Hospital of Doom

Hospital of Doom

I received the certified letter in the mail. I hate those letters, they scare me. It was from the health department informing me that my yearly mammogram would not be at the regular clinic but at Bloom Memorial Hospital. As I read the words ‘Bloom Memorial

Hospital’ the hair on my arms stood on end, a shiver ran down my spine and my toes

involuntarily curled inward. As a child I had horrific nightmares of Bloom Memorial

Hospital. When I was little we called it ‘hospital of doom’ I knew then it was an insane

asylum. I avoided walking past it on my way to school although I did have to pass by a

few times. Each time I heard a different shriek, scream or forlorn howl…all the sounds of

lost souls, dreary without a shred of hope. We knew as we walked quickly past those

tortured sounds were coming from humans.

The actual hospital was set way back from the road approachable by a stone driveway shaped like an upside down “U.” The front entrance of this building was supported by foreboding dark stone pillars with red veins dashing though they reminded me of veins pulsating with blood. These lifeless seemingly blood filled pillars succeeded in holding up the dark grey tiled roof. The tiles looked like carved stone, each laid carefully upon the other, interlocking. The chimneys were always smoking although the building was never warm. The strong shutters equipped with large wrought iron bolts were able to be locked from the inside at a moments notice.

The wood flower boxes on the lower level were now weathered, dry rotted and barely hanging on. The contents would make Morticia Aadams cringe with delight. This building sat on a large parcel of land we used to joke that if they experimented on someone and the patient died they could always bury them in the forest surrounding this place and no one would be the wiser. I remember as a kid the lush green lawns surrounding Bloom and how it had looked like the huge house appeared to rise out of no where, now the forests had fallen way back all the grass was gone leaving only a dusty brown bareness. You could put your teeth together and feel the grit. It was not a welcoming sight.

How can they still be open? The building was ancient when I was little how much worse would it be now” I had only a few days before the appointment. I called to confirm as the letter stated I should. I called and after several rings someone picked up. I was apprehensive already.

“Yello?!”

“Uh, hello. Have I reached Bloom Memorial Hospital?” I asked.

“Yelp, I would…..”

I was nearly deafened as the receiver was obviously dropped on the counter. It hit and then was pushed away sliding making a high pitched sound. Then I heard what sounded like a “Yelp!” from a wounded dog in the background but how could that be? It was probably someone playing around. Or perhaps they had guard dogs.

Nothing for a minute then a different woman picked up and said “I am sorry, how may I help you?”

“Have I reached Bloom memorial Hospital? My name is Marilyn Luca and I am confirming my appointment for my yearly mammogram. I was referred to you by the health department.” I could hear flipping and shuffling of paper, no the plastic clicking of square tipped acrylic nails on a keyboard.

“You have reached Bloom memorial Hospital, and yes we will see you here at one pm tomorrow. Once you have parked come up the steps, pass the pillars through the double glass doors. Sign in at the front desk as you enter the building; you will be directed where to go from there.”

“Are you folks set up with the proper equipment to do these types of tests, I mean Bloom has been around for years and it looks like it needs some updating…I am just making sure so I don’t waste your time and mine.”

“Have you called to cancel your appointment?”

“No” I replied “Would you answer the question?”

The nurse’s short reply “We are equipped.”

“Alright I will see you tomorrow at one pm.”

She interjected “Arrive fifteen minutes early we need to fill out paper work, your doctor did not send over your file.” Click. The phone went dead. I laid the receiver down in the cradle and saw an abstract pattern on the phone from the sweat which had collected on my palm. I wiped off the phone with my shirt and replaced it in its home again; the hair on my arm was standing up.

The fateful day had arrived. I parked as instructed and entered the building through the double glass doors. The dark stone curved front desk was so tall you could not see the person behind it. I stood in front of the desk patiently waiting and when there was no action I looked over to see no one there. A heavy pattering of dust covered the top of the desk. A clip board on top of the cold marble held a permanently borrowed bank pen. A black bold sentence screamed at me to SIGN IN. I wrote my name, time of arrival and time of appointment although I was the only one signing in on this crispy new white sheet. I sat down; the magazines on the table were two years old. I started to sweat, my time release protection obviously not laboratory tested. My eyes darted about the waiting room, devoid of humans except myself.

The fabric on the chairs was old; tables were hand made from wood which looked whittled. I said out loud “This is ridiculous!” and got up to leave when I heard a scuffle behind the desk. I walked towards the foreboding desk and peeked over. There was a small somewhat hairy face woman hunched over a stack of papers. I cleared my throat which seemed to scare her as she jumped.

“Yelp! OH scared! Help you?” her voice was raspy, barky.

“Hello my name is Marilyn Luca and I am here for my yearly mammogram. I was referred by the health department and have been here fifteen minutes, is the doctor around?”

