Feast logo

Frolics, Food, and Family

by Scott Haslam 4 years ago in humanity

Armageddon, fill your freezer.

16 April 2016 was the day we found out our family was going to grow larger. We were pregnant!!

My wife (girlfriend of 10 years at the time) and I had just finished a great meal at our local pub and decided to make the move to the bar. The plan was to enjoy a pint, or seven, before we went home for the night. I had ordered two pints of ale and turned to look at my wife (girlfriend of 10 year at the time) who resembled to shade of a white cotton blanket which was being thrown around by the tumble dryer.

Deciding to take the beers home as carryout instead, my wife (girlfriend of 10 years at the time) said something wasn’t quite right so chose to take a pregnancy test. I should point out at this point that we had been trying to have a baby but were convinced we were not pregnant. I was that convinced that I had poured my wife (girlfriend of 10 years at the time) an ale in the kitchen and waited for the confirmation of what I had thought.

SH#T, [email protected]#K…………What?! We had confirmation that we had indeed done what we had planned to do, become pregnant!

Once the scans come back OK, we decided it’s safe to tell parents, family, and friends, and this was when Armageddon began:

Day 1 – I am so excited, congratulations, you guys will make the best parents.

Week 4 – Congratulations, you guys will make the best parents, I knew you were pregnant.

Week 12 – You guys will make great parents, I knew you were pregnant, it’s going to be a boy.

Week 20 – I knew you were pregnant, it’s going to be a boy, it’s going to be a girl.

Week 30 – It’s going to be a boy, it’s going to be a girl, fill your freezer up.

Week 35 – Fill your freezer up, fill your freezer up, fill your freezer up!!!

Reviewing all the advice above, I felt we could take two things away from being new parents: firstly, it was going to be either a boy or a girl, and secondly, my freezer is not filled. If all the books were correct, the influence on the gender was done, so there was only one thing for it: FILL THE FREEZER!!!

Week 39 & 40

1kg beef mince, 500g pork mince, tomato puree, 4 tins of tomatoes, 1 punnet of mushrooms, 4 carrots, 4 celery sticks, 2 large onions, mixed herbs, bay leaf, salt, and pepper.

We spent two whole weekends perfecting the art of making in bulk and freezing, making the most of a standard mince mix. "HOW EXCITING." Re-usable aluminium trays, white sauce, basil, pasta, baked beans, and frozen garlic bread, and we had done it. We had filled the freezer!!

Week 64

Food left: 2 lasagnes, 3 chilis, 1 spaghetti Bolognese, and no garlic bread!!

When our daughter was born, we were grateful of the following advice: we would have either a girl or a boy and we NEED TO FILL THE FREEZER!!

We are foodie people and have yet to empty to the freezer I have to believe this is because we have not sweated the small stuff and smiled at every testing time. Food is fun, especially now as we are now allowing our child to enjoy new tastes and textures of the world.

Don’t sweat the small stuff!!!


Flat iron steak, basil, ripe beef tomatoes, spring onion, sun dried tomatoes, 1 ball of mozzarella cheese, parmesan cheese, 200g butter, juice of 1 lemon, balsamic vinegar, and rapeseed oil.

Step 1 – Slice ripened beef tomatoes into ½ cm pieces and place on a plate. Add salt and pepper.

Step 2 – Slice basil, spring onions, and sun dried tomatoes to preference. Tear mozzarella into chunks, juice the lemon, and set to one side.

Step 3 – Heat a large non-stick frying pan on a high heat until smoking.

Step 4 – Add oil to the steak (not the pan), season with salt and pepper, and cook on one side for three mins on the high heat (times vary dependent on the size of the steak). Turn the heat down by half and add the butter and the lemon juice. Baste the steak with the butter and lemon for 3-5 mins (this should cook the steak medium rare).

Step 5 – Leave the steak to rest for 5 mins. Whilst the steak is resting, scatter the basil, spring onion, sun dried tomatoes, and basil on top of the sliced tomatoes on the plate. Once the steak has rested, slice it into 1 cm slices and place over the tomatoes.

Step 6 – Mix oil and balsamic vinegar together and grate the Parmesan. Scatter the Parmesan over the steak and add the balsamic mix to taste.



Scott Haslam

Read next: Journal of A Former Cooking Hater

Find us on social media

Miscellaneous links

  • Explore
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Support

© 2022 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.