Ring Around the Rosie

Mystifying Marvin and his assistant, Bodacious Brenda, worked the senior circuit, which consisted of 55+ and assisted living communities. The duo, whose shows never lasted past 9:00p.m., bewildered and impressed their audiences with sleight of hand and Marvin’s specialty, hypnosis. Brenda would meander through the crowd, selecting unsuspecting and relatively spry audience members to take part in the hypnosis segment of the act.

Marvin would normally start with one “volunteer”, placing him or her in a hypnotic state and asking that person to act out a specific scenario. The number of people on stage would grow to twenty or so. With help from Brenda, the large group was divided into smaller groups and Marvin would disseminate specific instructions to each cluster. The hypnotist would say a predetermined command and the assemblage would mimic barnyard animals. Four or five would strut and cluck like chickens, several others began mooing like cows, still others bleated like sheep. It was all great fun and the audience usually delivered a standing ovation. Their show performed in all the local venues, then departed for the next town.

Two days later, an armored car pulled up in front of the local bank. Two guards exited with a hand truck and entered the establishment. Per protocol, a third guard stayed in the back protecting its valuable shipment. He would reopen the vehicle’s rear door when his partners emerged from the bank with their cargo. After the guards entered the bank, a small group of elderly people began gathering by the entrance. The group started growing in number until, when the guards re-emerged, there were approximately thirty-five seniors meandering around aimlessly in the area between the bank and the armored truck. The guards, both in their late twenties, didn’t feel threatened by a gaggle of expressionless grey hairs and started shouldering their way through the throng towards the truck. Their partner, seeing the guards approach, opened the vehicle’s door.

The guards were in the middle of the retirees when a person dressed from head to foot in loose fitting garb and wearing a V-for Vengeance mask stepped from an adjacent alleyway. The person, sex undeterminable, placed a seventies style boom box on the sidewalk and pushed the play button.

Upon hearing the song “Ring around the Rosie” sung by a children’s choir, the assembly formed a tight circle around the guards, held hands, and joined in singing the old ditty. When the lyrics “we all fall down” were reached, the crowd did exactly that. The perplexed guards were left completely vulnerable to a pepper spray attack the disguised person unleashed. At the same moment, and with perfect precision, an identically clad individual appeared and pepper sprayed the remaining guard. The song started again and everyone stood and repeated their earlier actions. Both perpetrators entered the truck during the second chorus, ignored the cash, seized two medium size pouches filled with precious gems, and rushed to waiting motorcycles, making good their escape. Approximately 45 seconds had elapsed from the start of the robbery to the twosome’s getaway.

The boom box continued to play the same song for two minutes, and then an electronically altered voice said, “Go home, children,” and the tape disintegrated in a puff of smoke. Individually, the group slowly regained their composure and were shocked to see the three guards still writhing in pain. The police arrived and transported everyone to headquarters on a bus. Most of the seniors didn’t know anyone else in the group and had no recollection of what took place. The only common thread was they all enjoyed the children’s song, “Ring around the Rosie.”

Marvin and Brenda sipped drinks and enjoyed a sumptuous meal at a five-star restaurant several hundred miles from their latest escapade. Their manager/fence had called and told them about a new town filled with senior communities near Toronto, and a bank that distributed gold mini-bars.

Marvin said, “I bet the Canadians will enjoy playing Ring around the Rosie. Eh!”