To The Momma Struggling...
Being a parent can be so damn hard and I know how frustrating it is to just get through the days. The crying, the tantrums in the car, the screaming in the middle of a grocery store… all while you’re trying to keep yourself together as well. But all you want to do is cry, have a tantrum, and scream. It’s so hard not to lose your shit every day, hell…it’s hard not to lose it every hour. If I broke down as much as I wanted to, I might be considered a toddler myself.
The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done.
I wasn’t born into a family, I was born into a lifestyle. My parents were never together. My dad took off a lot, my mom hooked up with different men, while both had a drinking and drug problem. I never actually lived with my dad but visited when I was allowed to. My mom had full custody of me from day one, which eventually turned into none.
A Moment In Time.
Today is the day. Today is the day where my next journey begins. Not only for me, but for my son. I close my eyes before I look at myself in the mirror. I repeat a mantra a friend tells me everyday in my head.
Something I miss are the simpler times in life. The times where my brother, Jessie, and I would had mud fights in the front yard, or when we would go on spider hunts and tape spiders to the wall for fun - because what five year olds weren't a little psycho. The simpler time in my life where I only had to worry about what the weather was going to be like the next day, or what I was going to eat for lunch. Or the times in my life where I was so happy and loving life that I didn’t let anything get me down except when my parents wouldn’t let me go out on a school night.