WHAT DO YOU GIVE YOUR CHILD?

"I'm not in the car, it's a shame, my friends are all on the train, and I'm just buying my train..."

The story of two mothers standing behind each other in the cafe this afternoon made me feel a little sad, but then suddenly I felt a warmth of joy thinking about a similar story of my dad more than 10 years ago.

"What did you give me?"I remember when I was young, I had the "courage" to ask my father that question, for the first and only time. It's not long after I got the news of getting in college. A very serious and frank conversation between two men.

My father replied in an unlikely more calm way. "What my parents gave me, I'll give back to my children: a clean background so I never have to be ashamed of me and the best education I can get. I'm going to help you out there. It's over.

I'm a little shocked, but I still think it's just a "pick-up" for the new student. And unfortunately, my father didn't joke, he acted very honestly according to the statements. He calculated it very carefully and gave me a monthly allowance of 300,000 during his college years. The first semester's tuition was paid, from the second semester I earned myself so I automatically did not apply. Regardless of the years after I earned more than twice as much money, that allowance wasined until I graduated, receiving a degree was a cut.

I've been studying abroad for six years, and you don't have to worry about giving me a penny. For me, you're always Napoleon and I'm just a second man. But at least I've always seen it as a small success of my own.

My dad was very nice, always very clear: "This is my house, this is my car. And I'm... asking and asking. Not satisfied, the right to walk... always belongs to me."

If you ask me to do something that's not your child's responsibility, instead of hiring an outsider, you'll hire me and pay me a very flat price, not forgetting to show up as a tough customer. Not selfish, not bothering, I know that there's only one way if I want to have my own house: buy it myself. Someone has heard and wondered, "Your house is not his, but whose, why do you say that..." And my father immediately adjusted, "My, if he doesn't try, I'll give it to charity." My father isn't as rich as Bill Gates, but if I dare to do like Bill gates, I believe it's real.

My home's small meal always has stories about animals, stories that are repeated, told time and time.

Father used to talk: The chicken reaches the age of feeding itself, the chicken will run away to death if the chick tries to come near or follow. Or the story of the eagle: The young eagle will be raised by the mother in the nest until she has enough hair for her wings, and then it will steal you to fly up to the top of the mountain very high and drop down.

Whoever wings into the air and flies lives and begins a new life, whoever can't fly himself falls and the abyss awaits underneath. That's the law of nature, and man is a part of nature and therefore no exception. The smell of smell in the fragrances of my childhood.

Your misplaced generosity makes you a weak, weak child.

What I'm telling a lot of people over here, many parents and parents, is probably reversible, but, taking a step out of the world, I find myself not an exception. Most Western families are like that, quite the opposite of what we see in the East. The very clear distinction between responsibility, love, and inclination makes it impossible for a man to find a moment of unreasonable restraint or expectation from the very beginning.

You don't have a college tuition? All right, let's borrow it and pay it back. Many of my foreign friends are choosing such a solution, even though many of you have rich parents who are always willing to fund.

The misplaced generosity of so many Vietnamese parents and mothers like the mothers in my early story is leaving the country with weak generations, unable to live independently and with self-respect for their own loved ones.

They naturally give themselves the right to be begged, to be coveted, to abuse the unlimited love of their parents... and parents continue to believe in error that letting children be inferior friends even when they are grown up is not a parent's responsibility.

In my own country, when does that vicious circle start? It's hard to try to have riches to give you, but it's a thousand times harder to get riches without giving them. Sounds like a violation of the laws of human affection, but it's a necessary reversal. That's probably the essence of parenting.

A lot of times I've been asking myself, "Well, what are you gonna give me at the end of the day?"

And ten years after that flattened conversation, when I bought my own first house and car without asking my father for anything, I understood all the unshakable love and invaluable wealth that he had left for me for decades.

For self-esteem and self-reliance is for everyone.