The Art of Paying it Forward

Dad........

What does that word mean to you?

To me, it means love, guidance, somebody who is always on your side but has the wisdom and courage to pull you back when you’re about to jump off of a cliff, and to listen …… to be THERE when you don't feel like you can stand on your own anymore........it also means someone who is not just my Dad but also a human being too, an intricately flawed human being with issues and problems that he has spent his whole life trying to overcome and other ones that he refuses to face -probably because they are just too much for even his indomitable will.

My Dad raised me as a single Dad since I was 7 years old (my mother & I have since reconciled and she is an amazing Abuela – Spanish for Grandmother - to my son, who is the love of my life, but that is another story), now mind you…. Dad has a lot of hustle in him and more charm & charisma than anyone should be granted for the safety of the world at large.

Despite all of this, Whenever Dad saw someone- especially someone with kids- hurting, short on cash or food or needing a ride...he always pitched in even when it was super tight for us.

One day when I was little I asked him why, he told me something that I didn't understand then (because every kid thinks their parents are a little nutty until they grow up and figure it out…..Thankfully Dad knew that and he knew that I would understand everything that he was showing me as I got older. *It's a good thing Dad is gracious as I can't count the number of times I have come back to him and said the horribly humbling phrase "Dad....You were right", he just says "Honey it's ok" and smiles empathetically) but that I get now.

He said "Honey, You have me and Daddy will always take care of you.

Not everybody has that. Sure times are tight right now, and we'll have to eat sandwiches for a while, but we will be ok. They may not be so lucky. ``

And of course I thought he was nuts and I didn’t WANT to eat sandwiches for awhile, but Dad always did things his way-for good or bad.

Now I'm glad for his relentless confidence.

Because looking back, there were a lot of people who truly needed the help ……had he looked out only for his own, they would have been placed in some terrible situations.

It's always amazed me how a tiny bit of circumstance can alter the entire course of a person's situation. I suppose our lives are but a string of circumstances and choices.

My Dad seemed to know that and he made his choices according to the best possible foreseeable outcome, a trait that he passed on to me via example and discussion.

Now we skip a few decades, I am grown with a family of my own and we are experiencing some lean times.

About a month ago I was worrying about bills as money has been pretty tight.

And I saw in one of the Facebook help groups that I follow that a lady needed help feeding her kids.

(The number of people needing help since last August has jumped dramatically and so I help where I can and My Husband is always happy to pitch in and help, so is My Mom)

So I mentioned to my Husband that we had another delivery and for the first time he looked at me and said

"Hey, it’s tight for us right now ya know, how are we supposed to help her"

And without even thinking I told him '' yeah it's tight for us right now, but we will be fine. I will make it work for us.

What, we have to cut back on a few things for a while......it's not like we're underfed!

This lady needs help, and we can spare a few dollars for some eggs and bread."

He was pretty skeptical.

But in my heart, I knew that we would be ok because no matter what.... I would always make sure my kid and my families were ok. No matter what rabbit I had to pull out of my hat.

And we were ok; we have continued to be ok. Albeit with a whole lot of resourcefulness and creativity, but we have still been ok.

My Dad always knew how to hustle and that he needed to- he also had no issue in asking somebody who was smarter or more gifted at something then he was for help- he forever held his end goal in mind.

He taught me that business is 24/7 not 9 to 5, that it has its ups and downs- ride the ups & prepare for the downs.

He taught me that money only has 2 rules:

1 if you don't have it, you have to go get it.

2 If you have it, you need to make it grow.

And he taught me that no matter how tight it is for me...it's tighter for someone else.

My Father has taught me so many things, and no matter how difficult my situation is, I have always fallen back on the lessons that he showed me growing up.

They keep me standing and moving forward…..they also keep me helping those that need it.

Thanks Dad, Hats off to you!