Trials of Being an Aunt

I don’t think that people understand all of the issues with being an Aunt. My first time being an aunt I was fourteen. My sister had a son at seventeen and left for the military when he was 6 months old. From the time she left to seeing her the day of her graduation I helped my mother and my other sister take care of her baby. It wasn’t hard to do, it was just his reaction to seeing his mother after her being gone for 6 to 9 months. As any mother should, my sister was happy to see her son, but what she wasn’t prepared for was him being terrified of her. The look of pain on her face as he screamed at her when she tried to grab him, the pure resentment she felt for me when he cried “mama,” while looking at me. I have always showed pictures of her and tried to make sure he knew that I was not his mom. Nevertheless, he was attached and admittedly so was I. The relationship between me and my sister was never pristine, but after that moment our relationship has never been the same.

Once he got older, I tried to be there for him and make sure he was growing into the young man I knew he would be. Now, he is thirteen and I have seen exactly the kind of resentment my sister felt to not only me but her son as well. I had noticed over the years how he had began getting into trouble in seeking attention from anyone that would give it to him but I didn’t feel it was my place to step in and try to help him through all these times since have his mother was now home. I couldn’t of been more wrong. It wasn’t until I noticed a certain add on social media that reflected a number of felony burglary’s that were happening around where my nephew and my sister lived. At first I didn’t think it could be possible that he would’ve done any of that upon further investigation’s and looking at all of the evidence that was already posted on social media I noticed a very familiar face walking along and one of the security cameras. As soon as I noticed it was him I kept thinking to myself how can I let this happen? Why did I not step in? Why did I not try to help him when I knew in my heart he needed help.

I contacted my sister as soon as I could piece all of the investigation together. She responded in probably the worst way any sister could respond when something like this is happening to someone in the family, she said “mind your own damn business.” I was shocked. I could not believe that she would tell me that of all people in the family knowing how much I could probably help him she told me to stay out of it. This still becoming a problem as just being his aunt and I cannot tell him anything that he should do or could do. I can’t take him away and give him all the types of help that he clearly needs because at the end of the day I’m only his aunt. I have no control over what happens to him and that’s what hurts me the most is I could help but yet I actually can’t help.

I ignored her. I reached out to him and other family members and made sure that we were all there to help him. To make sure that he understood what was happening, to make sure that he had support and help from whoever he can get help from. I look back and I still wish that I could’ve taken him at any point to try to give him a better sense of what a parent is because clearly my sister has no idea what it means to be a mother. Now I know what it means to his Aunt. My advice to all Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, and older cousins, follow your instinct and do what you need to do to help the younger ones. No matter how badly the “parent” of the young one fights you, do what’s right and give the kids a fighting chance to have the kind of love, care, and life they deserve.