Motherhood at a Young Stage

Many Women don’t know how to start the first stage of Motherhood, as a matter of fact many of us are clueless. we go by our instincts, our maternally instincts. There are times we compare ourselves to other mothers. But not simply to say that each of us are special in our divine way. We get lost in the process, our conscious tells us to do better or try harder. But in reality we don’t need to strain ourselves we need to take a breather and take it one moment at time. Most of the time we multitask anyways, cooking, warming bottles,burping baby, and the list goes on and on. We take on a lot of task without even asking for help because it’s in our state of mind. I am not trying to brag but just honestly being realistic. So when we need a break, we’re not asking for too much. And don’t ever feel like you’re asking for too much. We’re a living being and deserve to be treated with the same respect we give. We get lost in the process and that’s normal. We try to proof ourselves or others that we are better or that we try to be better.

Now, for many of you ladies probably don’t like to touch this topic that I will be getting into but I believe it is an important stage in motherhood to speak about this. Postpartum depression is a real thing, many of us experience it in different levels over different things. But it’s there, that moment when you feel overly stimulated with a bunch of things to do and not know where to start could be the beginning of it. I am not identifying a warning sign or how to avoid it because in reality it is inevitable some woman may experience it less severely than others but that doesn’t mean it’s not there. Many of us would not want to admit it, are you familiar with the movie “ Marley and Me”? Where the husband ask his wife if she’s going through Postpartum depression and she seems a bit agitated and not wanting to talk about it? And denies to not having it? How she takes it off on Marley the dog and calling it stupid dog, or saying how she is sick of it making messes everywhere, in all honesty I wouldn’t want to be in that ladies shoes, not to sound cruel! I love the Movie is very touching! But I would go crazy taking care of my four kids which are younger then 5 Yrs and taking care of an untrained dog. God bless her heart! And just knowing it’s based on true story, oh my! Ok enough talking about this movie, sorry if I am getting off topic here. How I was mentioning different levels of depression, just like I believe she was going through it. It pops up unexpectedly for some, so if you ever witness a mom friend going through something similar, please reach out to them, and let them know they are not alone. Postpartum is real, it’s silent and cruel. It eats you up alive. There are sleepless nights. Days we could go without eating, or even bathing! Every mother gets hit differently but it’s all real.

Just to clarify there are many things that can lead to that, some woman have OCD and like things a certain way or PTSD from previous relationships or past experiences. We are all shape differently in it is always good to find something that can water those things down whether it is talking about it or trying to keep your mind occupied so we are not overly overwhelm by it all. We may all have something that triggers us or irritates us that makes us not want to be around certain people or places. I have the terrible habit of biting my nails! Ugh! I haven’t been able to get rid of that disgusting habit in so long… It’s uncomfortable to talk about it because a lot of people like biting their nails. With time I have learnt that it is a very disgusting part of your body, all the dirt articulates and gathers under your nails along with day to day task you take .We touch hundreds and hundreds of surfaces throughout the day, do you really want all that in your mouth? Didn’t think so but just like it’s a habit it is also part of anxiety it is something that is triggered by the nervous system and how uncomfortable next thing you know you have bit down to the very bottom of your nails. And getting back to this nail topic as mothers not only do we touch surfaces we touch other human beings that being our kids, diaper changes or bathing and changing of clothes imagine all those dead cells that get under your nails? Pretty disturbing, hopefully we are able to not pass certain habits to our little ones it’s hard they see everything and are like little mimicking living things that just do what you do. Not only physically, but verbally too so be very careful what you say around your young ones. It is also important to work on habits slowly and making changes, for the family as well as all around also for self care.

Next thing I will be diving into. So now that I have gone over some things of Motherhood I'd like to tell you a few things about me and my family. My name is Abigail Esparza I have a 2 year old soon to be 3 on September 5th! He is growing so quick ughh. I am on my mid 20's my husband is the same age as me! Interesting never did I imagine the father of my child would be the same age as me. Funny thing my son's bday is 9/5, and my Husband's 5/9 pretty amazing huh? Mine is on August 25th. I am from a Hispanic family my parents are Mexican and Michael my husband is Italian and Native American. It’s crazy to tell you how we met. We met at Walmart we both worked there. I also think it’s funny he never thought I’d talk to him. There were times I would walk in through the back to organize and pick out a clothing rack to take out to the floor. I was getting curious as to who was this person organizing these boxes with all of the same dept. All the Men’s with Men’s and Women with Women, half the time a few months back everything would be scattered kids with Women and Men and so forth it was hard to pick up and organize all together. Then there came Michael the One-Touch guy. He literally touched everything from every department in the Store he would spend hours just doing that. He would do the job nobody else was willing to do. Organize different bins with their given department. It’s so sweet and romantic to think he would set eyes on me and speak about me to his guy friends. It makes me blush just thinking about it Hahaha! I was never the person to think we met people because of fate or because it was meant to be. And when me and him started talking he would tell me that all the time. I fell in love with him and at times I was confused and told myself and him this can’t be happening. But he made me come into my senses and made me fall in love all over again.

All I can say is girls, listen to those senses and don’t let them blind you. When you feel something about someone else. Say it spend the time to talk about it before it’s too late. I now have a 3 Yr old and I wouldn’t trade that for the world! I want to soon give him a sibling before he gets older I want him to grow up with someone he shares things with! It’s so important I can’t stress that enough. I have a friend that only has one girl and she tells me I wish I would have given her a sibling because time after time she is alone and I can’t give her that experience she would have had if she would have had a sibling. I had school friends that were the only child and all that stress, depression just eats them from inside with nobody to share it with. It’s sad and there’s nothing like a brother or sister that have your back and are there for you no matter what.

The most traumatic experience for me was when I found out I was pregnant! I think anyone who doesn’t plan on it happening to them anytime soon could relate. When I first found out and told a co-worker she giggled and said you got knocked up! I was like yes I did! And was speechless after that. Didn’t and couldn’t say anything I was in shock at that very moment and I bought like 2 more tests just to verify it wasn’t the test itself. Even though somewhere deep inside me was hoping it was the test and not me! I kept it a secret for maybe 2-3 months from my family, Michael knew within 2 weeks of me taking the test. The number one reason I took the test was because a girl that worked with me at the time told me I had this Pregnancy Glow. And I would ask her what was that and she said well Y’know it’s when your face starts having that vibrant glow it’s only showing when you’re pregnant. I was like that sounds amazing but said it in a very utterly voice. She was like yea, you should probably take a test. And I was like yea maybe I should but I didn’t really want to talk about it. Thanks to her I realized there was something to worry about! I didn’t get my normal periods so I couldn’t really tell whether I was very late or had missed it at all. That year was full growth, I studied and learned so many things. Did my research on how to receive my first newborn. Oh I was all over the place I went to parenthood classes, Michael came with me a few times. He was there for me something that made my whole weight even out. We shared this experiences together. It wasn’t easy but it makes it so much easier when the father of your child lets you know he will be with you every step of the way. I just hope to God it only gets better from here on out, we been together since November of 2018! Going on 4 Years, going strong like a true love story should.

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