“Yelp. Nurse.” The white lab coat she wore was so long the sleeves went past her fingertips. I wondered how she could accomplish anything dressed like that. I waited ten more minutes. I heard click, click, click, click of heels and then the mail nurse arrived on the scene. She looked over my insurance cards, asked me to take the forms home, fill them out and return once complete, this saves time she instructed…sorry for the wait.

I was led down a darkened hallway to a clean room where I was told to disrobe from the waist up and to put on the customary open front top in the feminine shade of rose. I did so and sat in the room waiting. After a few minutes the same nurse came to collect me we walked to the room where the actual atom splitting would occur. This machine was surprisingly up to date with a cushioned area for the twins to be crushed and viewed immediately on an X-Ray screen monitor in the same room.

The nurse led me to the machine. I saw a figure of a person doing the actual image taking to my left but could not see their face. The breast image was displayed in negative film right in front of the technician. If there was a suspicious image the tech could zoom in and define the image. I was impressed by the technology so well hidden in this decrepit environment. The procedure took twenty minutes then the nurse led me back to the first room. I was told to get dressed but check with her before leaving. I put my own top back on the rose colored top went into a bin…it was the only one in there.

I waited in room number one when the nurse rushed in without knocking.

“The Doctor needs to see you right away.” She said out of breath.

“What is the matter? Don’t scare me like that you didn’t even knock!”

“He wants to discuss your mammogram with you before you leave.”

We left the room and walked down the dark hall further than before.

“I’m a nervous wreck after your lousy bedside manner!” I told the nurse as she clicked, clicked, clicked briskly on my right side.

“Off the record, would you like a Valium?” She asked me.

“Sure.” I replied. She handed me a small yellow pill which I managed to swallow dry as we entered the doctor’s office.

“Hello my name is Dr. Ramses; I would like to discuss the results of your mammogram.”

“Ok….did I pass?” I asked jokingly.

“There is a large mass in your right breast which may be cancerous I would like to get a biopsy.” was his deadpan reply.

“Uh…wow….ok…can we do it now?” I asked, shocked I wanted to know immediately if I was ok. My thoughts scattered.

“Yes we can set you up for a biopsy right now.” He said.

The nurse had left the room and returned with papers for me to sign. I signed them without reading. I assumed they simply contained what we had discussed; I was saying yes to biopsy my right breast for cancer.

I scribbled my name and handed her back the papers. I dropped them all on the floor; she said nothing but looked at me and smiled. She continued her ever smiling silence and picked all the papers off the floor. She handed me a neatly folded rose color open front top to don. I did.

As I put the top on I fumbled. My arm would not go into the arm hole. My speech was slurred. I had blurred vision. What in the hell?! Valium had never affected me like this, what did she give me! I trust my doctor and his staff don’t I? But wait they are not my regular doctor or nurse. I will ask them why there are stars in my eyes and why do I feel so woozy?

The nurse collected me and took me down a hall, further down. The hunched over woman who had been at the front desk raced past us, she looked blurry as she ran by on all fours, curved tail sticking up out of her white lab coat. She yelped as she passed us and turned right at the end of the hall. In the back of my mind I recalled it was the same ‘yelp’ sound I heard over the phone when I called for my appointment.

We walked past rooms of patients on our way to where ever. Their doors were open and the bed was right there so you couldn’t help but look. You couldn’t help but see. I saw a person in one room sitting in a wheelchair, her face sweaty, clammy dripping with wetness; she looked worriedly towards me in a type of panicked alarm. Facing the door, seated in that wheelchair she smiled at me and raised her white cotton lace trimmed skirt over her knees to reveal the slimy frog legs upon which she was resting. They were crossed, the webbed feet turned upwards in a yoga position. A tear fell from her eye as she pushed her skirt back down.

Did I really see what I thought I saw? Was I too scared after being approached by the possibility of cancer that I was hallucinating and not realizing it? The room we passed next had a large person lying on a bed. They had kicked off the sterile white sheets and their body was that of a pig with a human head still sadly attached. The head was trying to turn towards me and the eyes those rolling half pig half human eyes.

I was stumbling; my feet felt huge and I could not control them, the nurse was right there still smiling and offered me her hand. She stuck out a black cloven hoof for me to grasp, I took it thinking it can’t really be… It’s the effect of the pill, the whole cancer scare, what the hell…she can’t be a pig can she? I still didn’t believe anything as she led me tap, tap, tap to the chair…that tapping wasn’t her heels…it was her hooves!

I sat down thinking would I be able to find my way out of here?

She returned ‘tap, tap, tap…click, click, click’ that sounds more pronounced now like the eyes clicking on the bears at Disneyland. She told me a biopsy is no big deal they remove a small piece of tissue from the criminal mass, it is tested in a lab over at blah blah blah. Sure, get it over with right? No big deal.

She slowly rubbed my right arm with a cotton ball dipped in alcohol.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“This way you won’t feel a thing, but you can see what he is doing and ask any questions.” Her reply was rehearsed as though reading from a script.

