No Quitters Allowed

Scrolling through ads I notice an ad guaranteeing twenty thousand dollars in a week or less, not trusting what I was seeing I called my wife to the table and pointed out the ad to her. Her eyes widened in disbelief, shaking her head and telling me "these things are scams or its a catch to it". Who would have known her words would hit so close to home.

However, I chose to call the number anyway figuring what could it hurt, that's when a automated recording started and instructed me to enter info using my keypad in which I did. The automated voice informed me that I'd receive a pamphlet by mail instructing me on how to obtain my twenty thousand dollars.

I was intrigued and somewhat excited but quickly forgot about it as I dug back into the ads looking for work. This was my routine until on the third day after filling the automated responses a Little Black Book arrived in the mail just as they said. Overly excited I opened to the first page to the instructions but noticed instead they were rules, that went something like this.

1)You are at your own risk

2)You may not discuss the game with anyone including law enforcement

3)Payments are instant and you will receive payment for each individual game upon completion.

4)Once you accept and begin participating YOU CAN NOT QUIT or you will be held accountable for the actions or crimes you may commit while performing instructed tasks and all money will be forfeited.

5)You can do as many tasks per day as you please

6)Call the number below to activate your game and acknowledge you are a willing participant

Below was a 800 for me to dial "you've done worse for zero dollars before so why not?" is what I told myself and reasoned with whatever I had to do. Moments later I was dialing the 800 number from the Little Black Book and the same automated voice greeted and congratulated me for joining, I began to get a gut churning uneasy feeling. The kind of feeling when you've misbehaved at school and your mom is waiting on you to come home type of feelings. I felt like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar, until I read the first task and it said "do 20 jumping jacks and gain nine hundred dollars".

"This can't be real" was my initial thought yet found myself on number 18 out of 20 in my living room, as soon as I reached 20 I heard my notifications go off. Nine hundred dollars had been deposited into my cash app account, I was stunned at first but once convinced it was real I flipped to the next page holding my next task.

This one was kinda silly but for fifteen hundred dollars I was game, it said to "go into a Starbucks and drink a strangers entire coffee and leave". Without hesitation I shot to the nearest Starbucks, as I walked in I noticed a rather young man and assumed if things were to take an ugly turn at least I'm sure I could take this kid. I had a loose ten dollar bill in my sweats and in one swoop dropped the bill and swiped up the coffee from the table. It was hot so gulping was out of the question and the young guy just stared at me dumbfounded as to what in the world was happening. It was awkward, taking big swigs and avoiding eye contact until I had finished, I turned to leave and the young guy rose to his feet quite larger than what I expected. Backing out of the door I heard my notification alert once again, it was a deposit in the amount of fifteen hundred dollars added to my account. I was pushed outside by a patron and I bolted for my car.

As I sat behind the wheel I flipped to the next task which was "go into a park and kiss a strangers dog on the lips", I was horrified "Oh no, I'm not doing that" I said to myself, then I remembered the rules. It's not that bad I'll just make it a quick peck on the kisser, so I thought.

Spotting a lady I sparked a conversation asking about the breed of her dog, she allowed me to rub it and in one swoop I planted a kiss on the dogs lips. The lady's eyes widened, only God knows what she was thinking as she snatched her dog away by the leash. I chuckled to myself while walking back to my car and two thousand dollars had just deposited, excited I decided to do another so I flipped to the next page of the Little Black Book.

The next task was smoke twenty cigarettes in fifteen minutes for six thousand dollars, with that type of motivation nobody had to twist my arm. I went to the nearest store to buy a pack and smoked them all, sometimes four or five at a time, it made me light headed and I wanted to puke but I couldn't stop. I checked my watch I still had seventeen seconds left to spare so I wasted those throwing up, I felt like roadkill until my notification sounded off. Ten thousand and four hundred was my total, feeling sick I called it a day but found myself awakening around midnight, the Little Black Book was calling my name. I wanted to tell someone but losing all I had earned was frightening.

Next task was a bit extreme but there was no quitting allowed but i did entertain the idea. It says "take a patrol car, take it one county over,and leave it" and the gain would be four thousand and two hundred dollars. After swiveling the idea I was on my way, spotted a few deputies eating inside a Denny's and quietly relieved one of his patrol car and did what the task instructed, no more no less bringing my total fourteen thousand and six hundred dollars. Feeling drained I called a cab to take me home and fell deep into my bed, drifting off on my wife as she drilled me about where I had just come from.

I had one last task and this one took the cake, the last task was to "light three cherry bombs inside of a courtroom proceeding and escape without being arrested", this task would be a gain of five thousand and four hundred dollars making my grand total twenty thousand dollars in less than a week like the ad said. I sat in a back corner scared out of my mind, twisted the three firecrackers by the stem and lit the fuse and kicked the bunch under the bench ahead of me. When they sounded off the lady in front of me shrieked in terror as she leapt from her seat, as the bailiffs came to her aid I exited undetected receiving my final payment as I rushed down the corridor.