children
Children: Our most valuable natural resource.
Boys Need to be Boys
The parents were struggling of what they should do help their 7 year old son focus in school. He just started grade 1. By nature he was loud, upbeat, friendly, rambunxious, and full of boyish energy. These amazing qualities in him however were beginning to become a determent to his performance in the classroom. I have said before that the public school system was not designed for specific kinds of children. Especially high active extroverted boys. To tell a young boy to sit still in his seat and focus his attention on the teacher hours on end is near to impossible. However in the public school system that is our expectation of children. Forcing them to make their bodies and brains to do things that they are not designed for or skilled and mature enough to do. Be a good little child and sit still and listen to the teacher. The parents of this child were at a loss of what to do with their son to get him to focus and perform in the school setting. They did come to a conclusion which is the same standard decision people make in these situation. Just put him on medication. So they did. This young boy would take his medication in the morning before school. By the time he arrived at school and was seated at his desk he was focused. However the problem with this decision occurred when he went outside for recess and lunch. When he was finally in the proper setting to let his energy out in an an outdoor environment he did not have energy to let out because his innate natural boyish energy was sedated from the medication that he was on. He tried to play games with his friends and rough house and run around but he did not have the same fire that he used to have. It was difficult to watch. I approached him and asked him how he was feeling. The young boy informed me that he was not feeling well and he has stomach ache. I assumed from what he said that the dosage of his medication was slightly off balance and causing his stomach to hurt. When he returned to class he was capable of sitting and doing his work however it was done with a lack of enthusiasm and energy. He informed me that he likes the fact that he can focus on his school work and that he is happy to make his parents happy that he focus on his work, but he wished that he can have the same amount of energy to play and engage with his friends. He told me that his friend were unenthused about laying with him because he could not socialize in the same way with them that he used to be able to do. Because of his sedated energy level he could not keep up with his friends and it was effecting his friendship with his friends. From my perspective I knew that males are competitive by nature and it is that innate competitive bond that creates strong friendships among males. The medication that this young boy was on depleted all the competition out of him which effected his friendship dynamic with his friends and as a result he became socially isolated from the other children. The parents were informed that they need to find a healthy balance for him. He needs to be able to be focused on his academics and at the same time have the energy to play with friend and unleash that healthy boy energy. The parents complied and and did what they needed to do get a healthy balance of medication so the young boy can focus and play with his friend, and he was happier then he can be. We have a tendency to look down on wild competitive male energy, that it is a quality that we must beat out of young boys and teach them to sit still and focus and listen. A lot of the time a school daily structure was not made for boys with ADHD. There brain chemistry does not allow them to sit still and focus hours on end they need that break to run and move and be physical and competitive with each other, it is how males bond with each other. Take a father and a son for example, studies have shown that rough physical play within a father son relationship as monumental emotional health benefits in bonding the father and the son together. Males were made to be physical beings. I had a young boy that I worked with years ago and he had an extremely difficult time sitting in class and listen to the teacher and staying focused on the task at hand. It was almost painful to watch him struggle to try and sit still and force his brain and body to stay focused. When I would observe him in the classroom setting it was almost as if he was in physical and emotional pain trying to force himself to be the student that the teachers wanted him to be. During the summer I began taken boxing classes. I bought myself a pair of boxing gloves at the store. So I came up with the idea of doing boxing classes with him during recess and lunch. He would put on the gloves and I would hold the pads and I would teach him proper punching techniques proper boxing foot work and and would have him exhaust himself until he had trouble standing. Then he would return to the classroom and his ability to sit still and focus on his academics dramatically improved it was not perfect but he was actually able to be productive in the classroom. That showed me that putting a young boy on medication to sedate his innate boyish energy is not always the best solution. It can be seen as an easy fix to. It is putting a bandage on a gun shot wound. It is time better spent explaining to the young boy that his energy is not bad and nobody should every make him feel that he is bad child for not being able to control his energy. He needs to be told that the best way to use his energy is to channel it. Into something productive that will benefit his life and move his life forward. Such as being on a sports team or taking up Mix Martial Art. So he can learn the proper knowledge and physical and emotional discipline that he will not learn from being on medication. It is a slower process but a more productive and permanent solution to the problem. All boys since the time they are born all have one thing in common, an innate hunter warrior nature. It our social culture and modern world that systematically beats that warrior mentality out of boys. All young boys want to do at a young age is run around in the woods play sticks and rocks and play war with each other. However in our modern time we discourage this behavior from young boys because we think it is harmful for there development. Boys need to be allowed to be in touch with there natural selves and be the loud energetic warriors that nature has designed them to be, but also maintaining respect to themselves, others and their community. For boys to be happy and healthy they need to be encouraged to let their energy out in socially productive ways. In failing to do so they will feel shamed and guilty for being a boy which will result into troubled men. Boy must always be boys.
