Don't let your child be infected with these 4 kinds of thinking

Most people grow up in a similar background, receive the same education, and learn the same knowledge, but the final result is far apart, some people have achieved outstanding results, and some people do nothing to run around for a living.

What exactly is the reason for this huge difference? What can we do for our children's growth?

Many parents often enter a misconception: that the difference in their children's IQ and the "starting line" lead to significant differences in their children's growth, so they desperately "chicken" to make their children have a good future.

After 30 years of research, a Stanford University psychology professor found that the reason for the gap between people is different ways of thinking.

Different ways of thinking determine the different heights a child can reach, which is something many parents neglect to do.

For children to develop well in the future, parents must focus on the development of their children's way of thinking. There are some ways of thinking very detrimental to the growth of children, parents should pay attention to avoid the formation of these ways of thinking in children.

01 Weak thinking

What is the performance of a child with a weak mind?

When you encounter a topic that you are not very good at, you don't even think about it and say "I don't know".

When they encounter difficulties, they say "I can't do it" without even trying.

When children are used to admitting that they are weak, they lose the ability to think independently and the courage to challenge difficulties. What's worse, over time, children will enter a state of "I am weak, I am weak for a reason, I am weak and should be understood", and make excuses for their lack of effort and success.

"I'm just not as smart as XX, I can't compete with him even if I try harder."

"I didn't go to cram school every day as they did, so I'm sure I didn't do as well as they did in the exam."

"If my parents had raised me like XX's family, I would have been as good as XX."

Weak thinking can have a great impact on a child's cognition, psychology, logic, etc. It makes children habitually retreat when they encounter difficulties, hoping for support and help from others, and unable to cross obstacles through themselves.

When they grow up, such people will also live in a negative state and have "opinions" about other people's success, and the slightest advantage that others can use will be infinitely magnified by them, forgetting that they also have advantages that can be used in themselves.

02 Self-contentedness

Children of this generation grow up with the attention and love of the family. Each child is the baby of the family, and some families even have six adults taking care of one child.

Since they are the center of the family, some children are accustomed to the adults in the family around them, which tends to strengthen the "self-centered" mindset.

This mindset can only understand things from their standpoint and point of view, not from an objective, other people's standpoint and point of view to consider the problem.

If a child grows up with this mindset, emphasizing the self and being self-centered at all times, he or she is bound to run into walls everywhere.

Although this is a time for individuality and freedom, there are boundaries to freedom, and it is impossible to get along with others if my way of doing things affects them. For social people who need to cooperate with others in everything, this mindset will limit the future development of children.

At the same time, self-centered people find it difficult to accept criticism and advice from the outside world, which is also a hindrance to personal progress.

03 Too much concern for the opinions of others

Caring too much about the opinions of others in everything is a weakness in thinking. If you want to make yourself stronger and more confident, you need to reshape your thinking pattern.

A girl accidentally soiled her pants at school because she was on her period and didn't want to go back to school for fear that others would laugh at her.

The school party wants to perform a show but is afraid that others say they are out of the limelight, and hesitant to register.

The teacher has talked about the topic, other students have understood, they do not understand want to ask the teacher, but worry that the teacher will not think they did not listen carefully

......

If you care too much about the opinions of others, you will not only lose an opportunity to learn, an opportunity to show yourself, but also an opportunity to see the direction of your growth.

If you tie yourself to the opinions of others, you will make decisions and take action, lacking initiative and decisiveness.

Some people will over-interpret the reactions of others, put the burden of others' unhappiness on themselves, and always pay for the emotions and behavior of others.

04 Love to compare thinking

My son came fifth in his final exam, and my mother was so happy that she was ready to make a delicious meal to reward him. Until she found out that the neighbor's child came first in the exam, this joy dissipated and she looked at her son in a bad light.

Isfahan's father gave him a basketball endorsed by his favorite ball player, and he excitedly went to play with his best friend, who ended up with his idol's autograph on the basketball, and Zhang, who received his dream gift, instantly became depressed.

For both adults and children, the formation of the love of comparison thinking will add a lot of trouble.

These unnecessary comparisons will only blur the focus of life and waste time and energy on things that have no real meaning, which is not conducive to personal growth.

Everyone's pursuit is different, and there is nothing comparable between them.

What people should pursue is how to live their lives well, focus on what they feel is important, and avoid falling into irrational climbing thinking.

We often say that the direction is more important than the effort, and the influence of the direction of choice is precisely our mindset. If the direction is wrong, we put in more effort is also in vain.

Everyone's thinking pattern is related to their growing experience, the formation of a thinking pattern is in stages, in childhood children's thinking pattern is not yet set, and external influence accounted for the main factors. At this stage, parents should pay special attention to the development of children's thinking patterns, to help children form a growth-friendly thinking