To The Momma Struggling...

Being a parent can be so damn hard and I know how frustrating it is to just get through the days. The crying, the tantrums in the car, the screaming in the middle of a grocery store… all while you’re trying to keep yourself together as well. But all you want to do is cry, have a tantrum, and scream. It’s so hard not to lose your shit every day, hell…it’s hard not to lose it every hour. If I broke down as much as I wanted to, I might be considered a toddler myself.

But there’s one important thing to remember, it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to break down in your car, to scream in your pillow, or just have one hell of a mental break down. I’m not going to lie, there has been many times when I have hid in my bathroom just to get a few minutes of quiet to myself. But let's be real, who hasn't? I’d be lying if I said I don’t take a shower every night just so I can cry and sit with the hot water rushing down my back. It’s hard, it’s so hard, but you know what…it’s okay.

Because the crying that I do, the tantrums I have to myself, and the break downs I do have, end up making me feel better in the end. To be honest it makes me feel weak and I try so hard to hold myself together, but you can only hold it in for so long before it starts to affect your every day to day life. So please know it’s okay not to be okay, it’s okay to have your adult tantrums, screaming fits, and crying. It’s okay.

Everyone copes differently, but when it comes to kids sometimes I think it’s so easy to just lash out rather than think about what we need. If we took that extra time to relax and find time for ourselves as parents, it would make it easier to enjoy being a momma. Now I know it’s easier said than done, but just think about it.

I find myself getting impatient with my son more than I should. I find myself putting him to bed early and letting him have hours in front of the TV more than I’d like to admit. I find myself stopping at McDonald's and Chick-fil-A on my way home so we can get a quick dinner in, because that's easier than a mess at home.

These things may make me feel like I’m cheating my way through parenting, but I try and remind myself that I’m still doing an okay job. I still give him the love and attention, I make sure his needs are met before mine. I mean I don’t even take a shower every night because I know the boy needs it more than me. And let’s be real, by the time he’s showered and in bed, I don’t want to shower anymore. I simply just want to bed. Yes you read that right…I just want to bed.

I know these things don’t define me as a parent. But the love, attention, time, and everything in between do. He won’t remember the tantrums he's had in the store, he won’t remember the projectile vomit he did in my car that made me so mad, and he won’t remember the things he did that drove me crazy during our days together…

He’s going to remember the times we both ended up in the tub soaking wet because we were pretending we were at the ocean. He’s going to remember the times we spent playing outside in the pool in the dead heat of summer. He’s going to remember the time he dropped breakfast all over the floor after we just got done making it. He’s going to remember going to the festivals and watching all the music and people dancing. But not the tantrums he threw all the way there in the car.

When I remind myself of this, this is what makes it easier. I know it’s so easy for the negatives in my day to get to me more than the good, but this is a constant reminder. I may have multiple breakdowns in one week, I may drink more wine than I should, I may have tantrums myself and vent all the time, but it’s okay! You’re allowed to! I mean you can’t always be strong and have the perfect parent act down.

So please if you need to cry, cry. If you need to scream, go scream. If you need to put your kids to bed early because you’re tired and need more time to yourself, do it. If you need to have more than one glass of wine, go for it. If you need to not do laundry for a few days because it’s just too much, repeated outfits are okay, I won’t tell. We’ve all been there or have experienced this to some sort of extent.

Life will carry on, and so will you - but remember to take that time for yourself as a parent because if you can’t take care of yourself, it’s going to make it that much harder to take care of your little ones. Try to remember there’s another parent feeling the same way, I guarantee it. So hold on and don’t let go.