Why don't I apologize for something I obviously did wrong?

Today I went to the supermarket, in the dairy products area to select milk, behind me came a child pushing a cart, hit me, and then hurriedly ran away, the adults beside me did not say anything.

At the checkout, a grandmother with something did not queue up before me to checkout, without any indebtedness, the cashier just silently accounted for the price of goods.

There are many such things in our daily life, as long as the other party says "sorry", I can feel respected, rather than ignoring my feelings.

But why is it that you don't want to apologize when you've done something wrong?

First of all, people have a stereotypical thinking.

Among the dormitories, there are often people who get up early. Getting up early will make some loud noises, which often affects the roommate's sleep. This time, the early riser just needs to wait for his roommate to get up and say sorry, and no one will have any disconnect.

But often people who get up early think they are not at fault. Early rising is not the wrong thing to do, and every action has been very quiet, but the roommate is still dissatisfied, clearly is targeted.

This is a stereotypical thinking, because I made amends for this thing, you should not be angry, I can not apologize.

Think of it as a small thing that doesn't require an apology. Although some apologies, but do not need to express it.

I don't mean it", "I was in a hurry", "the child is still young", "the elderly", "I can't face it". "I can't face it" and so on as an excuse to ignore the harm caused to others by their own behavior.

If you have an apology, you don't have to express it and ignore the other person's feelings.

Second, people who do not have the right values

On the bus, often encounter such a class of elderly people, because you are young people, so you must give up your seat, you do not let the seat is disrespectful to the elderly.

Such an old man is someone who does not have the right values, he does not have a clear sense of right and wrong, and does not know that his behavior will cause harm to others.

People who have lost their values will have a very strong self-defense system, which is their way of life. The need to apologize for doing something wrong is beyond their comprehension and beyond their thinking perception.

Finally, people who were not raised well in early childhood

In the supermarket, children encounter people is not a big deal, but parents see and do not guide their children to apologize is a big deal. This will make the child think that it is okay to do things this way, it is not necessary to apologize. It has an impact on the child's three views of the establishment.

When an adult misunderstands a child, a very clear apology is needed to make the child feel respected. For example, the mother is in a very bad mood because she was scolded by the leader at work. Sternly reprimanding a child for seeing that he or she did not clean up his or her toys. The child is aggrieved because she did not control her emotions. When the mother realizes that she has done something wrong, instead of buying the child a toy or increasing the allowance to express her apology, she sincerely apologizes to the child. Apologize with your own actions.

We know what kind of people don't want to apologize, so what is the right and effective apology?

Don't be disingenuous and pass the buck

We need to take responsibility for offending or aggravating others. We should apologize directly and clearly in sincere terms and be willing to make amends for the hardship we have caused to the other person.

Set the right apology goals

Each of the acceptance of the apology is different, some people a sorry can be ice-free. Some people do more than that and it won't help. So we have to analyze the specific situation and come up with our most sincere attitude to solve the problem.

Clearly apologize for the content

For some serious wrongdoing a sorry, is not in exchange for forgiveness.

People have been hoping that Tangyuanism can come out to formally apologize. But what was not expected was just an unconvincing apology letter, which consumers simply did not accept. In the end, Tangyuanism reflected properly on its mistake and made a refund to make consumers feel better.

For some small mistakes, you can use a sorry in exchange for forgiveness. But the big mistakes, but also need to give each other with action to compensate, so as to make up for their mistakes.

When we receive a sincere apology from the other party, we also need to give each other a certain reply, telling each other I have accepted your apology.

"Sorry" is a simple word, but "sorry" behind the embodiment of respect for others, we can not ignore. I hope each of us has the courage to say "sorry" and the courage to reply "it's okay".