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My So-Called Life Tells Us What It Means That This Is Us

Coming of Age Is Ageless

By Christy MunsonPublished 3 years ago 7 min read
5
Claire Danes as Angela Chase in My So-Called Life

A lot of shows resonate with me, but one series reverberated more profoundly than the rest: My So-Called Life.

One instance in particular gets me where I live. It's a simple moment really, when Angela Chase, played by Claire Danes, and Rayanne Graff, played by A. J. Langer, exchange shoes. (Happens during "Pilot," and is highlighted during the opening credits.)

Jared Leto as Jordan Catalano, Tom Irwin as Graham Chase, Devon Gummersall as Brian Kraków, Devon Odessa as Sharon Cherski, Claire Danes as Angela Chase, A. J. Langer as Rayanne Graff, Wilson Cruz as Rickie Vasquez, Bess Armstrong as Patty Chase, and Lisa Wilhoit as Danielle Chase

I love that moment. We see these two new friends living their lives in the freedom of the moment, connecting. One person has a wild impulse and another goes along, smiling. On one level, we see two people choosing to walk in each other's shoes. Their interconnectedness is beautiful.

Claire Danes as Angela with A.J. Langer as Rayanne Graff

But we realize Angela has just chosen to abandon her best friend Sharon in favor of effervescent Rayanne. She's chosen a new direction, a new life, a new way of seeing and being herself.

What we feel are the pangs of loss that Angela's choice brings, not only inflicted on Sharon, but felt--and far more deeply than Angela expects--by Angela herself. A tiny petal of innocence is plucked, not on some grand scale, but in a manner deeply personal.

Claire Danes as Angela bringing it

We understand it. The allure of "having a time" instead of staying stuck shackled to the same old going nowhere. We see Angela embracing life, taking chances, making memories for herself. But it could cost her a friendship she's counted on for most of her life.

For me, that moment spent huddled, swapping shoes, is everything impactful about coming of age. The moments of transition, of becoming.

My So-Called Life lives in that space. Moments we don't even realize at the time are the moments in which we decide who we are. This is you or me becoming someone new. And in so doing, we are moving away from who we have been, and how we've seen ourselves--not to mention how others have defined us.

Iconic moments... at the lockers

My So-Called Life lived for one season, only 19 episodes. But these are indelible episodes. No other show has had a more profound impact on me.

It broke my heart and gave me joy and tested my patience and turned my head and sang my life and made me laugh and broke my heart again. It made me wait, and it rewarded me. And it understood me, and my "brain."

Jared Leto as Jordan Catalano

Nothing was perfect. Just like life. Just like me. Just like all of us.

I stumbled upon the show and was immediately hooked. I wasn't the target audience. I was older, but I was in it. It shed light on a time in my life that I hadn't even realized needed mending.

Instead of plying me with valium, it cranked up the oxygen.

I could have watched My So-Called Life for a hundred seasons, like Law and Order, with all the enticing spin-offs chasing all the feels. But it wasn't to be.

That moment. One of many.

I've come to accept that My So-Called Life reached its fateful end after just one gut-wrenching, magnificent season. I've let it go. But I'll admit, it wasn't overnight.

Winnie Holzman, screenwriter and creator of My So-Called Life, reportedly said of the series:

...there was a rightness in how short the season was.

But it ends on a cliffhanger.

So you'll forgive that I couldn't swallow that first heard.

But now I get it. And she was right.

This show wasn't absurdist nonsense that needed to go on indefinitely to matter. It wasn't some canned after-school special.

In 19 episodes it showed us a thousands different ways in which life can and does crush us, and it gave those painful, beautiful, poignant, cringeworthy moments with all the context we needed.

And that cliffhanger, it's life. Isn't it? Nothing ever finishes wrapped up with a bow, all neat and tidy. Life is messy.

And some choices are forever in the balance.

With My So-Called Life, life's struggles weren't heightened, they were exposed. Laid bare and unapologetic. The series trusted us to figure it out for ourselves. When it ended, we had to pick up ourselves right where it left us, and find our selves for ourselves as people do. That's the job.

