Dear AS: Thank you for making my mum a queen

Ankylosing spondylitis: an inflammatory disease that, over time, can cause some of the small bones in your spine (vertebrae) to fuse. This fusing makes the spine less flexible and can result in a hunched-forward posture. If ribs are affected, it can be difficult to breathe deeply.

Dear Warrior Queen, Mummy, Mum,

How are you feeling today? Do you need a hand to get out of bed? I only wish I could help. My 5ft 2 inch Mummy, how you have shrunk. 4ft 10 inches now. We laugh and we joke at your munchkin size. But, we know it's because of the fusing.

Does it hurt to live every day? Don't answer that, I know it to be true. The crack of every bone or the time ticking as you wait for the next fuse. I'm sorry I can't take that away. Just remember, you're a queen.

I remember my childhood, full of late nights, stories, The Waltons and silly dancing. Michael Jacksons Smile and your rendition of Think Twice. I could listen to you for hours.

2 am wake up calls to play the Mega Drive with Uncle Daz, surprise weekend holidays and King Arthur on the beach.

The pain started to take over as the years went by but I have those memories, I know you worship them too.

Why Mum? Why you?

I tell myself that disease and pain happen to only the greatest warriors, the strongest queens. Then you must be the best.

Do you remember the walks up Malvern in those 5-inch heels? The hosepipe days on the sidewalk and the late-night barbeques? Dave always burned something right?

Do you remember when it was just you and me? I don't so much from being just a baby but I remember the stories. I love listening to your life both past and present and can only hope to share an everlasting future with you too.

I remember when you fell to the bottom of the stairs in pain. My biggest regret was not helping you. I was only little, maybe 8 or 9. But, my memories don't fade. It's a horrible feeling remembering something as an adult you didn't understand as a child. The pain is horrendous. But, who am I to talk of pain. Sure, I have some. But you, you know pain like the back of your hand.

How do you succeed in being such a fighter? Do you make pain your friend? Keep your enemies close they say after all.

Do you remember when I called the ambulance 'incase' you fell down the stairs? They were so worried, so was I. I needed to be sure and I couldn't tell that day if you were mad or proud. I think maybe both.

Do you remember when you met Dave? The 'interrogation' he got. He was scared, he must have been. My dalmatian ball in hand, little 8 years old me approaching 6ft 3 inch him; he must have been terrified.

I remember karaoke nights, late-night talks, Chinese takeaways and me sneaking into your bed even as the years ticked on.

Beverley Craven on tape and upside down brushes to duet. Dancing around the living room with a bum shake here and a shimmy there. Before the pain was too much.

I love you mum.

I'm sorry to go on, it's been one of those days. I just wanted to say thank you for teaching me that life isn't always easy. Life isn't always fair. But, it is always a gift and you are mine.

Thank you for being my gift.

Thank you AS for creating a Queen.

I love you mum.

Kayleigh x