Snack Like a Supermodel

I was scrolling through Facebook and came across one of those irresistible “clickbait” titles that I simply had to give in and “click”. It promised a list of “healthy fat” foods that models ate to stay skinny. Who wouldn’t be interested in such sage advice, especially a compulsive overeater such as me, who underwent gastric sleeve surgery and a strict behavior modification program to lose 100+ pounds? (Stay tuned for my upcoming series about my weight loss journey.) I should have known better, but I clicked.

43 listed foods later, after muddling through confusing and often contradictory advice, I am going to reduce (😂😂😂 ) and organize the list into two categories….Inedible and Fat/Sugar Laden. I have chosen my top 8, five that I have deemed inedible, and three that are so full of fat, sugar, and calories that they defeat the purpose of the article. This is my opinion only, of course. You may see it differently and enthusiastically add some of these suggestions to your diet regimen.

INEDIBLE

Popcorn – Delicious, you may say. Yes, it is, but the author of this article reminds us that the “extras” that are added to Movie Theater and microwave popcorn increase its calories and negate its benefit as a low-calorie snack. Thus, the recommendation that we eat ONE cup of air-popped popcorn with no oil, no salt, and no flavoring added, equal to, in my opinion, a small handful of cardboard balls. Enjoy.

Rice Cakes – One or two plain, unsalted, unflavored rice cakes. It is cheaper to eat leftover Styrofoam. They taste the same. The author apparently realizes this, as she recommends eating them smeared with cream cheese or chocolate.

Algae – Yes, pond scum. Yum. Nothing more needs to be said about that.

Celery – The author is more generous with this snack. Because it consists of mostly water, we can eat as much as we want. The operative word is “want”. Do you honestly “want” to chow down on celery sticks all afternoon? My tip is that they are quite good stuffed with peanut butter.

Soba Noodles – This is something new, quite popular in Japan, that is making its way into the United States because………..I don’t know why. It is made from buckwheat flour. The author recommends mixing this snack with tofu, another flavor bomb food. (There is no key for “sarcasm”, so just assume that if there was, I would have used it next to “flavor bomb”.) Soba noodles and tofu. Now there is a snack to compete with chocolate chip cookies.

FAT LADEN (“Healthy” fat is still fat.)

These snacks are undoubtedly packed with scrumptious flavor. They are also packed with fat, calories, and/ or carbohydrates. The author slyly sneaks that fact in while extolling the virtues of the antioxidants and vitamins that are contained in these foods. She never tells you how MANY calories and fat grams are in a serving. Nor does she tell you that one serving is so minuscule it would not fill the stomach of a parakeet. I, however, will tell you the dirty little truth.

Nuts – Cashews are my favorite, but I would never refuse pistachios, almonds, or walnuts. They do not have to be mixed or cooked in other food. A handful (or more) out of the bag is the way I like them. The author admits that they have a high-fat content, so her advice is to pay attention to portion size. She does not tell you that a portion size is ¼ cup, which contains 180 calories and 18 grams of fat. ¼ cup??? Take out your measuring cups and look at a ¼ cup. Who can be full on a ¼ cup of ANYTHING? Well, I can NOW, but that is after having surgery to remove TWO THIRDS of my stomach!

Pineapple – another delicious food. Who does not love sweet, juicy pineapple? Unfortunately, it is extremely high in sugar and carbohydrates. 16 grams of sugar and 22 grams of carbohydrates in one little cup. Yikes!

Salsa – Wait a minute, you are saying. Salsa is extremely low in calories, carbohydrates, fat, AND sugar. It is so low in everything that it is an allowed condiment for bariatric patients. And it packs a wallop of flavor. Yes, to all of that. However, are you going to pour it into a bowl and eat it with a spoon as if it were ice cream? Not likely. Our esteemed author recommends eating it with chips………………you know, the chips that are loaded with salt, carbohydrates, and fat.

As I finished reading the article, another in a long line of Facebook articles with misleading titles, I remembered the various excerpts of biographies I had read that were written by former supermodels. Almost every one of them confessed that they stayed skeletal thin by eating plain celery and lettuce, drinking water, and smoking cigarettes. Not one ever mentioned “healthy fats”. Actually, except for the aforementioned celery and lettuce, no one ever mentioned food of any kind.