Dark Thoughts

Sitting in front of the glass door that connected her room to a small balcony, so small that she never understood why they had even bothered building, she lit a thin, harmless cigarette, for the fourth time in 5 minutes.

Large plumes of smoke invaded the air of that jumble, making it impossible for her to glance outside the door frames. She was no longer sure whether the unmet necessity for nicotine, the desire to fill her lungs with CO2 to speed up her life cycle, or simply the desire to cover the view behind the glass, was pushing her to light those tiny tobacco cylinders.

Despite the difficulty created by the smoke curtain, beyond the glass she could distinguish the silhouette of a high building, with a modern architecture and a very particular facade.

An impressive facade where the balance of sprayed colors was in perfect harmony. She knew even though the colors were not clearly visible from the corner where she was sitting. She also knew that in front of the facade was a children's playground where Alan could have played with his friends. She knew every detail, down to the interior behind the facade, where everything was as gray as the smoke around her.

Memories flow easily, bringing her back to that day….

It was Sunday, a typical winter Sunday, in her office the pleasant aroma of coffee intertwined with that of freshly baked donuts.

Sophie, you must eat something.- said Daniel nervously. -You will never be able to solve this case with an empty stomach.

She took a deep breath and than replied calmly :

I know Daniel, I understand. Simply…. I just can't forgive myself for letting him go with 2 of the children. It was my fault, I couldn’t save them. I did nothing. I stood there and watched him leave with 2 little angels crying and praying for freedom.

Sophie, stop it! Stop blaming yourself! You saved 8 of them. Without you, they would probably not be alive now, if we had made even one wrong move he would have killed them all. Now take a quick break and eat something.

She finally gave up and started eating one of the donuts that Daniel had placed on her desk a few minutes ago. Suddenly, Anna burst into her office breathing heavily.

Take a look at this! We found them, and you won’t believe where they were hiding. - Anna managed to say in her shaky voice.

They looked at each other baffled and then turned their puzzled looks at the folder Anna was holding. Sophie took it and started browsing the pages. Her heartbeat doubled, hands began to tremble, and without trying to hide the feeling of shock invading her body, she murmured:

He was eavesdropping on us. Daniel … that mother f*** knew every move we were making.

Daniel squeezed her in his arms trying to calm her down. It wasn’t the best time to panic.

-Assemble the team! We need a good plan in no time.

Two hours later, the 20 best cops were divided into 5 cars, Sophie and Daniel were alone in one of them. The plan was simple. They would both catch the kidnapper by surprise in the apartment where he was holding the children and the others would be hiding outside waiting to catch him.

The cars were at a considerable distance from each other, but all with one destination, the building in front of her house. That modern building, with large balconies, and harmonious colors that she watched every day as she drank her morning coffee and dreamed. Dreamed that one day she and Daniel could afford an apartment there, their children could play in the playground below, and on long summer nights they would enjoy their dinner under the moonlight.

She just could not believe how that criminal, her nightmare for months was in the apartment of her dreams, so close, and she had not hadthe slightest suspicion.

Daniel's sudden restraint turned her into reality.

We are here! Are you ready?

Even though she was no longer sure what she was feeling, she nodded.

The back entrance of the palace was used, from there it was impossible for him to notice their arrival.

Stealthily climbed the stairs to the fourth floor of the building and stopped in front of the apartment door, behind which the children were standing. Daniel tried to quietly open the door with the spare key they had been able to secure from the landlord, while she tried to stay calm.

A duft of alcohol welcomed them as soon as they pushed the door to enter the empty apartment where they were no longer sure what to expect.

As they carefully searched every inch of that void, she heard a cracking noise and then felt a gun behind her head.

-Well, well Ms. Sophi and her sweet boyfriend are paying me a visit.

-Please put the gun down Lucas, let us work this through. Nobody needs to be hurt. We just want the kids, and you want to be free.

-Oh yeah, sure please take them, I am so happy to do the right thing. - Lucas said sarcastically. - You really think, I am that stupid huhh. You will take the kids and then arrest me. I didn’t come that far to be in prison for the rest of my life.

-I let you go once, didn’t follow and told you I will come back for Alan and Ema. Here I am keeping my word. - she said turning around slowly so she could see him in the eye.

-Don’t move or I will shoot you!

-Calm down, I just want you to see me in the eye. As I told you, I am a woman of my word, and I promise, if you give me the children I will let you go. Daniel will take one and I the other and then we will leave, telling the others you escaped.

Lucas looked confused, Daniel even more, but then after some minutes, he shouted for the children to come in.

-Emma go with him!

The little girl started walking towards Daniel petrified. They couldn’t believe the plan was working. A relief feeling started filling Sophie's body,as she watched Emma leave and Alan approaching her. Alan was almost out of the apartment when she started walking backwards in his direction.

-I know some of your kollegs are waiting for me outside, there is no escape for me, but such is for you too.

Bang, a deafening noise hits the room. Her leg started burning, getting wet from a warm liquid, she couldn't move. Alan was crying, loud steps were approaching. Bang, Bang she heard the powerful noise again and then darkness…….

… Rumbling, lightning and her eyes filled with tears again. It had been a year since she heard about Alan's death in her hospital bed but the weight of the guilt had not eased. The pandemic had worsened her condition, no therapy was helping. She had started writing, writing about her pain, the guilt that was burning her inside and catapulted her in constant search of medicine for her soul.

The sound of rain hitting the glass in front of her, brought to mind her small black notebook. She wanted to write, she needed to express herself.

Little did she know what was waiting in the drawer instead of her notebook. It was a check, a 20,000 dollar check and a tiny note with a link on it.

What the ….?!- she hurried to open the link but what she saw made her jaw drop.

“For Alan, who I could not save from the crime, but will always carry in my heart, and

For all of you who lost someone and cannot move on.”

(Best seller!)

Happiness, sadness, confusion, mixed feelings took over her body, leaving only one thought in her head …. Daniel ....