By Logan Rider6 years ago in Families
The Magic of Christmas 2020
Christmas in 2020 will probably look a lot different for most of us, but after the past year I think we can all use some Christmas magic to remind us of all the good things in this world. Someone told me the other day that Christmas is for kids, and people who want to feel like kids for a little while. I also believe sometimes people experience bad things, and have Christmas taken from them. Sometimes people need someone to help them remember what Christmas is truly about. Christmas is the time to remember that love came down to find you here right where you are now, and it happens again year after year. I think we all could use a reminder of Christmas joy and the love from above that started it all.
By Cheree Cummings6 years ago in Families
Dear Daughters
Dear Daughters, All I needed wasn't awakening to ensure all my actions would no longer need articulating. I never aimed to abandon you in any way this I can assure you. Although everything went awry know that my love for you is authentic. I will always aspire to inspire you even if it has to be from afar. I now acknowledge that I should have been more assertive and far less absent in every aspect of your lives for this I sincerely apologize.
By Sheri Ferguson6 years ago in Families
The Hilarious Requests For Help From My Daughter
My daughter is brilliant, beautiful, funny, and endearingly helpless at times. She's not genuinely helpless, but she likes to call a parent as her first course of action. She used to call so frequently her father worried about her ability to live in the Los Angeles area on her own. Now, as she finishes her final year of law school, I know he is smiling down on her from heaven, and I am answering her calls.
By Danell Boyles TeNyenhuis Black6 years ago in Families
Toddler DVD Players for kids (Buyer Guide 2020)
Portable DVD players for children have become a boon for parents who travel a lot and there are young children who are traveling. There are many options available when it comes to portable DVD player. In this Wax Connection post, we bring you a list of the top 14 portable DVD players for kids.
By John Alexandar6 years ago in Families
Minecraft and My 5 Year Old
I've been playing video games since I was young. I first picked up a controller at the age of 8 or 9, playing Mario 64 obsessively, but even before that I remember being in daycare and seeing someone play Pokemon for the very first time. I was fascinated; I was hooked. I had to have my own.
By Henley Harrison6 years ago in Families
Will I Win?
What am I doing wrong? Why have I been so nice? Why did I let my heart think for me? I was with this man for 5 years and I can tell you I stopped being happy in 6 months of our relationship. Why I didn’t leave him ? Well because I had no one to go back to. Why? Because he took everyone I had around me and pushed them away. My mother, my father, my siblings, and my friends. I also stood with him to give us a chance for our baby girl. But it wasn’t enough for him. He would purposely miss work to go hang out will friends. And after I had my baby I barely had his support because he was listening to his mom about not helping me because he works. So when my daughter hit 6 months I started to work. But when I would get off he would leave our baby girl home by her self in her bed and no his mom wasn’t there either. She was crying and I had told him it’s not kewl doing that. That’s being a bad parent. Then to find out I was pregnant yet again. Yes I am an idiot but I won’t ever regret all my kids. But the sexual situation is for another story later.
By Gabriela Marcial6 years ago in Families
My Very First Baby
Hey Moms Or Should I Say Mothers... I Got Something To Say! Where Do I Start... Oh Yea The Pregnancy. During My Pregnancy It Wasn’t Hard At All As A Matter Of Fact The Labor Wasn’t Either. Now I Don’t Want To Brag But My Labor Went Fast 2 Hours Fast. I Know Some Mothers Were In Labor Longer Than That But I Know For A Fact Throughout All Of That Excruciating Pain At The End You Saw A Beautiful Baby Boy/Girl And You Knew From That Point On Nothing Was Going To Stand In Your Way From Loving Him/Her. That’s The Same Way I Felt And Still Do About My Son(The Baby In The Photo With Stars). His Name Is Audy Jr Even Though The Line Doesn’t Stop With His Father. But, To Cut The Cuteness And Cooing Off I Know For A Fact You Have Lost Some Sleep When Your Newborn Baby Came Home. How Do I Know You Ask? The Same Thing Is Happening To Me Now As I Speak.In Hospital It’s All Sweet But As Soon As Your Baby Come Home It All Goes Downhill From There. Your Full Hours Of Sleep Turn Into Half Of That And For The Mothers That Have To Wake Up Around 4AM I Feel So Sorry For You Unless You Have A Man Or Husband Around Then It’s A Different Ball Game.
By Kîlå Glénñ6 years ago in Families
Toddler Life
I truly love my kids, but there are moments I look at them and think I miss being a kid. Think about it they get to play most of the day, while learning, eat, use bathroom in some way, and sleep. Yet take a second to look at life through their eyes. My middle child will cry bloody murder if his rubble Paw Patrol doll is missing. To an adult this is silly, but to a kid this doll has been on some adventures, been found countless times, and been in battle.
By MrsYael Israel6 years ago in Families
My Man
September 16th 2017, Dear Little Weirdo, You came to my life without knowing that you were about to create a badasss woman, I’m still confused, about the impact and of my smile, advice and positive attitude. How many times, years, nights and days I did ask and pray to not save me anymore from a world I didn’t understand and dont want to one of the unless human. If today I’m not unless and all who see me as a leader, I just wish them to meet you, cause you’re the reason why I’m supposed to be a gift from the even .
By Kaia Goodchild6 years ago in Families
