My Dad Has Dementia

I taped down the charger cord under a note that said “Dad – Take your phone but leave the wire. Thanks!” and we’ll see it if works! Four days ago I did the same thing and thought I was a genius because the charger stayed in place! Hallelujah! I cannot tell you how many of them we’ve gone through in the last few years.

Thanks to friends and family continually (and patiently) replacing them all the while we all wonder where they go? Sometimes, they randomly turn up…back in the same wall socket and we can never ask “Hey, where did that come from?” because he’ll just joke around and change the subject.

Each day (these days) are mostly good but then there are times when it just seems that his mind is somewhere else than he wants to be.

Today, he was trying to explain to me where one of his longtime friends lived. He started out in one area and then in another nowhere near the first. I got what he was saying but still. He was also on repeat with tasks and reading the same piece of paper over and over. Looping around with a “50 First Dates” kind of happiness that had no idea the loop even existed.

I asked him if that “Uncle” came over yesterday when his friends gathered in the garage. He didn’t remember that his friends were over. In fact, he couldn’t even remember some of their names. They gather about once a month and eat, drink, talk, and laugh. A LOT. On the one hand it’s great for him because he is and always has been very sociable. But on the other, his brain and body seems to have a really tough time recovering so it's a tough call. Not only that, he doesn't listen.

He had a hearty appetite today just like any other day but he also had a swollen leg and the joint on his hand hurt like heck. It was swollen. He has gout but he’s always been pretty adamant about his lifestyle and we can’t really tell him what to do so much. That’s starting to change but it’s been a slow process.

We talked to my sister and her baby and he was happy and knew exactly what was going on. While we talked he must have wiped down the counters and stove about 10 times. All with a smile on his face and hearing every word we were saying. He laughed at all the right times, and joked with impeccable timing.

What is going through your mind when you’re repeating your tasks dad? It both intrigues me and saddens me.

He was confused about what was going to happen next at the end of the night. He wanted to go to bed but also wanted to know what time I was going to wake up. He asked me a bunch of times and finally I figured he just needs a black and white answer so I gave him one: "6AM."

THAT worked.

He asked me to wake him up if he was still sleeping when I woke up so I said I would and finally, he could sleep.

Or so I thought. Within 10 minutes he was up and about again. Asking me if I needed the key. (To the house) So I finally said "Yes, why don't you give it to me."

And guess what. THAT worked. For sure. Because as I type this I can hear him in a deep slumber.

Tomorrow I’m sure he’ll wake up and see his keys on the table, his phone on the charger. In all the same places. He’ll put the keys around his neck, grab his phone and put it in his pocket and will go about reading the morning paper, eating, watering the plants, and fiddling around the house. In the afternoon he’ll walk over to the neighbor’s house and join him in watching television in the garage - I'm SURE, talking about the same things all over again.

We made it through another day. A little agitated and confused. Battling some inflamation. And definitely mostly happy. 💜💪