Tips for Future Husbands

Dear future husbands,

Here are just a few tips to take into account before you tie the knot:

1. Learn to really listen to your future wife.

I have heard countless wives complain about how their husbands never listen to them and are always distracted. Actively listening to your wife is a learned skill that will help you immensely. Many men mistakenly think that listening means nodding and half-heartedly mumbling "yes honey" to everything she says; this could not be further from the truth. Put your phone down and turn the TV off and try to really listen to your wife when she is talking to you or asking you serious questions. She will feel respected and valued if you show that you care about what she is trying to say. Good communication skills are one of the most important things for helping hold a marriage together.

2. Always thank her for what she does, even the little things.

A heart of sincere gratitude goes a long way and this applies to the marital relationship as well. Tell your wife that you appreciate her for all that she does for you and your household. It is easy to take things for granted if they are done all the time, however it is so important to say thank you for every act of service that is done for you by your spouse. For example, my wife does most of the cooking and food preparation, so I try to remember to thank her when she makes a nice dinner or prepares a lunch for me. Sometimes a little note or a card may also be a kind way of showing that you greatly appreciate your wife and all that she does.

3. Surprise her from time to time.

Every now and then your wife will like a surprise from you; this could include: date nights, flowers, jewelry, cards, gift cards, surprise birthday parties, extra alone time (especially if she is highly introverted), having one of her friends take her out for a girl's night, etc. Life is exhausting and sometimes your wife will need something unexpected that is fun and lighthearted to keep her enlivened and happy.

4. Ask her how you can help her around the house and then follow through with the task(s).

Sometimes your wife may be overwhelmed with life, work, and/ or house chores. When you sense that she is getting overwhelmed, then ask her how you can help her out. Use tip number one (above) by listening closely to what she has to say, then respond to her request as soon as you are able to. If she asks you to help with folding laundry, then go an extra step and fold the laundry and then put away the laundry too. When you show that you care about your wife and the well-being of your household, you are learning how to strengthen your relationship.

5. Don't ever stop asking her questions about herself and what she thinks about things.

It doesn't matter if you have been married for six days or sixty years, there is always something that you can learn about your wife so I encourage you to learn the art of asking unique questions. If you have a hard time thinking up your own questions, then use the internet to look up lists of questions that you can ask her in order to get to know her better. My wife and I love playing the game Would You Rather because it is a fun way to ask questions and learn more about how each of us think and process information. I learn new things about my wife all the time because I try to constantly think up creative questions for her to answer. Please don't fall into the terrible rut of only asking basic surface-level questions all of the time!