The Key

It started through boredom. Single, getting old and living alone, there really was not much to do.

It was my new normal Friday night, gone were the days of getting drunk down the local boozer! I would say I was getting too old for it, but to be honest I didn't really socialise anymore. The darkness that is anxiety was taking its hold, so it was easy to get home from work and cocoon myself.

My living room is what I would call cosy - to convince myself it wasn't just a mess! I have stopped inviting people round as that would mean having to tidy-up, and I just don't have the motivation anymore. But then saying that - who would I invite anyway?

I have always been a little self-obsessed and what one of my ex-partners called 'an attention seeker' - and you know what? - he's right - I want people to notice me - because they never have done. Is that so wrong?

Anyway going off-track here on my trail of self-pity - I don't want people to feel sorry for me, I just want to be liked. - Oops off track again!

So, back to now - it's Friday night and I am sitting down to watch the latest Netflix series and eating as much food as possible. Lights are off curtains are drawn. I am comfortable in my own little world and wish I could stay like this forever, but I have bills to pay.

It is not easy living alone and having to watch every penny. I have a good job and my rent is minimal, but it all adds up, so there is no room for lavish treats of holidays or the like. That's when it comes to me, what I really want is a holiday. On my own, doing something out of my comfort zone, just for me. Lets call is a journey of self-discovery.

So whilst stuffing my face, I start searching online. There are so many places I could visit, it's getting quite exciting... I just need to find out where and how much I will need to save. Within 10 minutes I realise that going alone will actually cost me a small fortune - apparently, there is this thing called 'single occupancy surcharge!' So, I change my tact and look for holidays specifically for singles.. and yep, the same thing -£800 for a weeks holiday which would cost a couple less than that on a last-minute deal. As if being alone isn't hard enough, you can't even go somewhere else to be alone! I keep searching, I desperately need this, there must be something out there...

I am not sure what time it is when I jolt wide awake, the holiday searching must have taken it out of me. I take the sweet wrappers off my lap and go to shut down my laptop when I see a pop-up for an online bingo offer. Now I must tell you, I used to play online bingo, but after winning over £300 in one day and subsequently losing it over the next 24hours, I decided it probably wasn't the best idea to play again. I don't have an addictive personality, but that was addictive. Anyway, throwing caution to the wind, and in my sleepy haze I decide to have a go - why not? someone has to win right?

So I get my bank card out and load on £50, that should give me a few games and better odds of winning - plus they will match my £50 - so with £100 hopefully I can make a bit more to go towards my holiday. I tell myself if I get to £200 that will be it. As I start searching the site, I find a game that is increasing the chances of winning the progressive jackpot on each round - currently sitting at £20,000 - that will do nicely I think! so, I start to play. After a few games my eyes are getting tired again and I realise it's almost 4 am, time I should go to bed really. I still have just over £30 left to play with so I set up the games to automatically run for the rest of the night - well morning I suppose. I wonder if I have more chance as surely other people are in bed by now!

It is midday when I wake up and the heavy rain outside does nothing to improve my wellness. I put the TV on in my room and think about breakfast. That's how my life is at the moment you see, eat, sleep, repeat!

The day continues as normal, eating, watching TV and generally lounging around - a typical rainy day! Then I remember my bingo games - and although I am hopeful, I can't help but feel there will be more disappointment, so I decide to login later and continue to search for holidays instead.

My mobile rings jolting me awake, its a number I don't recognise and I don't normally answer those, but in my sleepy state, I answer it. At first, I am confused as the man on the line is telling me 'congratulations' - must be one of those scams I think - but I hear the word bingo, and suddenly stand up feeling euphoric - then nothing just blackness.

When I come round there is a lady in my flat, she has a nice suit on and is talking to me in one of those soft voices that hypnotists use - I must be dreaming. Rubbing my eyes I try to focus, nope still there. I want to shout, but my voice doesn't seem to work, I want to move but I feel like I am tied down. It feels like days I am stuck like this, but when I do come round the lady is still there. She is writing something in a little black book, and I manage to make a sound. She turns to me, and like a mother would a child, tells me not to worry that I am safe and she is looking after me. I ask her what she is doing in my flat and she explains that I am in a hospital, she tries to explain why, but I just can't understand it - I was just about to win £20,000! I must have got drunk and now I am in some weird realistic dream! She keeps writing in her black book and is saying things like: 'now you have to go back to the day it started'- huh? maybe I am being hypnotised?

I am starting to panic, I can feel the palpitations coming, what is happening to me! and then again the darkness comes.

When I come round, she is still there - I can't seem to get out of this dream. I start to cry uncontrollably, and the lady comforts me. She has really soft hands and nicely painted fingernails, she is stroking my head like a dog - it's very soothing.

I am not sure how long I have been stuck in this dream, but the same thing keeps happening and I am aware I am going through the same routine each time - I am confused with timing, so I am not sure if it is every day, or an hour or just a minute, but each time I wake the lady is sat there with her black book, writing things down.

I have additional memories in each episode and am starting to understand what is going on. They are accusing me of stealing £20,000! I keep telling them that I won it on bingo, but they are saying I don't even own a laptop - ridiculous! I don't know why they are doing this to me, it really is a nightmare - not just a dream.

I have noticed that they have my arms and legs restrained and they have tidied my flat and painted it all white, they also seem to be giving me some sort of drugs. They must be after my money - I've got to be smart and play their game.

Next time they give me some pills, I pretend to swallow them and fall asleep, but I am fully awake so I can find out what is going on.

I hear the lady with the black book talking to someone, a doctor maybe? The conversation, went something like this:

''She was found by her neighbour in the garden, half-dressed in a toxic state, shouting that she was going on holiday. Her neighbour advised she didn't know her well but knew she rarely went out and never had visitors, so tried to help her inside. As she did so, she noticed a man lying on the floor by another flat, not moving. At this point, she called the police. It transpires that our patient had an extreme drug and alcohol problem that none of her family or work colleagues are aware of, or willing to admit to. The man lying on the floor had serious head injuries and there was a hammer with our patient's prints found close to the scene. Luckily the man survived and his memories are slowly coming back to him. It seems that the patient has blocked out anything that happened that night and is still living in her flat in her own mind, she keeps mentioning a bingo win of £20,000 - the exact amount that was stolen from the gentleman's flat. We are keeping her sedated for now, but the police will want to speak to her soon''

What! they are crazy! - I need to get my hands on their black book to find out who the hell they are and what they keep writing down, .. all I want to do is go on holiday and spend my winnings - the black book is the key to me getting out of this nightmare......