Mum's metaphorical book of witchcraft and life lessons

Mum’s, Mom's, Mothers, Momma's, whatever you may call her, I call her Mum, and mum's as a whole, have a very specific skill set, in which they are good at almost everything.

You need a million things done at once and don’t know where to start? Go to mum. You need to know how long to heat something in the microwave? Mum’s got you covered down to the second. You need to know what kind of person you should be? Mum will tell you. In my experience, a mum is artfully and brutally honest - which some people hate, but it’s one of the things I love about her.

Let me tell you the story of my wonderful mother, and what she has taught me (a small fraction of it anyway). Born in the 60s as the only sister to three brothers, it was difficult for her to be treated the same as the boys of the family. I'll set the scene for you, it’s Northern Ireland, and the 60s were in full swing; my mum spent her childhood years under the watchful eye of very strict, religious parents, in a little house above their bakery. Mum didn’t realise it at the time but even at a very young age she was experiencing life lessons that she would later add to her survival guide of mum’s magic and wisdom that me and my sisters have grown to swear by.

Lesson number one, don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you are less than others; you are beyond enough, you are everything, even if people make you feel like you aren’t. She struggled to feel like an equal to her three brothers, and as a young but insightful girl, she knew she would never make a difference with any of her children.

The light bulb for lesson two came shortly after. When you work in your family bakery before school, after school, and sometimes during school hours, you don’t have much time for anything else, it's hard to live as a child when you have the work schedule of a workaholic adult, so you have to make the most of a bad situation. And so, Mum and her older brother had to get as many laughs in as possible and I can tell you from the stories of their days in the bakery, they laughed until their sides were sore: playing pranks on each other, hiding under the counter from particularly difficult customers, even though the wall was mirrored, so the customers could see them anyway, messing up each others orders. The way they comically depict their time as young bakers, it sounds like they were living in a 70s sitcom (I personally think it would have been a cracking hit).

From her own experience, she has always taught me and my sisters to make the most out of any situation, otherwise, life can really be a drag.

At 17, she moved out of her family home and into a flat near by, she describes the feeling of freedom as complete bliss, and here, we have lesson number three - freedom and independence. She has always made it clear to us that although she will always have our back, it’s so important to find your feet and find your independence in who you are, because after all, you are the architect of your own life.

As she grew into a young woman, she left her image as the little girl who dressed like her brothers, and became a fashion icon in the 80s. She created a lot of her outfits by doing something different to separate herself from the crowd, which brings us to lesson four - don’t be a sheep, being unique isn’t something you should hide or be ashamed of, it’s something you should embrace in its fullest glory. Thankfully, she kept a lot of her funky pieces from the 80s and one of my favourite things to do is steal them from her wardrobe and dress just like my momma. Seriously, who doesn’t love 80s fashion?

When she turned 19, she got together with my dad and here begins the chapter of the role she was born for. She hadn’t been one of those women who were broody from day one and started having children right away because she was still finding herself, but as soon as they got married and she decided she was ready, she was a woman on a mission; and then came my two sisters and me.

From the moment she set her eyes on my older sister, everything changed for her. She became brighter than ever, her world lit up like a constant summer was around her. Even when we cried and screamed, (and believe me, we did) winter never came for her.

My excitement to become a mum stems from listening to her speak about how happy she is to have us as her children, and to watch her beam so luminously when recalling memories of us eating ice cream and dancing on the sofas in our living room to the same movies over and over again.

Lesson number five is a hard one, as we grew into young women, the struggles turned from not eating our vegetables to mending our broken hearts, and acknowledging that life isn’t as easy as we had envisioned. Growing from a child into a teenager and a teenager into a woman, Mum told us to always trust our gut. Listen to that little voice in your head, she would say, trust that feeling deep in your stomach. As women we are born weary, because history has taught us to be, and although it’s unfair, Mum told us we were strong enough to handle it, to protect ourselves, and most importantly to love ourselves.

I could use countless words to describe how amazing you are Mum, but I know you wouldn’t want that, because you are not a woman who loves the spotlight. You may not love the spotlight but to me, all you are, is light - a sun beam that lights up the meadow; because of you, I will always know my worth, I won’t let anyone take me for granted, I will know my beauty. I will also always have a long list of ridiculous sayings that I've picked up from you that I can use to make people laugh.

You are so much more than you know and you always have been. You call me your sunshine, but I am only shining because of the warmth you have given me.

And as much as I’d like to share all of my mum’s tips and tricks, she likes to keep her little book of witchcraft very secret, when I learn them all, I’ll let you know.