Pepsi Loses Major Battle in War Against Coca-Cola

by Brian Garfield about a year ago in pop culture

Arby's: Turncoat of the Year

Pepsi Loses Major Battle in War Against Coca-Cola

Sometimes ladies and germs, it is more than perfectly acceptable to admit that someone (or in this case, something) is vastly superior to yourself (or in this case, your product). As a life coach, Tony Robbins has a far better track record, larger network plus more books released than me, and never is the amount of times you will catch me denying it. If Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson was hitting on one of my beloved ladyfriends, I would be coming hard with a baseball bat or nearest object of destruction, because realistically, in what way (beside ability to make an ass of oneself) do I exceed The Rock? Hopefully in crazy if he ever does take fancy, and he is fond of North Florida trash, but as an intellectual would say, I digress. Another thing often said by intellectuals is repeat any lie enough times and some people are bound to believe it. I am left asking though, why in the name of all that is good would one sacrifice the intellect of your fellow human beings for mere profit when, if one is clever enough, another marketing strategy beyond lies and deceit can be crafted. Have we no desire for adherence to the truth any longer? An example: who amongst the upper echelon of society takes seriously an individual who believes Taco Bell to be the tastiest of all of the Mexican foods? When mentioning a social elite, I don't mean those whose bank accounts have numbers as high as myself on any given day, nay, when I say upper echelon, I refer to those who happen to have an abundance of traits such as grace, dignity, and/or taste.

The answer, of course, is none. Sorry Taco Bell fans, but that is an awful place to get Mexican food (although, not a bad place to get tasty munchies inspired by Mexican food, as long as Ian Rotten isn't working the grill). That above question actually has the same answer as the one I am about to propose to further my silly point: how many people would the random man tell if he were to share a night of passion with Rosie O' Donnell? None, in most cases anyway. To flip that question, how many people would the random man tell if he were to share a night of passion with someone as appealing as a Sofia Vergara? Despite all of us getting a trophy in little league, some stuff is just better than other stuff, my dog is better than your dog, etc. etc. We can all give one hundred percent, but that one hundred percent is not going to be equal, or even close to equal, in the vast majority of cases.

Pepsi needs to admit to itself that they are no Coca-Cola. There isn't a sane soul on God's green Earth who believes Pepsi to be equal, or even superior to, Coca-Cola, but most rational folk realize it isn't a bottom of the barrel soda like Faygo or R.C. Cola. While Pepsi may not be nearly as fancy as specialty sodas such as Jones, Dr. Brown's or Cheerwine, it is leagues above that sorry excuse for soda affectionately known as store brands. In the same sense that Clase Azul Ultra Extra Anejo is beyond incredibly respected but nobody in the know considers it to be on the level of Patron Lalique Extra Anejo, Pepsi proves that soda pop, much like liquor, isn't a two shelf world.

Is capitalizing on this reality a good idea for Pepsi? I'm under the impression to say yes, absolutely. Long gone are the days of Kevin McCallister pouring Pepsi products all over the pizza, much to the chagrin of his petty and starving family; when ditching Pepsi for Coke products is considered a selling point, you know your brand is in trouble. Pepsi, by repeating a lie over and over again, to yourselves, to your shareholders, and to your consumers, you belittle all three. Believe you me guys and gals, I know plenty about how much easier it is to criticize than implement worthwhile improvements to a product or concept, but I would like to see Pepsi thrive and prosper. Coca-Cola, especially from McDonald's or a glass bottle bottled in third world nation and made with real cane sugar, obviously is the king of soda, but I don't want to see its competitors crushed and forgotten. Soda, despite its toxicity, is undeniably and uniquely delicious; there is more than enough room for as many flavors, and interpretations of flavors, as soda creators can conceive on store shelves. There is far enough diabetes to go around, after all. Infinite diabetes, so I'm told.

Maybe I am looking into this situation too much. I do have a tendency to constantly overthink subjects of little importance for hours (or days/months/weeks/years) on end. Truth be told ladies and germs, all I know for certain is, without a shadow of a doubt, Arby's sauce goes way better with Coke than Pepsi. It's not even close. I just wonder if Pepsi knows that.

Holla at me on social media @bongstudly, or to tell me what a waste of mental energy this B.S. fluff article was.
pop culture
Brian Garfield
Brian Garfield
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Brian Garfield

I do stuff but we're just getting to know each other so why don't you slow down a bit? 

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