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When to keep the peace and when to stand up for yourself

There's a fine line between keeping the peace and standing up for yourself. I'm not sure if I have found it.

By Talara NolanPublished 2 months ago 3 min read
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When to keep the peace and when to stand up for yourself
Photo by Rob Wicks on Unsplash

I feel like I am caught in an odd place in both my relationship and with my family. In a place where I want to stand up for myself, but I also want to keep the peace. I feel like I have to really think about every situation that I am in, and consider if it is worth the fight or not. Most of the time, I'm just not sure. I am trying to stand up for myself more, however that causes trouble most of the time. I feel like I always take it, I always try to do what people say is the right thing to do. Of course, that always works out best for everyone else, and never me. When will someone look out for me? When will I come first? Maybe it's just getting older, but I am sick of always doing the right thing and never being put first. I know that my problem is my life is that I don't have a lot of people that will really take care of me, that will stand up for me. All I want is one.

In my relationship, I know that he is cheating. I knew before, if I am being honest I have known for a long time. There is something different about this time, for me at least. When I am actually accepting it. The reason it makes me sad is because he claimed to be that one person for me. The one person that would look out for me, that would stand up for me, that truly loved me. Even if it wasn't fully true, even if I knew it. Now I feel like I have to believe it, and somehow that's different. The feeling of being totally alone is overwhelming to me. I have to realize that I need to be confident enough in myself to be just on my own.

My family, well that is harder. Cutting people off is just not an option for me right now. I do live with them. So it makes it more complicated. I have to do what is best for me, while still making them happy. My sister is going through something. She has two kids, and has an addiction problem. The problems have always been ongoing, though I wasn't really ever involved with them. I would just hear about them. One of her daughters go to the same school as my daughter. As my sister has no phone number, I am the contact number. The problem with that is that my sister doesn't always take her school. The child has missed, most likely at least half of the school year. For the past week, my sister has been going through something. The child hasn't gone to school in at least a week. And for a week she hasn't contacted the school. She barely answers anyone anymore. My parents say that I can't contact anyone, such as child services. So I have to find a fine line of doing what I think is right and doing what they want. They enable her, and I won't participate in that. What do you do when other people enable an addict?

The struggle for me is that I feel like I have no one to talk to. I feel totally and completely alone. My mother doesn't want to talk about it. One of those, if I ignore it then it's not really happening. She really doesn't want me to tell my step-father what is happening. So I feel like I have no one to talk to. The feeling of being totally alone, is very isolating. However, making friends as an adult is hard. Especially for someone like me that is an introvert. I wish I had someone to talk to.

-T

FriendshipFamilyBad habits
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About the Creator

Talara Nolan

I am a single parent to a 4 year old girl and live with her in Canada. I love working out and have lost over 45 lbs over time. I would love to share what I have learned and all the things that have worked for me over time.

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