Thank You For Us.

Never will I fall

Choices and decisions you made

I’ll stand tall

With so much to lose

I’ll risk it all

Bad influences

Everywhere I look

You’re number one

Get up-help yourself

You’re hopeless

I have a hollowed out heart

Weighing heavy in my chest.

He was never a good father anyway and that’s fine because my grandpa is my dad. He raised me and made me who I am today.

He was never there, he has been in jail for my entire life, and he won’t be there for any of his kids. I guess that’s one thing I should thank him for I guess…he gave me the gift of siblings. Phoenix, Alexis, Darryn, and me. Four siblings sharing his last name that we may not be proud of, but proud to be each other's other half.

He always got in much trouble as a young kid. Getting arrested, drugs, alcohol, made the wrong friends, got in fights, anger management issues, depression, and everything in between…the things you hear about on TV…that’s what he did. Every time he called though, it was like I was the magnet to the fridge - I’d answer that phone quicker than you could imagine. I’d be so happy to hear from him…but why? There is absolutely no reason for me to want to talk to him. There just isn’t, and that’s that. But I made sure there was…and that was my problem.

I’m mad at myself for wanting to talk to him. He’s not a good guy. He’s dangerous and I just wish he isn’t the way he is so I could have that American dream family and life. You know what I’m talking about…The daughter who lives with her mom and dad living in some house in the suburbs with a picket white fence who love her so much and have normal family issues and problems blah blah blah…

Well I guess I should say I got a blessing in disguise because my grandparents raised me and they gave me everything I know and I owe them my life. I couldn’t have been more thankful for them, but even though they raised me, I’ll always want that family I couldn’t have. And I’ll always be here wishing I had it.