Crazy Sauce

From the Boarder of Mexico, to North Carolina, back up to Minnesota, and then over to Washington. I’ve run all over this country cooking like a damn fool over the last ten years.

Now I’m going to give you my favorite sauce recipes I’ve gathered! Just like that! I’ve just saved you the trouble of years of grueling line work it takes to bribe these coveted sauce recipes from mentally deranged genius chefs. I couldn’t be happier to share them.

I’m going to write these in the only way that makes sense to me, completely random with no rhyme or reason. So here we go!

Salsa Roja

Your nachos and tacos will thank you.

-5 Habaneros

-10 Tomatoes 

-20 Garlic cloves

-3 Bunches cilantro

-3 Yellow onions

-1 &1/2 c. Lime juice

-1/2 c. Chili powder

-1/2 Paprika

-2 c. Sour cream

-1 c. Blended oil

Blister the garlic and tomatoes.

Blend everything, then whisk in the sour cream.

Teriyaki

This sauce is perfect on chicken wings or in a stir-fry.

-6 c. Soy

-2 c. Brown sugar

-2 c. Chopped ginger

-1 & 1/2 c. Molasis

-1 &1/2 c. Liquid smoke

-3 c. Rice wine vinegar

-6 c. Orange juice

-2 c. Lime juice

-6 c. House 

-4 c. Water

And a Corn starch slurry

Blend ginger and orange juice.

Add everything to stockpot, except slurry.

Bring to a boil and add slurry to desired consistency.

Thai Peanut Sauce

Love this rolled into mixed greens or with grilled chicken.

2 1/2 c. Peanut Butter

1 c. Rice Wine vinegar

1 c. Lime Juice

1 1/2 c. Olive Oil

1 c. Honey

1 c. Sambal

1 c. Grand Ginger

8 cloves garlic chopped

1/2 c.. Tamari

2 bunches cilantro chopped

Blend until smooth.

Caesar Dressing

The only way to make a Caesar salad that’s using this dressing better is to make your own croutons out of brioche buns and a ton of butter, yum.

4oz. Lemon Juice

4oz. Red Wine Vinegar

4 oz.Whole roasted garlic

4 egg yolks

1 qt. Garlic Oil

2 c. grated parm

2 T. Fish sauce

or 4 anchovie filets

Combine all in a blender except garlic oil.

Slowly imulsify the garlic oil into the running blender.

Beer-b-que

Scale this recipe down as needed. Back when I would make this sauce I would make it several times a week, going through roughly 20 gallons. It’s pretty tasty.

1 can chipotles

1 gl. Apple cider vinegar

1 gl. Water

3 qt. Dark beer

2 c. Tomato paste

1 c. Liquid smoke

1 gl. Ketchup

1/2 c. Paprika

1/4 c. Chili powder

6 c. Brown sugar

1 gl. Coca Cola

1/4 c. Black pepper

Salt to taste

1 fistful of garlic

3 yellow onions

2 c. Corn starch

First purée onions and garlic with beer, then put everything except starch in a stock pot. Reduce by 1/4, and then slurry as needed to slightly thicken.

Curry Sauce

I love this sauce over grilled chicken or sliced pork tenderloins.

1 1/2 c. Mango chutney

1 c. Toasted curry powder

2 T. Worcester sauce

4 c. Greek yogurt

200 g. Diced dried apricots

200 g. Roasted slivered almonds

First mix with utensils, and then finish with hand blender.

Kung Pow

There’s just nothing better than deep frying some chicken wings until crispy, and then rolling them in this power packed omami sauce. Garnish them with scallions.

1 qt. Fermented black beans

2 c. Teriyaki

2 c. Mirin

1 qt. Black vinegar

2 c. Soy

2 c. Sesame oil

20 ea. Garlic cloves whole

Blend your garlic and black beans with enough liquid to thouroghly polvorize, and then which all ingredients together.

Sweet Corn Gravy

Serve this with a bbq spiced pork chop, chili pickled red cabbage, and some fried green tomatoes For a southern masterpiece.

2 c. Minced bacon

1 yellow onion diced

4 cobs corn kernels

4 c. Chicken stock

2 T. Minced garlic

2 c. Heavy cream

2 T. Sherry vinegar

Salt and pepper to taste

Start by rendering the bacon, then add the onion garlic and corn. Deglaze with stock, bring to a simmer and add cream. Reduce by 1/3, adjust seasoning and then blend.

Cocktail Sauce

Making your own cocktail sauce is not only cheaper in a restaurant setting, but it’s fresher and more flavorful. So whip some up and beer batter some shrimp to dip it in.

10 can chili sauce

1 1/2 c. Horseradish

1 c. Lemon juice

1/4 c. Black pepper

1/4 c. Granulated garlic

10 dashes Worcester

10 dashes tobacco

Slaw Dressing

Coleslaw dressing is more versatile than people give it credit for. This dressing makes a nice chicken breast marinade for an Alabama Ivory style bbq sandwich. Alternatively, add some orange juice concentrate and blended chipotles to this recipe for a nice bright dressing to go on top of a fish taco.

2 c. Sour Cream

2 c. Mayo

2 c. Apple cider vinegar

2 T. Sugar

1/4 c. Honey

2 T. Salt

1/4 c. Ground mustard powder

2 T. Poppyseeds.

For the slaw vegetable mix itself, play around with shredded cabbage, carrot, and apples. I also really enjoy a half bunch of parsley that’s been chopped into dust rolled into the mix. Just be sure to massage some salt into your cabbage mix at least 10 minutes before you add the slaw dressing. This will allow the cabbage a chance to release some moisture before it leaches into the dressing and waters it down. This is the only way to keep your coleslaw crunchy and properly dressed.

Thanks for reading! Part two with another 10 my all time favorite recipies is coming up soon!