Solving the World's Problems.

When I was 11 years old, my grandparents took me in and raised me from there on out. My mother was on the crack pipe, my dad was in and out of jail, and my sister wasn't far behind them. I knew I had two choices to make: to get in line or become a leader.

My grandparents were the pure opposite of my mother. Regular church go-ers, loved Jesus, and cringed at the sound of a swear word - Just a couple of good Christian southern folk. Little did I know, the world I had been living in wasn't a good one.

You see, my mother was a young single mother who loved men, drugs, and alcohol. She constantly had men over and made TV dinners nightly just so she could say she fed me. I was told to leave and go outside with the downstairs neighbor's kids until dark. A lot of the time, I'd find ways to eat and keep myself busy. But to me, all of that was normal. Men came in and out of our tiny one-bedroom apartment, there were multiple times I had been locked in a random room in a random house just so my mom could go upstairs and party. That was my normalcy.

So when the day came to turn a 'new leaf' my mother said, we drove over to my grandma's house and my mom left crying. When I sat on my new bed in my grandparent's spare bedroom, I looked up and thought, what is happening. My grandmother came in, sat next to me, and told me how much she loved me and will never replace my mother. At first, I was excited and thought this is going to be so fun to be living with Grammy and PawPaw. I wanted her to know everything about me. I pulled out my huge CD case and started to show her all of my CD's and my absolute favorites. All of Eminem's albums, Britney Spears, Destiny Child, PINK, N*Sync. She was a little worried with a shocked look on her face that I was listening to such profanity. We took a few more minutes and looked through them all. She touched my hand and said, maybe we should look into getting you some new music.

My mind was racing when I asked her if she wanted to know everything that was wrong with me. This is obviously a weird question, but to me my weird quirks and abnormalities were normal. She gave me an odd look. I start talking about how I got headaches daily, stomachaches all the time, and I struggled with heartburn and asthma. She struggled to listen to these stories and problems. We kind of just sat there in silence for a few moments slowly realizing this may be a little harder than we both thought.

It was at that moment, my grandpa came in and said, let's go get a mocha. Which was his way of saying, let's go get Starbucks. I never had Starbucks before, but I had vodka mixed with orange juice before. I was excited. I jumped off the bed and put my shoes on right away. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, this is going to be fun. Once we arrived, everyone there knew him and I thought it was so cool. He was famous. I ordered a Strawberries and Cream Frappuccino and a cookie. I was so elated, I picked a table and we sat. He started to ask me questions about myself, what I liked, what sports I enjoyed, did I have a best friend. Things every parent should know. We sat and enjoyed our drinks over the course of three hours. He made me laugh so hard with his corny jokes I actually felt happy. After we went home, I felt good knowing this could be a new normal. A dream for me, really.

The next day he came home from work around 4 O'Clock and asked if I wanted to go solve the world's problems. I laughed and didn't know what he was asking. I was slowly unpacking some of my stuff still and he responded with, let's go get a mocha. I remember feeling so anxious the night before and not sleeping. My grandma was using that week to get me enrolled in school and get updated doctor's appointments, so the week was spent at home with her. As we walked out the door, he said, this is my new favorite part of my day. Not much was said on the drive there, but a couple of inside jokes that were made the day before. Once we got there, they greeted him and said, hey Jerry, I'll get your usual. Stephanie, would you like the same? I blushed with embarrassment and laughed. I shook my head. We sat at the same table and started talking more about what else was going on. I laughed and he asked more questions and I told him as much as I could. Some questions were hard for me to answer, and some came easy.

The next day, I was still unpacking the couple of trash bags I had and was trying to find where to put my stuff. My grandma was helping me decide on some interior design details. She was creating a safe place. A safe place I could come home to every day after school while my grandpa was creating a safe place within himself.

The next thing I knew, it was 4 O'Clock. I heard the garage door open and I was anxious and excited he was going to come in and get me to go get a 'mocha' and solve the world's problems...again. He was witty with some of the things he said and made funny jokes that didn't make much sense. He walked in, looked at me, and said, let's go solve em'. I grabbed my shoes and we headed on our way.

For the next 10 years, every day, we'd make our way to Starbucks to solve the world's problems. One question at a time. For an 11-year-old girl who had been through a tremendous amount of trauma, doing the simplest task of going to Starbucks to sit and chat, healed me. I didn't know at the time, I didn't even know years later what it did to me. Through the ages of 11-19, I had more trauma come my way, unfortunately. Every day, my grandpa took me and we shared our problems and attempted to solve them one mocha at a time.

When we moved to Arizona after High School, I started college (still living at home) and decided to major in Psychology. I didn't know what I was specifically going to do, but I wanted to help people with their own issues. To a lot of new friends I made, I might have just been a seemingly smart person with a lot of knowledge, but I had someone by my side every day helping me through my own issues and rooting for me. And that's all I wanted to do for them.

I found myself and who I truly was by getting coffee with my old man. I found who I wanted to be and my worth. My grandfather changed what it meant when we say, want to go get a coffee? So now as a 30-year-old married momma with a very busy life, when I'm asked whether or not I want to go get a coffee and catch up, It means more to me than talking. Because that one Frappuccino when I was 11 years old turned into hundreds of conversations talking about life, the decisions we make, the time we spend with people, who I am, and my values.

I value time, I value relationships, and meaningful conversations. Over the course of ten years, he changed me and helped me form into the human I am today. My whole belief system and morals have changed. If you told me 19 years ago that this one cup of coffee with this one man, was going to mold me and help me help others, I wouldn't believe you. But I do now. All it took was that one moment, that one place, and that one drink, to make the biggest impact on my life.