“Are you a pig?” was what I wanted to ask her “or is it just the happy pill you slipped me off the record you crazy bitch.” But I kept those questions silent inside my head. She swiftly placed an intravenous drip needle in my vein on the first try. I was thinking she was either a damn fine pig nurse or she was once an experienced drug addict. I started to feel droopy as she pushed the syringe plunger. The clear liquid in the sack above my head was on drip mode, if I felt pain I could squeeze the plunger I had under my thumb and it released one dose of pain reliever, only one. Just for the hell of it I pushed the button; slowly a warm liquid was entering my veins. I felt as though I was getting ready to jump off a diving board and free fall floating, flying, airborne not earth bound where things can hurt you.

I sat back, eyes closed and waited. After a few minutes ‘click, click click’ the nurse pranced back, placed and empty not too clean five gallon bucket at my side. She smiled at me and trotted out of the room.

The doctor I had met earlier entered the room. Dressed in surgical scrubs head covered with what looked like a bad shower cap, his frock sealed at the neck, waist tied tight, no pleat drawstring pants and booties completed his outfit. A grey mask hung under his chin, he smiled at me and told me it would be fine, not to worry. He told me one last thing had to be attended to and then we would begin, he would be right back. One thought passed my mind as he drifted past me a grayish blur. I asked “What is this big bucket for?’

His reply “Oh, it is for your breast once we remove it that lump will never be able to bother you again.”

I felt beads of sweat break out all over my body. I sat still as he exited the room like a jellyfish caught in a current. I looked down at the five gallon bucket it had held paint filthy colors inside sneered. Faces along the sides of this bucket had dripping mouths.

I pulled out the intravenous needle she had placed so deftly inside me. The liquid kept dripping out of the thin needle onto the floor as the line dangled from the sack of nightmares. I grasped both arm rests of the chair and tried to stand up; I fell back on the chair. I reached for the arms of the chair again and forced myself stand erect. My knees felt like invisible obstacles only hindering me, calves trembling not knowing if they could support my weight and my feet wet inside my shoes. I took a wobbly step forward keeping my knees locked to stay upright. The floor was wet it was like ice skating. I lunged towards the door, grasped the tarnished brass knob and pulled; it felt like it weighed two tons. I leaned my whole body into this next try and yanked it open. I started to walk as fast as my rubber legs would carry me towards what I thought was the exit. My feet felt like they were snow skis covered with a sticky substance walking was slow and laborious. Sweat dripped down my cheeks.

I remembered it was a straight shot to the exit. I told myself I could make it. I thought I was making progress when I heard a voice down the hall screech “WHERE is she?!” The ‘she’ was me and yes I was going on leave without leave. It felt like the dream where your legs do not work and you feel like you are crawling yet walking. I envisioned myself moving fast as a snail trying to out run a pillar of salt. Just down the hall I heard her pig heels click, click, clicking, getting faster and faster. I knew she was running.

I was close to the exit I could tell. I had passed pig man in his bed his head shaking and his eyes darting back and forth seeing nothing. I sped past frog woman who simply looked at me and licked her lips with a very long pointed tongue. I sped away at a turtle’s pace and was nearly knocked over by the over anxious dog lady who could run like a greyhound. Her head was human hairy but normal looking; her curved tail whipped out from a split in the back of her frock. It was held high above her back like a mongrel’s tail would be. The pig nurse was closing the gap, she was about to place her black split hoof on top of my right shoulder when I shoved myself out the heavy double glass doors, losing a shoe as I fled down the cold hard stairs. Stumbling I ran to my car. It was locked. I grabbed the zipper to the side pocket of my purse to get the keys. It was stuck. I screamed “Don’t do this to me now!!!” and yanked hard on the zipper. The worn fabric ripped allowing me access inside. Car keys never looked so good. I grabbed them found the right one and inserted it into the driver’s door. I opened the door, jumped inside and locked all the doors. The impact of the pig nurse’s body shook the car as she rammed into it. I dropped the car keys on the floor between my feet. She was hitting the window biting it, her teeth broken and pointy dirty pig teeth. She was squealing and kicking my car door with her black cloven hooves. I was shaking; I bent over and saw the keys. I grabbed them and some how shoved the car key into the ignition and fired it up. I threw it into reverse and hit the gas. As the car started to roll backwards I turned the wheel down the driveway away from this nightmarish place. The pig screamed as I knocked her out of the way.

I was tearing down the road heading out the upside down U drive when I realized I was being pursued by the dog faced receptionist. She was yelping and chasing my car trying to bite my tire. I steered a bit more to the right as she lunged forward towards my right front tire. I hit her dead on and felt the bump. I took a quick look in the rear view mirror her dog head was flattened, you could see my tire track over it, blood spattered all over the stone driveway. She was lying on her side in the road but her dog legs continued to flail in midair.

My car left a billowing trail of dust as I hi-tailed it away from Hospital of Doom. I felt a breeze and looked down realizing I was still wearing the rose open front top pig nurse had given me. I hoped not to be pulled over for speeding on the way to safety.