Toddler Blues

Not that long ago you entered the world. Everything seemed fine. I was afraid but open to understanding exactly what I needed to do to nurture every aspect of your life no matter what changes it brought me. Then one day you a had birthday, and things weren't funny-faced photographs and sleepless nights. You began to be curious about so many aspects of life. I don’t know whether to let you do it or stop you from exploring. In my mind, I have to protect you as my life depends on it, but in your mind, you have to figure out the good versus the bad. It's hard when you have the blues. You cry, run, jump, play, yell, scream, and kick. You enjoy bath time and snack time, but you always want snacks. Having you on a schedule is the hardest to say the least because you just run away when I try to keep you there and train you to do what I say. Simply because your little mind is wandering in the paths of growth and stability. I love being a mother, but you toddlers are the most challenging aspects of my daily routine that I choose to live with daily. I can't wait until you grow older, go to school show everybody what you have learned, and continue the exploration of life. Your light is needed and I love the laughter but you also bring me tears, sometimes I want to cry like you and throw a tantrum. But hey I'm a big girl with mommy blues. I teach you and guide you only to be left with the word no at bedtime. I think you're amazing and bountiful with all the little tricks and trades you learn along your exploration and journey through life. I love you, with every ounce of my being and with every bit of my heart and I choose you because you are the smallest biggest joy in my world. It's hard though. I don't remember your older siblings being this hard, you get into everything and I can't close my eyes for two seconds because you'll find something to do that's not what you should be doing, rather it's taking out the pots and pans or playing in things you got out of the cabinet, whatever it may be you keep me distracted from my world of blues. You are the reason I try my hardest, you are the motivation to fight for our love and light, you are my everything and I love the truth you make me see. You're a terrible two, but an amazing form of reality. I still want to run away. I want to run away from the markings on the wall, the stained couch, and the potty training. But I will always run to you and your hugs, your kisses, and your cries. The day I met you I knew you would make me cry, but I never knew it because you wanted to rain on my parade and boss me around all the time. It's funny because I remember you doing that since day one, and I know your mind is not broad enough to understand who you are but I want to be the first to tell you that I have my hands full. You enjoy the simple things but make everything so difficult. I tell myself, when I finally rest that tomorrow will bring new laughs, or new tears I guess it all depends on how you feel about getting dressed and eating breakfast. Oh, the joys of motherhood will never get old. Love you tots!