The Most Awesome Five Dollar Finds

I never would have made it if I could not have laughed. It lifted me momentarily out of this horrible situation, just enough to make it livable. — Viktor Frankl

Laughter has always been an essential element in my family. When my husband, Patrick, died in 2016, we depended on laughter to lift us from the depression of grief.

Patrick had a dry sense of humor, and it was legendary in our family. My daughters, Sierra and Camille, share their father’s sense of humor, and it has gotten us through many difficult times.

One of our favorite things to do as a family was to visit thrift shops in San Luis Obispo and occasionally at home.

Patrick liked to be a miser, and he usually bought his work clothes at thrift shops. I think his employees knew this without even being told. He also liked to find little treasures there, and the girls loved finding clothes.

I usually bought books or odd household items. A short time before Patrick died, he and the guys went thrifting and decided to have a contest. They could each spend $5, and I had to judge whose item was the “Most Awesome.”

The girls spent their $5 on clothing. Their presentations involved dramatically walking down the stairs wearing their purchases and working hard to sell them. Camille was first, and she came downstairs in this ridiculous gauzy pantsuit with military-style patches sewn on.

The outfit looked like a uniform created to be a Halloween costume. The funny thing was that I imagined it was initially just a pantsuit but couldn’t imagine who would wear it. She strutted down the stairs, then jumped off and pointed at the suit. As she later said, the suit spoke for itself and didn’t require words.

Sierra was next. Sierra is also hilarious and has a Speech and Debate, Mock Trial, and Moot Court background. She is very persuasive! She strutted down and twirled in the most ridiculous t-shirt I have ever seen.

She said that she loved that someone put in the effort to display their love of frogs by cutting out a panel and carefully sewing it into the t-shirt. Then they decided it would be a little bit more awesome to keep that extra part, cut it into fringe and add beads. I was dying at this point!

Patrick went last and announced he knew his $5 find would be the most awesome. He bought one of those apple parer/corer/slicers. He gave an elaborate presentation on the virtues of this handy kitchen tool.

I don’t eat a ton of apples, but I could see the appeal of having them so readily prepared to eat. I deemed it a good purchase, but Sierra was my hands-down winner. I’m not sure he ever forgave me for not choosing him!

The Friday after Patrick died, my sister-in-law, Amy, and the kids arrived from Nebraska (Patrick’s brother Dan came a little earlier). My sister, Dawan, and brother-in-law, Tom, made it home from Europe. So, the house was filled with family, and we were all very sad.

I remembered the thrift store contest and asked the girls to recreate the presentation. That was the first time our house had been filled with laughter since the nightmare began, and it was a welcome change.

After the presentation, the girls shared other stories about their dad, and it was exactly what we all needed. We had been grieving a bit too much, and we needed a laughter break.

We have continued the tradition, and other family members have joined in as well. The Most Awesome $5 Find game will continue, and we will all remember the precious memories associated with it.

This story was adapted from a story originally published under the title Grief is Just a Place I Visit on my blog, My Life After Patrick and republished on Medium.com.