Another Letter to my Daughter

I've done a lot of thinking today, and some things need to change. Like years ago, but I'll settle for today. As a different way to approach this other than me trying to talk to you, I'm trying this letter. Read it, take your time, think about it, then talk to me when I'm home and you are calm. Please be nice to Jack and let him sleep.

You will be making twice our combined income. You know we are in heavy debt due mostly to Christmas, new car tires, and your work supplies. It is VERY offensive that you did not offer to chip in to begin with, not to mention your horrible reaction when I mention that we should talk about your financial responsibilities. I have been SO generous with you your whole life, and not just financially. You can spend some time not being greedy. I am just shocked at your behavior over this. I raised you better.

We have gone over and above our abilities in supporting you financially, physically, and emotionally. I have worked very, very hard so you can succeed. Rudeness and cruelty, especially screaming, will NOT be tolerated. Nor will passive aggressive comments you pretend are apologies. I don't expect a thank you, but I do expect you to be appropriate and respectful to the people who care for you.

Your selfishness over the blue car is absolutely unacceptable, especially considering your attitude towards the expected payment (cleaning dads house). You expect us to pay for insurance and gas, expect dad to pay for the car, but refuse to help us in other ways.

On top of that, you refuse to let us use the car, despite jack not being able to get in the truck without pain and my difficulties and pain parking it. All because you PREFER the blue car. Your utter lack of compassion for us is astounding. Again, I raised you better.

I am trying to give you space, and treat you as an adult. I am also trying to give you respect because your name happens to be on the car title. That car is IN NO WAY YOURS. Think about it. How is it yours? You won't even CLEAN it. You have abused our goodwill, our love for you, our desire for you to be happy, and our respect long enough. I still feel all those things, but I will no longer allow you to take advantage.

Take your time and think about what I have said. When you are ready, come out and I will tell you what we expect of you from this moment on. I will be back from buying you lunch food soon. Try not to scream at Jack. If you really need to, you can take the truck to dads to think about it. Just know, you can choose to follow these new rules (I will discuss them with you, of course, but know this will be my bottom line), or you can choose to leave both ours and dad's house this weekend(I will discuss it with him of course), and you will leave the blue car. I hope you make the correct choice.

No matter what, we will always be here for you, and love you.

(After I sent this, I left to go shopping. I was only gone 25 minutes when Jack called me, needing me to come home. I finished with what I was doing as quickly as possible, then went home to talk. I don't quite remember everything that was said, as this was sent out a month before the fateful night she had me imprisoned. So about 4 months ago I think. I DO remember that she agreed to helping us out and being a productive part of the family. She even seemed happy to be able to help us with a bill of her choosing...but we were all of us fooled.)