Angela in the foreground with Rickie looking on and Sharon living her life

We watched daughters and fathers, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, adults trying to figure out adulting. We had sisters, friends, and former friends, lovers and others all trying to find their way. All framed against the backdrop of life's bigger problems.

As described by Wikipedia,

My So-Called Life dealt with major social issues of the mid-1990s, including child abuse, homophobia, teenage alcoholism, homelessness, adultery, school violence, censorship, and drug use.

And when its narrative ceased, its absence left a void. But life goes on. I think that's kind of the point.

We keep moving, deciding, being and becoming who we are. It's what we do.

So I'll tell you about another group of people who might just get you like the Chases did.

Moving On, Growing Up

If you loved loving My So-Called Life, you'll likely love The Pearsons, too. It has something for everyone, every walk of life, every experience.

Here instead of Angela and her world, we have Jack (played by Milo Ventimiglia), Rebecca (played by Mandy Moore), and "the Big Three" (played by Chrissy Metz, Justin Hartley, and Sterling K. Brown).

The writers tell us from the onset that we have a rollercoaster ride before us, and it's everything that My So-Called Life might have been, if written now, in this moment, with these impressive and honest characters.

This Is Us is us in all our hot-mess craziness.

Just like My So-Called Life, This Is Us lives in that spaces of their own lives but in the richer context of the world, with its politics and racial tensions and complex challenges of a million sorts. These characters show us, one moment at a time, how they've become, and are becoming, who they are.

This series has its own deeply flawed and perfectly well rounded, genuine characters, each of whom is someone you'll want to know. In its own way, This Is Us does lean into My So-Called Life, giving us the impactful moments without the insulting sugarcoating.

The Pearsons have their own moments similar to the ones My So-Called Life gave us (the shoe exchanges and the red-hair dye and the lockers and the car rides and the music of our lives). But their lives are still unfolding.

Like My So-Called Life, This Is Us doesn't shy away from human experiences. We see heartbreak and rebirth and anxiety and success and loss and acceptance and so much more, expertly interlaced in ways you won't see coming. (I'd tell you more, but you deserve to discover it for yourself.)

This Is Us, like My So-Called Life, gives us context for our own lives. We're invited to see ourselves in these interwoven stories and the characters who deliver them. And every time you think you know what's going on, you'll find there's still more to the story.

This Is Us

This Is Us is described by Wikipedia as a "romantic drama, a serial drama, and a family drama," and it's hard not to notice that the description could be talking about My So-Called Life.

Unlike My So-Called Life which is told in linear, timely fashion, the continuation of time as we live it, the cast in This Is Us and their lives span time and place, now and then, and into tomorrow. We follow the Pearson siblings, Kevin, Kate, and Randall, and their parents, moving through flashbacks and forward leaps, and now as well. And it's incredible.

The acting is profound. The storylines are bright and brilliant while simultaneously dark and moody. It's race and class and obsession and anxiety and obesity and imperfections in a million other experiences you'll find familiar, and need to watch for yourself.

The Pearsons: Chrissy Metz as Kate, Mandy Moore as Rebecca, Justin Hartley as Kevin, Sterling K. Brown as Randall, and Milo Ventimiglia as Jack

As of now, we have four seasons, each featuring 18 episodes. A fifth season is in the works.

Just like My So-Called Life, This Is Us makes us feel the feelings of a thousand complex choices, and we watch, breathless with anticipation, at their reverberations. Maybe This Is Us knows all about My So-Called Life and how to live it. Certainly seems they've taken a page right out the book. And I, for one, am delighted for it.

I find My So-Called Life on DVD, on Hulu (premium subscription), and ABC. This Is Us airs on NBC.

tv review
5

About the Creator

Christy Munson

My words expose what I find real and worth exploring. Come along for the ride. Be warned: my voice haunts like cello resonating through bone, sinking into marrow.

Vocal Top Stories: March 2024 | March 2024 | February 2024 | June 2021

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