget to also keep an unsweet to the side for your guests that may be unable to enjoy such sweetness. Keep ice at the ready, and constantly make sure you have enough for all.

And, of course, to satisfy all the moms that may or may not attend (and that may or may not be reading this), make sure to have a veggie tray somewhere accessible. Remember the main four veggies to keep in it: cucumbers, celery, carrots, and cherry tomatoes. Keep ranch nearby as a refill, and make sure you also have enough ranch for the wings! Ranch goes great with buffalo, if you didn't already know this.

Now that you have completely read through this and took the proper notes, you are all set to host a game day that none of your guests will ever forget. You will be known throughout the neighborhoods-nay, the whole county!- for your unprecedented skill and admirable assortment of food. When all this glory is bestowed upon you, do not forget who gave you such a blueprint to make it all possible. Remember me, and enjoy your game day.